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I met my fiancé at work. Pre-surgery I was too shy to talk to anyone, he just thought I was a young stuck up office girl LOL. Post surgery I had my co-worker give him my number. Turns out I'm 10+ years older than he thought I was (which was a good thing) and he is a really great guy. We dated for a year and a half and he proposed in Aug while we were in Alaska.

I never really dated much, or talked to guys. I think that there was potential out there, I just closed myself off to it. I mingled with a lot of people that became friends doing things I enjoyed, volunteering for a dog rescue, hiking, biking, kayaking, just getting out there. You never know who you could meet! I am very happy I have my guy though, I figured I was going to be that crazy 90 yr old lady on the corner that never married and had 50 pit bulls LOL (not a cat person ha ha)

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On 10/03/2018 at 01:10, GreenTealael said:





Chose from a lot of offers a guy who was great, met for coffee so it was low pressure. Amazing conversation, had a ton in common, great chemistry, asked me on a second date (dinner) next night. I agreed, I'm super excited thinking this wasn't what I expected, not horrible like I imagined. By all counts an amazing first date. I get a text an hour later we exchange pleasantries about the date and each other then he drops the ax:




He has herpes.




Dating profile deleted.




F this, I'm not built for this new world. Take me back to the days of arranged marriages.


Well at least he told you!

You will encounter some strange on online dating sites. My mom tells me horror stories. I don’t recall it being that bad, but I haven’t been single in 7 years or so... and according to her things have changed!

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7 hours ago, insta_adventurer said:

Well at least he told you!

You will encounter some strange on online dating sites. My mom tells me horror stories. I don’t recall it being that bad, but I haven’t been single in 7 years or so... and according to her things have changed!

I can tell you that I started online dated when I moved to NC (about 16 years ago) I stopped 3 years ago when I met my BF. In that time between ... to say things have changed is an understatement. I'm happy I'm not there now.

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7 hours ago, insta_adventurer said:

Well at least he told you!

You will encounter some strange on online dating sites. My mom tells me horror stories. I don’t recall it being that bad, but I haven’t been single in 7 years or so... and according to her things have changed!

18 minutes ago, MargoCL said:

I can tell you that I started online dated when I moved to NC (about 16 years ago) I stopped 3 years ago when I met my BF. In that time between ... to say things have changed is an understatement. I'm happy I'm not there now.

I agree! Exactly why I deleted my profile. He was honorable enough to tell me, the next guy probably not ... I don't need to play Russian roulette... I don't take unnecessary risks in real life, won't start with online dating (yes I require blood work before sex IDC I have too much responsibility/going for me to risk it in bed- no judgement on anyone else)

Edited by GreenTealael

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I'm going to stick to meet ups and real life activities. At least with the meet ups groups in my area none are specifically for dating so I'm just doing things that I like with people who feel the same way. I get to access someone (if there is a someone lol) over long periods of time, this feels natural.

Thanks everyone. I will updated if anything good / interesting happens!

Edited by GreenTealael

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Chose from a lot of offers a guy who was great, met for coffee so it was low pressure. Amazing conversation, had a ton in common, great chemistry, asked me on a second date (dinner) next night. I agreed, I'm super excited thinking this wasn't what I expected, not horrible like I imagined. By all counts an amazing first date. I get a text an hour later we exchange pleasantries about the date and each other then he drops the ax:
He has herpes.
Dating profile deleted.
F this, I'm not built for this new world. Take me back to the days of arranged marriages.
Ouch!!!

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 10/03/2018 at 09:11, GreenTealael said:





I have no problem with confidence , never did or meeting people, I just don't stay interested long these day. Im just too busy , focused and refuse to deal with bs so I'd rather be single. This isn't a new thing or a weight (weight loss) thing either.




Lol and I'm definitely not kissing everyone out there because now I believe they all have herpes




😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑


I am the same way. I get so bored so quickly. And idk what’s wrong with these men out here that think Netflix and chilling is a date

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14 minutes ago, BadWolf523 said:
On 10/3/2018 at 9:11 AM, GreenTealael said:




I have no problem with confidence , never did or meeting people, I just don't stay interested long these day. Im just too busy , focused and refuse to deal with bs so I'd rather be single. This isn't a new thing or a weight (weight loss) thing either.


Lol and I'm definitely not kissing everyone out there because now I believe they all have herpes


😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

I am the same way. I get so bored so quickly. And idk what’s wrong with these men out here that think Netflix and chilling is a date

IDK but I'm not going for it ...

To be fair, he seemed like quality, just for someone else...

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well maybe soon you will find Mr Top-of-the Line and the losers will stay lost!

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I am the same way. I get so bored so quickly. And idk what’s wrong with these men out here that think Netflix and chilling is a date
Netflix and chill is not that bad, considering the price of all these vitamins.. hahahaha

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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15 hours ago, Robv375 said:

Netflix and chill is not that bad, considering the price of all these vitamins.. hahahaha

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

LOL, then I officially want a date to Whole Foods... We're going to the juice bar...lol

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25 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Doing a Meetup!!! No dating but still fun!

That counts!

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Just be careful out there. If I were to think of dating again, I’d have an online search app that told me a little about their past before I’d meet a stranger

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On 10/3/2018 at 12:50 PM, Harsha said:

I met my fiancé at work. Pre-surgery I was too shy to talk to anyone, he just thought I was a young stuck up office girl LOL. Post surgery I had my co-worker give him my number. Turns out I'm 10+ years older than he thought I was (which was a good thing) and he is a really great guy. We dated for a year and a half and he proposed in Aug while we were in Alaska.

I never really dated much, or talked to guys. I think that there was potential out there, I just closed myself off to it. I mingled with a lot of people that became friends doing things I enjoyed, volunteering for a dog rescue, hiking, biking, kayaking, just getting out there. You never know who you could meet! I am very happy I have my guy though, I figured I was going to be that crazy 90 yr old lady on the corner that never married and had 50 pit bulls LOL (not a cat person ha ha)

You are so blessed, CONGRATS!!!!

Edited by GreenTealael

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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