I have no friends in real life. I was so embarrassed about my weight that I shut people out.

Now I find myself, hesitantly, seeking out others who might understand me.

I'm hoping this is the first step to feeling better about myself and loving myself.

To punish myself for being fat, I wear the same green dress every day, everywhere.

I call it my FAT UNIFORM. I hope to retire my uniform on the day of my bypass

surgery on 13 June 2018. My dietitian has offered to covert it into a blanket for her

dog's bed. She insisted that symbolically I needed to discard my uniform because

of what it represents/ed.

Edited June 4, 20188 yr by Missouri-Lee's Summit
wrong verb tense

My Family's Mantra,on that subject
If it don't pay rent, kick,it out!
And my mother's side of my gnarled family tree
Far better to kick it out
And bear the shame
Than to hold it in
And bear the,pain!
But MLS it is is a very human condition, and flatulence can be interpeted as your gastric system waking,up from its surgical slumber.❤Sending a hug, if you don't need it now, put it in your pocket, you never know when it might come in handy!

LOL you are a riot @Missouri-Lee's Summit Wise idea to leave the complaint until you are stronger. I loved that in Mexicali they encouraged you to have a surgery companion and there was a sofa for them to sleep on in your room.

Do you have in a drain in one of your incisions? They had a drain in the main incision where they pulled out the stomach and removed it on day 3 after surgery.

I have never been so gassy in my life! Farts and burps are a part of my new normal so I am right there with ya

@BajanSleeve You asked about my insurance coverage. I refer to most of my insurance company's pre-surgical requirements as their "fat-shaming" requirements. What other elective procedures require a trip to a shrink? Are knee or hip replacements patients asked to meet with a psychologist? What about breast enhancement surgery or having one's tubes tied? Yes, I see some merit in finding out if one has the mettle to handle all the lifestyle changes involved following a bypass or sleeve, but I doubt if one visit is enough to truly assess this. I don't know if more women than men have weight loss surgeries, but it feels like another set of patronizing roadblocks to shame women who are fat. I just had to get that out. Perhaps there are those among us who disagree. For me, when an insurance company imposes a separate co-pay of $2,500 on this particular surgery but not on other types of elective surgeries, I feel singled out. I also had to pay the customary $350 because this was a one-night inpatient procedure. (And what a glorious unmanaged pain nightmare that was!)

7 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

@BajanSleeve You asked about my insurance coverage. I refer to most of my insurance company's pre-surgical requirements as their "fat-shaming" requirements. What other elective procedures require a trip to a shrink? Are knee or hip replacements patients asked to meet with a psychologist? What about breast enhancement surgery or having one's tubes tied? Yes, I see some merit in finding out if one has the mettle to handle all the lifestyle changes involved following a bypass or sleeve, but I doubt if one visit is enough to truly assess this. I don't know if more women than men have weight loss surgeries, but it feels like another set of patronizing roadblocks to shame women who are fat. I just had to get that out. Perhaps there are those among us who disagree. For me, when an insurance company imposes a separate co-pay of $2,500 on this particular surgery but not on other types of elective surgeries, I feel singled out. I also had to pay the customary $350 because this was a one-night inpatient procedure. (And what a glorious unmanaged pain nightmare that was!)

I agree that one meeting with a psychologist isn't likely to produce any true benefit, more like a rubber stamp. My insurance required a minimum of 3 visits, and more if the therapist wasn't ready to sign off on you. I honestly didn't feel that, in my case, there was any fat-shaming. Most other elective surgeries are "magic wand" procedures. You don't have to follow a forever lifestyle change for them to work. WLS is different. Clearly from some of the posts in these forums, some folks could have used a lot more time in preparation for such a major change. Just my 2 cents worth.

I am so weak. Water, peach jell-O, out of broth. I can't think. I don't know what to do. I made a mistake about starting my protein too early, so that's out. Where am I supposed to get energy? I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of getting too weak to function. Help. How do I fix this?

2 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

I am so weak. Water, peach jell-O, out of broth. I can't think. I don't know what to do. I made a mistake about starting my Protein too early, so that's out. Where am I supposed to get energy? I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of getting too weak to function. Help. How do I fix this?

What do you mean that you started protein too early? Are you still supposed to be on clear liquids?

Drink some diluted apple juice or diluted grape juice asap. Unfortunately I went through the same thing on the liquid only phase - zero energy. But the diluted juice helps

You should order some electrolytes to put in your water or juice asap as well. I ordered off of Amazon but ask your daughter to get some for you. When you are dehydrated you get lethargy and exhaustion. At this early stage post op the rehydration tablets really help and keep BP stable. My BP really dropped and the doctor told me to use them

I used nunn hydrating tablets. You can search amazon and order to your door or daughter can get you some equivalent

Edited June 18, 20188 yr by BajanSleeve

Doing better hydrating myself. It was just a matter of finding something that actually tasted good. That something is called WTRMLNWTR (Watermelon Water). It's 12 fl oz of clear, cold-pressed juiced watermelon with no water added or pulp. 550mg potassium, 95mg lycopene, 60% Vit C, 4% iron, 2% calcium, 4% Vit A, 8% magnesium, 1g protein. I found it in the refrigerator aisle at Target. A tad pricey.

