Anxious - Lonely - No Friends to Support My Journey

[Frustr8 7,886]

And :-P.S. I still take my shoes off, maybe I always will! A LOL and headshake that I still have this silly habit. Used to be, pre-surgery, I had so much trouble even getting a pound or 2 off. Hoping,i get to the point where I can say " Oh is THAT what I weigh?"I really want to feel that degree of self- assurance!

[Carrot64 214]

On 6/4/2018 at 6:31 PM, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

Sosewsue61 asked me to write something about myself.

In no particular order of importance: I have a free-flying aviary with 20 uncaged parakeets. I keep their area clean and full of stimulating amusements. I enjoy their unconditional companionship. My newest additions are five weeks old, raised from blind and naked to happy and healthy. At four weeks, a parakeet is fully-feathered and ready to fly... and mine did.

I'm married and have four adult children. My daughter is a doctor of pharmacy, and two of my sons are medical doctors (not bariatric surgeons, though!). My youngest son -- the "smart one"-- is pursuing a non-medical career. I have a medical background, too, but my actual occupation is one I can't mention because then it would be easy to figure out my identity. It's strange... but when I wrote in my topic headline about having no friends, I meant face-to-face friends. I have fans all over the world, but they know me ONLY based on my public persona. Because of past scary-creepy stalking behavior, it's no longer safe or a good idea for me to open myself up to my fans directly. It really is possible to be known by thousands of people, and still be horribly lonely.

I only have one parakeet ( little Jerry Garcia) he’s green and smart and my little buddy... we all have a lot more in common than not, welcome!

[Frustr8 7,886]

Well I have two cats, Squeaky and Cassie, each with their owni purr-son-ality. And there its also my son, my best support systems my biggest fan, on here I call him Tomkitten. I have a dayghtercwho lives 1/6th of a mile from here, speaks o only to me when she wants something or to impress me with how sick, miserable, and needful she is. Her code name is R,D. for Rotten Daughter, told Tomkitten since we saw her about a week agol at Wal-Mart

[Frustr8 7,886]

I won't hear again from her until the Month has an R in it. Sad isn't it? I was an Only child, even my cousins are dieing off, the ones remaini 's are not close enough to share my journey with. My in- laws, parents, husband. and middle child are all dead. parents and in laws lived into their 80s, my husband was 70 at death inv2012 and my son was 31 when he died in 2008, an unknown ascending aortic aneurysm, thought it an a terrible act of nature, nothing we could protect against, now I found out in FebruarybI also have an aortic aneurysm, farther down into my chest, at this pointv still stable, but ME, someone who would have given her life to save his, my genes may have been the instrument of his destruction. TALK ABOUT HEAVY SURVIVOR GUILT!
But I like to believe He would be very proud of me, the Weight loss I have achieved, and that somehow on some level he knows and is cheering me on. And I am ambivilent, 1/2 wants so badly to be a success to honor,him, and the otherv1/2 wishes I could have died to be with him sooner. If, as I was taught from mini-Frustr8hood that there is Heaven I can hope to see him again someday. And,the days when Precious Pouch doesn't want to join the GanePlan of Successful RNYhood and makes me vomit once again I try my best to take comfort there.💦

[allies journey 144]

Oh hon I’ll be your friend want my number we can text I want all the friends

Me too,I am Allie in SC.
Message me any time. 803 665 0931.Would love to be friends.
I am waiting for approval from my insurance companies for the RNY revision surgery from the sleeve.
Getting tired of waiting. I know that it's going to be approved but because GERD is soooooo much worse than before the sleeve I'm absolutely miserable.
Anyway glad you reached out to us and look forward to seeing your progress.
Allie

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[allies journey 144]

Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (impregnated at 12),
I managed to overcome many buried years of trauma. I keep telling
myself that I can do this, too.
It feels good to have power now, particularly after having a long history
of it being denied to me. Those pedophilic bastards!
I'm encouraged by the kind words of support so far. I hope at some
time soon (in this forum) I will be able to be more a giver-of-support and
less of a taker-of-support. For now, though, I will allow myself the guilty pleasure of
"receiving" until I can reciprocate, in a genuine way, all of the kindness offered me.

We all need tips,encouragement and just an outlet to vent with ppl that are going through the same process that we are.
Your not being a taker you're accepting the friendship, kindness and carrying of an amazing community of which you are a part of now.
You've been through hell and back and we are your new support group.
It's easier to accept tips and help sometimes from people you're not familiar with because you don't have to worry about being judged or expected to do anything other than what you can do.
Good luck with your journey and your surgery.
Allie [emoji3]

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Missouri-Lee's Summit 1,256]

I'm approaching my one-year anniversary since my bypass. My life has changed drastically. I have more energy than I every imagined possible. I wear actual clothes (L or XL), and not fat-lady uniforms from the 4X plus-size section.

I still have some body dysphoria. It's often hard not to see myself as still FAT. Others instantly see a different person, but I have a harder time. My face is lean, and no longer pasty and puffy. I do have batwings, which are a constant reminder of what was once a much fuller arm. Skin hangs in folds around my legs and thighs. I'm okay with the skin, actually. I've always dressed modestly and I prefer long dresses. The trick is to stop wearing overly baggy clothing and wear instead clothing that is a little more body contouring.

All in all, it has been an amazing journey and I would encourage anyone thinking about this procedure to SERIOUSLY consider it. It has changed my life for the better.

I'm no longer the lonely, depressed person I was when I started this post. People CAN change, and I'm one of those people now.

[Missouri-Lee's Summit 1,256]

I finally replaced what I now realize was an unrealistic goal weight. I don't know why I chose 130lbs but it no longer seems right for me. I've given birth four times and have lots of loose skin that I did not have when I was a young, thin thing. My surgeon and I agreed that 150 is more realistic and attainable. I see my surgeon in August. I think those last 30lbs might be my hardest but I'm not going to stress myself out over them. All in all, the pounds have just fallen from me with very little effort. My hair is still thin and I'm practically flat-chested now. I'm okay with it. I'd rather be flat-chested than one of those big inflated parade floats.

[Frustr8 7,886]

I guess Dolly Parton has trouble swimming, poor thing keeps floating upright! Wouldn't like her problem but I would like to have her$ money!