Has anyone kept your surgery a secret? I am pre-op and at this point, I don't want to have to explain WHY to everyone. I am also scared of being judged every time I eat in a social setting. What if I fail and have a regain, I can only imagine the judgment there. If you had it to do over again, would you tell people about the surgery, or not?

I only told my immediate family (husband, daughter, mother and one close friend.). I’ve lost almost 90 pounds and people obviously notice but I don’t think it’s any of their business. I credit healthy eating and running.

On 6/15/2019 at 2:58 AM, Frustr8 said:

@DianaP I looked up on your profile where you l7ve. I wanted to see where you lived, with such a nice group of other moms, because it doesn't seem the norm here. I will be hop8ng to hear more good things from you as your own surgery time comes and then you start your New Future! The best of everything for you and your family, at least your side. I married into such a family myself! One of their statements that still bugs me and I've known these people , most of them 50by3ars and over " So and so is so pretty in the face!" always wanted to ask : Is the REST of that person's body chopped chickenbl8ger? And. they had a habit 9fcsaying this when they knew the person in question was withinbear shot And then that aunt would say ( with fake repentance) Oh my, did you hear that? Of course SHE heard, you have a Voice as loud as a Foghorn! AAND A FEW TIMES I HAD to hold and console the child or young adult 5heir words had wounded#

I don't know if it's the "norm" here (San Jose, CA), but I found my community at MOPS (Mother Of PreSchoolers, kids ages 0-5), which is an international organization, so there may be one near you! Obviously each group is different, but I really highly recommend it if you're looking for something.

Re: family saying ignorant/hurtful things: my in-laws told my husband when we were engaged that I was too big for him (they are all genetically very slender) and that he'd never be happy with me. That was when I was 100 lbs lighter than I am now. So yeah, not going to trust them with this journey of mine. My husband (married 11 years) is absolutely wonderful, and loves and enjoys me at any weight.

And a Big Thumb-up?for HIM, he is obviously the" Best of Breed" in the In Law Family. My late husband's family their pet phrase was " _____is so pretty in the face" like the rest of their body was a big black trash bag and not to be thought of.. Always bummed me out, I was close to 200 when I married into that family, got to a high of 365+ but after 9 months I'm back down below 200, they cannot see ME now because I outlived THEM ALL!✌?

Hi all! New to this group...a little less than 2 years post-sleeve. I chose NOT to tell my closest friends and family. My husband, and VERY few friends know. For many of the above reasons. My personal policy has become this: I don't "volunteer" the information. IF I'm directly asked, I'll usually answer honestly. My experience is that most people don't know or even care to know about surgical treatment. Those who ask usually either have looked into it for themselves or know someone who has. And yes, I could be a support and/or resource for them. But it really isn't most people's business, and they don't need to know! So I keep it to myself, and seek support HERE and places like this[emoji873]

 Ive kept mine a secret except for close relatives(mother, father,grandmother, sister, brother, one aunt, and one cousin) and two friends because it’s no one else’s business. My dr told me everyone relapses at some point and may gain some weight back but to not focus on failing but instead realize how far you’ve come and just get right back up on that horse and keep going. I do worry about the scars if someone sees them and asks what they are from. I’m about two months and three weeks out(had gastric bypass on March 27th) I’ve lost about 95lbs total (46lbs before surgery) I didn’t worry about people questioning me loosing weight so fast because I have two or three friends and I don’t really “hang out” or really even see many people I am a home body so for all anyone knows I could’ve been loosing weight for a year or so?. I don’t go out I work from home and workout at home lol. Don’t worry about being judged while eatingout. When we go out all I can think of is how I’m a cheap date now ? went to Taco Bell got a side of retried Beans and cheese for 90 cents and it lasted me three meals ?