By July I will be 20lbs from goal weight and I live not too far from many beaches. I haven’t set foot on one in 25 years unless it was at dusk looking for sea glass covered from head to toe..the dreaded hunt for swimwear is daunting.. i might be smaller than I have been in years but everything is jiggly and or veiny and I KNOW no matter what beach cover up it will look sa- wrong....I shouldn’t obsess but I am.. why oh why did I not do my surgery In my 30s when there was hope to do it all up..went out to dinner with hubby this weekend and it took 2 hours of throwing things on the floor to find anything descent and I ended up covering it all up again... I just have to stop with my unrealistic expectations but it’s hard. I want to like what I see.. I’m sad ?

Edited June 3, 20197 yr by Carrot64

By July I will be 20lbs from goal weight and I live not too far from many beaches. I haven’t set foot on one in 25 years unless it was at dusk looking for sea glass covered from head to toe..the dreaded hunt for swimwear is daunting.. i might be smaller than I have been in years but everything is jiggly and or veiny and I KNOW no matter what beach cover up it will look sa- wrong....I shouldn’t obsess but I am.. why oh why did I not do my surgery In my 30s when there was hope to do it all up..went out to dinner with hubby this weekend and it took 2 hours of throwing things on the floor to find anything descent and I ended up covering it all up again... I just have to stop with my unrealistic expectations but it’s hard. I want to like what I see.. I’m sad [emoji22]

I don't have any words of wisdom for you... just know that you aren't alone in these feelings. Sending ((hugs))!

No you sure aren't, my casual clothes are ones I have inherited from my son, I go around with fishing and Jimmy Buffet logos at the age of 73. He has started gaining some of the weight I am losing, says when I go for my August appointment he is asking for an application form, our PCP keeps stamping "Morbid Obesity" in on his appointment summary papers, and has for quite a while. that and the fact that his BMI,is nearly 38 and,mine has gone to 31, his ego is "cruising toward a bruising", he has one definate" co- morb" and another,possible secondary and,he feels like his weight is starting to spiral out of control. Told him first he might be able to get a VSG instead of the Full bypass but since he too has GERD, and that is neither of the morbs I alluded to at the beginning he too may be like Mama. Between him and Dr Needleman my surgeon, and his choice, not mine!. Sure I can hold the door open for him but he has to step through and do his own talking. Mama can't fix THIS ONE!

1 hour ago, Carrot64 said:

By July I will be 20lbs from goal weight and I live not too far from many beaches. I haven’t set foot on one in 25 years unless it was at dusk looking for sea glass covered from head to toe..the dreaded hunt for swimwear is daunting.. i might be smaller than I have been in years but everything is jiggly and or veiny and I KNOW no matter what beach cover up it will look sa- wrong....I shouldn’t obsess but I am.. why oh why did I not do my surgery In my 30s when there was hope to do it all up..went out to dinner with hubby this weekend and it took 2 hours of throwing things on the floor to find anything descent and I ended up covering it all up again... I just have to stop with my unrealistic expectations but it’s hard. I want to like what I see.. I’m sad ?

I hear ya, I often lament the state of my upper arms. But you know what helps? Tighter clothes. Keeps everything in nicely. Leggings and fitted tops are my new best friends.

As far as swim suits go, I plan on wearing some skin tight rash guards come vacation time this summer...

Oh, I feel this one so hard, @Carrot64. I'm about to buy my first swimsuit since I was 28! But I have realized that life is too short and I'm tired of it passing me by. I am going to spend Labor Day at a fancy beach house and I don't care if I'm still a bit flabby and flat chested. I want to live my life, and not sit on the sidelines like I did for 20 years! Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. I bet you look great and more importantly FEEL great. Get out there and enjoy yourself! *hugs*

1 hour ago, thatch said:

Oh, I feel this one so hard, @Carrot64. I'm about to buy my first swimsuit since I was 28! But I have realized that life is too short and I'm tired of it passing me by. I am going to spend Labor Day at a fancy beach house and I don't care if I'm still a bit flabby and flat chested. I want to live my life, and not sit on the sidelines like I did for 20 years! Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. I bet you look great and more importantly FEEL great. Get out there and enjoy yourself! *hugs*

I know .. I don’t want to sit on the side lines either.. I have to Love my self flaws and all.. I was always all or nothing kind of gal and I need a new mindset.. thanks love!

4 hours ago, Carrot64 said:

By July I will be 20lbs from goal weight and I live not too far from many beaches. I haven’t set foot on one in 25 years unless it was at dusk looking for sea glass covered from head to toe..the dreaded hunt for swimwear is daunting.. i might be smaller than I have been in years but everything is jiggly and or veiny and I KNOW no matter what beach cover up it will look sa- wrong....I shouldn’t obsess but I am.. why oh why did I not do my surgery In my 30s when there was hope to do it all up..went out to dinner with hubby this weekend and it took 2 hours of throwing things on the floor to find anything descent and I ended up covering it all up again... I just have to stop with my unrealistic expectations but it’s hard. I want to like what I see.. I’m sad ?

I hope you can enjoy the beach and feel comfortable in your own skin. Realize that there will be other body types on the beach. Many people share insecurities in the summer. In a perfect world. body image issues would disappear with surgery. ?

I found a swimsuit with underwire and a short sarong helped. It’s frustrating but try many on to find a flattering one that you can feel comfortable in.

I hope you can enjoy the beach and not worry about what you look like. You probably look just fine. And you're there for your enjoyment, not for everyone else to look at and judge. Try not to worry about what other people think.