Hey everyone! Hope you guys are all doing well with your weight loss journeys! So I began mine this February, July will be the last of my 6 months of doctor visits, then I’ll FINALLY be able to schedule surgery. I CAN’T WAIT! I’m also turning 29 this October and have decided that I would like to put myself back on the dating market after taking a break from all that. I’m obviously going to be meeting guys that are going to be attracted to the way I look now, but what happens when my look changes?

My question is, how do you guys approach telling someone about your surgery? Do I tell everyone I go on more than 1 date with? Do I wait until after surgery to tell someone? If I’m just casually seeing someone around the time I’m scheduled for surgery should I end it and resume afterwards?

Dating already sucks so much for everyone, but I feel like this is just an added layer of awkwardness. Are there any other young adults currently on the dating market who are either pre or post op? How did you/are you handling the whole surgery topic?

-Awkward AF from Michigan ??‍♀️-

IMHO don't bother telling anyone medical info that's not important (unlike STD statuses which most people like to know upfront and before sexual interaction) unless a relationship is forming. It's definitely a conversation for later in the game like when they are trustworthy or you are comfortable doing it, don't feel pressured into it.

Edited June 22, 20188 yr by Tealael

I'm trying to figure that out myself.

When I had surgery I was exclusively dating someone. So I told him only when surgery was scheduled. I really didn't want to open up any conversations about my weight, so I never brought up I was wanting surgery.. But since I was seeing him regularly and communicating daily, I didn't feel like it would be right to keep something major a secret.

Now I'm back to dating again. I feel like I'm going to have to say something pretty early on in the dating process. Most dates revolve around eating or drinking. I'm not currently drinking, so that's out. And eating is awkward because my stomach capacity is so small. It won't take too many nearly untouched meals until something is asked. I figure at that point I'll just be honest, assuming this is someone I want to keep seeing. I don't want to lie, and withholding info is counterproductive during the dating process. I mean if roles were reversed, I'd appreciate the truth.

I’m wondering how to go about this too. I’m only 22 and haven’t been with anyone for like 3 years now. i think it also depends what your sexuality is. for some reason, i am much more shy and insecure when it comes to guys i’m attracted to, but girls that i’m attracted to, i can be confident and myself. It’s a weird place to be at because so much of modern dating is advertising yourself and that’s hard to do. for instance, my tinder bio reads
“22, interior architecture & design // live music // feminist

ill be hot in a year so give me a chance”

mean? maybe... but if you know me, self deprecating humor is my go to “coping” or ~preventative~ mechanism. and i’ve only had one person message me and ask what that’s supposed to mean. most of the people messaging me don’t acknowledge it, though i’m sure it would be different if i actually talked and went on dates with some of these people. it usually doesn’t go further than tinder messages because i’m just shy and insecure. which i need to get over but it’s hard to do! i know if someone is taking the time to “like” me back and message me, it’s genuine, but that 12 year old voice can’t get out of my head saying “it’s a joke they’re just gonna show their friends your pictures and laugh and call you names!!”