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Advice for people taking care of you



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Posted (edited)

Hello!

I am a young adult with the surgery date of june 5th. Does anyone have advice for parents or other family members to be set up to support you or take care of you right after the surgery? My family keeps asking me how they should prepare but I'm not sure what the to them.

Edited by glowly123

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,They should realize this is very important to you, be proud you have raised such a responsible individual, that's something many parents hope to do. There will be moments when you can cheer how adult they are, others when the fearful son or daughter will emerge again. This is a rite of passage, as many others are, the main difference major surgery is involved. But listen to their fears, reassure them you will be there emotionally as you always have been, and love, lots of love, even if it's stroking their hair. Everybody on Gods Green Earth deserves to be loved and 💘 in return. And that is the fundamental message in this all!

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The number one thing I see people complaining of is the issue of your family still needing to eat when you can't. Make sure they know you are likely to get hangry, and - if at all possible - it would be helpful they could refrain from eating trigger foods in front of you. Its really hard to smell pizza in the house and know that you can't eat it. But you also have to know that this is a choice you are making and not them, you can't tell them not to eat certain things just because you can't.

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I guess just make sure they have stocked the fridge for you with healthy foods that you can eat. Right after surgery it'll be liquids so you'll need lots of different types of things to drink, Protein Shakes, sugar-free popsicles, sugar-free pudding. Also, ask them not to eat foods that will make you feel bad while you're recovering, like ice cream, pizza, or junk food. Trigger foods. It's hard enough to do without seeing family members eating.

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All of the above is great advice. I’d also prepare them for the hormonal ups and downs that may occur in the first few weeks. My husband had been through three pregnancies with me so understood it for what it was. I’ve read that it is totally normal as our fat cells release stored estrogen. It sounds like you have a very understanding and supportive family 😎

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2 hours ago, KCgirl061 said:

The number one thing I see people complaining of is the issue of your family still needing to eat when you can't. Make sure they know you are likely to get hangry, and - if at all possible - it would be helpful they could refrain from eating trigger foods in front of you. Its really hard to smell pizza in the house and know that you can't eat it. But you also have to know that this is a choice you are making and not them, you can't tell them not to eat certain things just because you can't.

First, I need to say the obligatory "Everyone handles things differently" phrase. For some, the the presence of unsuitable foods causes anxiety and it helps a lot when these triggers are not around. For others, not so much.

The handful of people who knew I had surgery would at first constantly try not to "tempt" me by not eating in front me, suggesting we pass on going out for dinner or to parties, etc. I made sure to let them know that while I appreciate their efforts (like @KCgirl061 said above), I had this surgery, not them, and it's up to me to adjust my habits/behaviours and not them.

I *think* maybe because I didn't hide the food nor avoid food situations I became used to being around it early on and it just didn't bother me when I was ready to eat real food again. Maybe.

With my little schpeel over, what your fam can help you with is maybe help you in and out of chairs or bed and reach for things on high shelves for the first week. And provide you company when you go for your walks. And if you can covince someone to do it, get them to wash your hair (totally indulgent and completely unnecessary, but soooo awesome regardless 😉).

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Just make sure you have the right things for you to eat/drink right after surgery. I think the best thing that they can do for you is to let you take care of yourself. I did, and I think it was the best thing for me. I had to get my own Water, Jello, let my dog out, etc. I think that got me up and healed faster than laying around would have.

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I was on a lot of pain meds. My daughter crushed and measured my meds for the middle of the night.

Also, she made her dad food for the first month and I paid her. It was a godsend not having to worry about it.

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Just make sure you have Protein Shakes and Water. There’s not much else unless they want to clean for you or do laundry.

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