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Anxious - Lonely - No Friends to Support My Journey



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On 06/04/2018 at 17:31, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:



Sosewsue61 asked me to write something about myself.




In no particular order of importance: I have a free-flying aviary with 20 uncaged parakeets. I keep their area clean and full of stimulating amusements. I enjoy their unconditional companionship. My newest additions are five weeks old, raised from blind and naked to happy and healthy. At four weeks, a parakeet is fully-feathered and ready to fly... and mine did.




I'm married and have four adult children. My daughter is a doctor of pharmacy, and two of my sons are medical doctors (not bariatric surgeons, though!). My youngest son -- the "smart one"-- is pursuing a non-medical career. I have a medical background, too, but my actual occupation is one I can't mention because then it would be easy to figure out my identity. It's strange... but when I wrote in my topic headline about having no friends, I meant face-to-face friends. I have fans all over the world, but they know me ONLY based on my public persona. Because of past scary-creepy stalking behavior, it's no longer safe or a good idea for me to open myself up to my fans directly. It really is possible to be known by thousands of people, and still be horribly lonely.


Loneliness doesn’t discriminate. I’m glad you’ve found a forum that you can be anonymous and get the support you need. Everyone here supports you. Best of luck! Don’t be a stranger.
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I'm starting my 1-week pre-op liquid diet on Wednesday, June 6, 2018. I am so ready. I've stocked up on various Protein replacement powders. My favorite is vanilla goat's whey that I mix with soy or coconut (unsweetened) milk. I have been eating less and less leading up to today, so I feel prepared. I haven't had much of an appetite anyway --mostly because of the summer heat. My daughter, the pharmacist, also suggested that I combine my goat's whey with another Protein Powder that contains digestive enzymes and various Vitamins. She also explained to me that so-called bariatric vitamins are really just a marketing thing. What's important is the bioavailability of the Vitamin source. Centrum® vitamins, for example, are often referred to as "bedpan bullets" (by nurses mainly) because they run right through most of their patients without being absorbed. What a waste of money, too. Knowing what I'm up against with my upcoming malabsorption challenges -- not just Iron or certain B vitamins but also some medications -- makes me eager to keep myself up-to-date on how best to nourish myself.

By the way, very little research has been done concerning the possible malabsorption of many medications. Yes, extended-release meds, and meds that have receptors in the duodenum and jejunum are a problem, but little is known about most meds. Certain antibiotics are no longer effective, such as azithromycin, but the list of known meds that gastric bypass patients might have issues with is short.

After completing all of my -- what I refer to as my insurance company's -- "fat-shaming requirements", my surgery was authorized in less than a week. The insurance company says that it typically takes 4-6 weeks, conservatively, for authorization, but my case seemed to be fast-tracked. I think it was because I was a squeaky wheel. I contacted an advocate who was not affiliated with my insurance company, and he helped me circumvent various gatekeepers who were erroneously giving out misinformation to potential bariatric candidates. (Apparently, the insurance company had mixed up my plan with another plan that had no bariatric benefits). My former self might have given up after being told that I had no benefits, but because I knew better I kept pursuing the matter. The advocate thanked me for bringing this mix-up to the surface so it could be corrected. That made me feel really good to know that I helped myself and potentially others. I still wonder if anyone who inquired about their bariatric coverage before me gave up after being rejected initially.

It feels good to be my own self-advocate now. The power! The power!

Sorry for rambling. Sometimes it helps to vent. I also hope I didn't come across as a preachy know-it-all. Because of my kids' and my own medical background, I sometimes have a hard time filtering myself... and we all know annoying people who can't curb their info flow. Again, sorry.

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Why are some of the words in my post now capitalized and underlined? What's up with that?

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5 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

Why are some of the words in my post now capitalized and underlined? What's up with that?

They auto-link it to the shop :)

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Posted (edited)

@Missouri-Lee's Summit So glad that things are working out right for you. You do have to be your own advocate for your health.

I had actually asked about absorption of prescriptions/supplements and was greeted with an absolutely blank stare. Now I know why. (Even though I have a sleeve, we still have the issue of tiny stomachs, so not much time for anything that needs stomach acid to break down.) What Vitamins does your daughter recommend? Or what do we look for? Those of us non-medical people are prime targets for the marketing ploys.

Edited by Orchids&Dragons
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I was wondering the same thing, What does your daughter say about what Vitamins are best absorbed?

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Hello! I see you are in Lees Summit. I like north of the river. I would love to be your surgery friend. My wife and I are having surgery on June 11. I am having the sleeve and she is having the bypass. I will inbox you my Facebook info. :-)
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@Amanda403 Thinking of you and your husband today-- the day of your surgeries with Dr. Nicole F. I've got two days to go myself before my own surgery.