I also got some white grape juice and more bone broth.

Edited June 18, 20188 yr by Missouri-Lee's Summit

@BajanSleeve I think I've bonded to you like one parakeet to another. Every time I post, you reply. You have such a kind face, too.

You live in Barbados? Kindly fill me in.

How extensive was your bruising? Believe it or not, I was discharged without anyone looking at my surgery site. The doctor didn't even meet with me after my surgery the next day. I think they just wanted my self-advocate hiney out of there. The whole thing still seems surreal. I can live with a hospital stay that lacked compassion and customized pain management as long as the surgery was successful.

I know exactly how you feel. I have no friends in real life and my family don’t know about my decision for wls so I have 0 people to talk about it to. I also find every group or online community I join I just don’t seem to fit in to the cliques. I can chat to one or two people but I never fit in with the groups. It feels like these days everyone either has friends and doesn’t need or want anymore or everyone is too busy to want to dedicate any time to it. I’m single too so I don’t have any partner to talk about it to. I’m completely alone on this but I’m always happy to chat to people.

On ‎06‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 8:25 AM, Orchids&Dragons said:

Clearly from some of the posts in these forums, some folks could have used a lot more time in preparation for such a major change. Just my 2 cents worth.

I agree 100%. As much as my pre testing sucked due to the distance, I'm glad I had it. I probably could have used a lot more sessions with my NUT as well.

3 hours ago, MissFish said:

I know exactly how you feel. I have no friends in real life and my family don’t know about my decision for wls so I have 0 people to talk about it to. I also find every group or online community I join I just don’t seem to fit in to the cliques. I can chat to one or two people but I never fit in with the groups. It feels like these days everyone either has friends and doesn’t need or want anymore or everyone is too busy to want to dedicate any time to it. I’m single too so I don’t have any partner to talk about it to. I’m completely alone on this but I’m always happy to chat to people.

Welcome, MissFish! This is a very supportive and friendly community. Just jump right in or ask questions. There are a lot of veterans here who are happy to help newbies!

6 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

Doing better hydrating myself. It was just a matter of finding something that actually tasted good. That something is called WTRMLNWTR (Watermelon Water). It's 12 fl oz of clear, cold-pressed juiced watermelon with no Water added or pulp. 550mg potassium, 95mg lycopene, 60% Vit C, 4% Iron, 2% Calcium, 4% Vit A, 8% magnesium, 1g Protein. I found it in the refrigerator aisle at Target. A tad pricey.

I also got some white grape juice and more bone broth.

I'm glad that you found something you could tolerate. This is the hardest part. It will get easier!

@Missouri-Lee's Summit Indeed it seems we have But what about electrolytes? Is your daughter going to bring you some? Those are important early post op. Just this morning I tested my blood pressure and its only 92/54 which is kinda low. So I pop an electrotype tablet in my water and it brings it up. I sent you a PM about keeping tabs on your BP readings. I have one of those wrist BP meters and they work really well. The weak feeling can sometimes be linked to low BP.

I did not have bruising by my incision sites. I have 5 incisions and they are all healing up nicely but it takes longer for them to heal on me from diabetes. I also broke the rules and used antibiotic powder on them to help them heal. The creams are not good on them because they keep them wet but the powder is what has really helped them heal. I also left them uncovered after 6 days. Do you have bruises???

I am just so shocked that in the big ole US of A the health care provided to you was so piss poor The doctors in Mexicali came to see me every day I was in the hospital and one of the doctors personally took out my drain and checked my incisions the day I left. I really cant stop singing their praises at the kind and attentive care I received there. Don't you have a drain in your largest incision?? Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to make sure you heal right. Can your daughter source antibiotic powder for you? Try and let the incisions air out after about 6 days too but don't shower with them open until the 2nd week.

I was born in Barbados. My mother was born and raised here and my father was born in the UK, moved to Jamaica when he was 2 and moved to Barbados when he was 17 where they met. They married but split up when I was 2 and dad moved to Toronto. I'll PM you the rest. But for the most part I am a Caribbean girl all the way

5 hours ago, MissFish said:

I know exactly how you feel. I have no friends in real life and my family don’t know about my decision for wls so I have 0 people to talk about it to. I also find every group or online community I join I just don’t seem to fit in to the cliques. I can chat to one or two people but I never fit in with the groups. It feels like these days everyone either has friends and doesn’t need or want anymore or everyone is too busy to want to dedicate any time to it. I’m single too so I don’t have any partner to talk about it to. I’m completely alone on this but I’m always happy to chat to people.

Miss Fish, welcome to this forum. Have you tried doing a google search or even a Facebook search to see if there are any local Bariatric or WLS support groups that meet in your area? Online forums are great but really and truly face to face groups are ideal. Also, have you ever tried going to therapy? Honestly I am a huge advocate of therapy having gone through it at various stages in my life. They will help you get to the root of your challenges and confront some of the reasons why you have used food as a comfort and crutch. Its important to deal with that because even after WLS those drivers are still going to be there. My pastors have also done great counselling with me over the years that have really helped me heal and pushed me to grow to the next level. By any chance do you go to church, synagogue, etc.?

Hopefully you will find a place to express yourself on this website and get some encouragement along the way. Hugs from Barbados