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WLS for Friends and Family



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Two and a half years ago I embarked on my weight loss surgery journey. The six months that I needed to complete all of my pre requistes went by pretty fast. A test for this, a test for that, conferring with this person, etc etc. ( You guys know what I mean) It all culminated with my gastric sleeve surgery in August 2017. Fast forward two years and I lost 63 lbs and gained better health.

Long gone are the multiple medications I had to take in order to survive. The Meds helped with my heart condition, diabetes, high blood pressure , gout , and other assorted chronic conditions. Unfortunately, the same medications that helped me with those chronic conditions were wrecking havoc on my liver and kidneys. The panacea to help with my chronic conditions and save my vital organs was to lose weight, adopt a healthier lifestyle and maintain the weight loss. . When I say lose weight I meant a good amount of it, 20 lbs was not going to cut it this time. I have been on maintenance for 17 months. For me, it's a struggle everyday. I attend Over Eaters Anonymous meetings and meet with a therapist once a week. I am trying my best to maintain my new found health as I know the insurance company will not give me a do over.

My wife who has monitored my journey and has a few chronic conditions herself has recently had her gastric sleeve surgery. As we do with so many other things in life we are doing this together. A friend of mine who is quite over weight and suffers from chronic conditions also had gastric sleeve surgery and he is experiencing a rapid weight loss. Hey looks very different. A very close friend and his wife also seeing my result with WLS both recently has gastric sleeve surgery. The wife is experiencing a rapid weight loss the husband is losing slow and sure.

Prior to their surgeries I counseled them on the pitfalls of relying on surgery alone for long term success. I know three people that had WLS in the past and all three told me that they gained all the weight back and then some. Surprisingly all three work in my various doctors offices. These people are close to medical advice and two are medical professionals. I told my family and friends about these three ( I got permission to tell their stories but I left out the names) and warned them against having the surgery if they couldn't commit to a new lifestyle. They only had one shot at it as insurance would probably not pay again. It was better to wait to get WLS than to rush into it unprepared.

So far all four are doing well. I speak to my friends at least twice a week to lend support and guidance. This also helps me to keep on track as I find that these conversations help reinforce my good habits as well. My couple friends suggested that we should get together as we have talked on the phone but haven't seen each other in person for a few months. They recommended we meet at a restaurant we frequented in the past and indulge in appetizers. I asked them why are we planning to meet in a restaurant? That would be like asking recovering alcoholics to meet in a bar for sodas. We need to stop the cycle of using food as a social event. We need to think of food as fuel for the body not as a diversion to socialize. They both are only out six months from WLS and they should rethink their relationship with food. In the end we met at the Botanical Gardens for a leisurely stroll among the flora.

I'm so glad that I had the experience of WLS and that I am able help others achieve better health with theirs. For me, I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me and I take it one day at a time. I stopped eating processed foods, eat mindfully and now instead of living to eat, I eat to live. Good health to everyone.

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Your post is very helpful for me. You are being such a good friend to the people on this journey. I have one friend that is particularly helpful to me. She is the one that started planning long walks when we get together. While we used to get together for coffee or wine and talk for a couple of hours, now we go for long walks with bottles of Water. We may stop at a view point and sit for 5 minutes, but then we are up again. I am so grateful to have a friend like that. My sister in law and I went for a bike ride this week instead of our usual sitting and drinking coffee. She is the one who does not like to sit around. I could sit for hours. Surrounding yourself with people like this: active, supportive and not obsessed with food is really helpful.

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Thank you for sharing your story here. This just reinforces my commitment to the lifestyle that I have adopted and plan to maintain forever.

The biggest change that I've taken on, not including the daily exercise, in regards to food is cutting out all the processed foods like you have, that is great. I thought it would be harder than it has been, but I am fortunate enough to have a background in culinary arts, so preparing fresh healthy food and constantly coming up with new ideas is fairly easy for me.

If I had to tell everyone considering this surgery and those who are in the process to have it done is; to not wait to change your lifestyle and not expect it to be easy after you do get the surgery. You still have to work and not cheat and it's incredibly hard, but it's so much easier with WLS to get a head-start and maintain once you do adopt the lifestyle.

It's very much a commitment to healthy living so take it seriously and make sure you have good support in your life, but more-so, don't have bad support, is probably a better way to say this. You can be lead down a bad path by people who are not empathetic to what you need. Oh, how many times I've had to bite my lip while friends or family are sitting there eating garbage food in front of me while I try to get out of the situation. So freakin' hard...

Thanks, Danny, for sharing this

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I wish my husband and I could do this together. He has some chronic health issues that cause him to lose weight to easily and has to eat a high calorie diet to maintain his weight. I also try to avoid processed food. My husband was the cook, so I had a pretty big learning curve learning to cook for myself. The downside is that every family event and get together revolves around my husband cooking or going out to eat. He really enjoys it and I think it has been a hard transition for him as well. I know because the last child just left for college and now our youngest dog is overweight. He feels horrible about it. She is on a diet now and taking extra walks with me.

I think he shows people (and dogs) that he loves them by feeding them.

Edited by okayestmom
Autocorrect sucks

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Ahh. Its nice that he enjoys cooking. Maybe he will get inspired to begin cooking some healthy food choices for you. You are soooooooooo close to your goal! Wow!

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
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