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2 hours ago, Jonsie27 said:

I'm also not planning on compromising on some of this. "That's just the way society works" ..... are not good enough.

But the thing is ... that is how society is. You're not going to change society. IMO, you should strive to accept it. You don't have to like it, or even be ok wth it, but is is futile to be angry about something you cannot affect.

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When I lost weight before I was down to a 18 and I looked really good ! People were complicating me and I felt good !! My now ex husband never made a comment or statement 🙄 This is my 3rd time going for the surgery ! I think the first 2 were because every dr said I needed it ! I have Epilepsy with uncontrollable seizures and the last 2 times my seizures stopped my surgery! This time I want it for me and for making me happy and healthy!! The sad thing is yes I’m really fat and people are judging me from that ! If I was skinny I would be noticed more ! Society is not fair but life only happens once and I had a crappy 25 years and I want the next chapter to be wonderful!!!!

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You know what I though was crazy, when I did my mental evaluation, the lady says:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

I thought that was just crazy. Why would you say that? And no I'm not getting interviews left and right, even though I have an incredible amount of experience. It's been hard to find a job over the last 3 months- I was let go when I went out for bypass conversion. Out of no where. Over 270 applications, maybe 15-20 interview. 3 offers. I have an interview Thursday and I'm praying it happens, I'm dying to get back in a clinical setting .

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6 hours ago, Mj77803 said:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

This sex life thing didn't happen to me as well, lol.

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On 6/7/2019 at 9:29 PM, Jonsie27 said:

I'm 1 year 2 months post op and have lost 115lbs which is awesome. I have more energy and can do more things with my daughter, I'm in clothing sizes I have never worn! I should be the happiest I've ever been, but I have a mindset I feel is holding me back. This may seem ungrateful, but I'm ANGRY I'm treated differently now that I've lost weight. It's like I was invisible (or worse- gross) when I weighed 286 but now people notice me just because of what I look like and it PISSES ME OFF.I was all the things that make me ME before I lost weight and now it's like a revelation that I'm worthwhile somehow. All of this positive feedback would have been awesome when my self-esteem was in the toilet from being depressed and overweight.

-My husband wants to tell me I look cute and wants to have more sex - and my 1st thought is why didn't you do this before?

-People who wouldn't give me the time of day at work tell me my ideas are great - and I think, they were good before, why didn't you speak up then?

-My family tells me nice things about myself and my clothes - I cant stop thinking about how I could have used this support BEFORE.

Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do to move past this? Should I see a therapist? I don't want to be ungrateful...

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

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1 hour ago, Chardonnay40 said:

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

I have the same issues with getting interviews and I'm almost 2 years post sleeve and 100lbs lighter. It's crazy. I have 2 interviews tomorrow so I guess I'll see how that goes.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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