The liquid diet has been a lot easier than I imagined. Giving up diet DP has been the hardest part.

Having mixed emotions about everything, but feeling like I now have a safe place to share my worries, woes, and future successes. I never imagined that a community like this would help me. It has. I'm immensely grateful for all the kind words so far, and look forward to repaying those kindnesses when I get further along in my journey. Thank you to all who have shared a word or two with me.

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6 minutes ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

@Amanda403 Thinking of you and your husband today-- the day of your surgeries with Dr. Nicole F. I've got two days to go myself before my own surgery.

The liquid diet has been a lot easier than I imagined. Giving up diet DP has been the hardest part.

Having mixed emotions about everything, but feeling like I now have a safe place to share my worries, woes, and future successes. I never imagined that a community like this would help me. It has. I'm immensely grateful for all the kind words so far, and look forward to repaying those kindnesses when I get further along in my journey. Thank you to all who have shared a word or two with me.

Best wishes to all 3 of you for successful surgeries this week and speedy recoveries!

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Posted (edited)

I'm curious about the co-morbidities of others here. Some may be relieved by bariatric surgery (C-Pap use, for example; pre-diabetes, etc.) while others will likely continue because they're hereditary or medication-induced. Here are a couple of mine:

1. Secondary Generalized Hyperhidrosis

https://www.sweathelp.org/pdf/drugs_2009.pdf

2. Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

https://www.thyroid.org/hashimotos-thyroiditis/

Edited by Missouri-Lee's Summit
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I was fortunate and really didn't have co-morbidities prior to surgery, although it was just a matter of time, imho. My knees are definitely happier, though.

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@Orchids&DragonsI've already had full knee replacements (in both knees, done three months apart) and my metatarsophalangeal joints or MTP joints in my big toes fused together. Osteoarthritis.

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How did others come up with their goal weight? Where did this number come from?

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3 minutes ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

How did others come up with their goal weight? Where did this number come from?

My surgeon and I discussed my goal weight in our first visit. There wasn't a real science behind what number we picked. I was an athlete in high school and he asked me the last time I felt fit and comfortable in my body. I said high school. I weighed approx. 180 lbs then. So we picked that for a first goal. Ideally i need to be closer to 150lbs to be in a healthy BMI range. I think everyone is different. Not everyone would look good in in the weight by the BMI chart. Some will look overweight, some will look under weight. I'd set my 1st goal as the 70% excess body weight, as this is typical for bypass patients. If you lose above and beyond that, its a gift.

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29 minutes ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

@Orchids&DragonsI've already had full knee replacements (in both knees, done three months apart) and my metatarsophalangeal joints or MTP joints in my big toes fused together. Osteoarthritis.

Ouch, that sounds awful.

I chose my goal weight because 1-I've been there before and 2-it's just inside the normal range for my height. Don't know if I'll get there, but I think I've got a good shot. I've got a lot less muscle now than I did then, plus I've lost a couple of organs along the way ;)

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      1. Missouri-Lee's Summit

        I've noticed your absence, and you've been missed. You were here for me when I first joined this forum, so I'm a bit attached to you as well as grateful for your kind support early on.

        I enjoyed hearing about your shopping experiences. I can relate to the plus-size woes. I'm not anywhere near being out of 3x-4x, but I'm living vicariously through you and your size 12/14 shopping for now! I wear dresses exclusively because I've always enjoyed their comfort, variety of style, and the way they make me feel (like a woman!). I can't remember the last time I wore pants of any kind. It might be nice to wear jeans again someday.:)

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        @KimTriesRNY Its such a good feeling, congrats to you as well!

        @Missouri-Lee's Summit I know, I've been so occupied lately, I like to be active on here, but sometimes time just gets away from me. I very much appreciate your kind words! Dresses are the best :) I will probably still wear a lot of them with tights, going into the winter. But it feels awesome to look good in jeans again. You will be there before you know it! I hit the 3 month mark and my body started changing at a rapid rate. I had lost a lot of weight in the first 3 months, but my body didn't seem to reflect it until then.

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        I'm glad everything is going well on your end. Family first, always and of course, but we do miss your presence here. Congrats on your clothes shopping! I recommend to not go overboard, since you are still losing and will probably be much smaller by the time it gets really cold.

        Way to go!

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        @macadamia thank you :) I am being careful not to buy too much, but my weight loss has slowed substantially. I'm not losing 10lbs-15lbs a month like I previously was. I'm lucky to get off 5lbs a month now. Not to say that I wouldn't lose a size after a couple months, but it's not as rapid. Plus I buy all my clothes from Marshalls and TJMaxx (who's return policy is practically forever), so if they don't fit when it gets time to wear them... then I'll return them for store credit to buy new stuff.

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