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Not telling, not even my spouse?

Has anyone ever had WLS and not told ANYONE, not even your spouse? My spouse is VERY unsupportive and has NEVER had a weight issue. He thinks I'm crazy and I'm pretty sure he'd tell people even if I'd beg him not to :(

I feel very alone with this problem. Has anyone else had it?

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  • I can understand not telling friends, family and co-workers about your surgery, but I don't see how you can conceal it from your spouse. Do you really want him to find out after the fact, when you're

  • I cant imagine keeping a secret of that magnitude from my husband. Your spouse is supposed to be your person , the one that you share things with, that has your back, that looks out for you etc W

  • Get a new husband. Its 2019, no time for unsupportive and disrespectful spouses. Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

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I can understand not telling friends, family and co-workers about your surgery, but I don't see how you can conceal it from your spouse. Do you really want him to find out after the fact, when you're on your post-op diet and are dealing with all the usual post-op recovery issues??? It's not like he wont see the incisions on your body. How will that conversation go when he finds out after the fact?? The fact is, if your husband is not supportive to the point you feel you have to conceal this from him, you need to consider whether you should be staying in this marriage. This is not a healthy situation.

I cant imagine keeping a secret of that magnitude from my husband. Your spouse is supposed to be your person , the one that you share things with, that has your back, that looks out for you etc

Who is going to be taking you to and from hospital? Who is going to be your emergency contact? What is you have some unexpected side effects and have to stay in hospital longer than planned.

Imagine how betrayed he will feel if he only finds out afterwards. You wouldn’t want to be going through that kind of stress whilst trying to recover

Get a new husband. Its 2019, no time for unsupportive and disrespectful spouses.

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

that sounds terrible. I agree, you can't keep it from your spouse. I think it's in your best interest to work on your marriage. you married him for a reason, i assume. I assume you love him and he loves you. i think that you should get that worked out before you go through a life change like this.. He will notice....

I sure hope you find the support you need.

At first, I didn’t tell anyone but my husband. Found that wasn’t enough support. I needed the support others could provide.

He would tell people??? Sounds like the problem is your husband, not the surgery

I’m getting my lapband out after 10 years and getting bypass. I didn’t tell anyone the first time around and it was awful. I learned when I did let people in they were all very supportive, this time around I’m not going to lie to myself or anyone else close to me. Might separate those who love me from those who do t but living with the secret is something I refuse to do again. I promise it’s better to tell your truth.

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