Hello everyone. I'm writing to ask for much needed help and advice. I'm a 41 year old female with 4 boys. I weigh about 202 pounds and I'm 5'5" which puts me at a BMI of just over 33. My story is sadly what most of you have been through--- dieted all my life, tried every type of diet--extreme diets, fad diets, you name it. I've been on phentermine for appetite control on the highest dose for more than 10 years, since a few months after I had my youngest son, it has no effect anymore but I'm terrified to stop taking it for fear of gaining even more weight. I've been to numerous weight loss doctors who have prescribed different prescription pills and not one of them was able to get me to a weight I could maintain for very long. I even went so far as to get a new procedure done called the endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty where they suture your stomach going in through the mouth without any incisions. It was an outpatient procedure, I was home the same day and I really thought this was the answer to my weight problem. It was the only procedure I qualified for because my BMI was too low for any invasive WLS and I don't have any comorbidities. Sadly, it has been three months now and I have only lost a mere 10 pounds total. I'm soooo depressed and angry with myself for spending so much $, ($10,000 to be exact-- self pay) for a procedure that only produced minimal weight loss. What is wrong with me? Why can't I lose this damn weight? I exercise 4-5 a week for over an hour each time, sometimes I do intense cardio and sometimes I take an intense gym class. Of course my eating habits could be better but I've gone through weeks of extreme dieting to only lose 5-10 pounds after killing myself. My attitude after another failed diet is always, why suffer when I never get results. My normal eating pattern is not horrible as I don't eat pasta, bread, rice, or sugar (I limit myself to only 30 grams of carbs a day). I have a green smoothie for breakfast everyday, a salad for lunch, and a sensible dinner without carbs. This wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't care about my appearance. I hate the way I look. I'm avoiding social outings because I believe I'm so hideous. I'm depressed and although I know my issues run deeper than my weight, I believe that a big part of my depression is my weight. I want a solution to this, once and for all which is what led me to this forum.

I have been researching getting a gastric sleeve done in Mexico and I think that I have finally decided on the right surgeon--- Dr. Ponce de Leon. He has agreed to perform it on me despite my previous endoscopic sleeve AND he believes he can do a single incision gastric sleeve as well which would be the best I could ask for. For those of you who are still kind enough to keep reading my long drawn out post, can you please help me to answer these questions:

1-- If you have used Dr. Ponce in Tijuana, Mexico please tell me about your experience with him. Is he as good as the reviews make him out to be? Is the fact that he doesn't speak English a big negative or does the translator suffice?

2- Is having gastric sleeve the answer to my weight problems? If there are any out there with a similar BMI and have had this WLS, what were your results?

3- Am I crazy to go to Mexico for this? I can't find a surgeon here who will touch me and I'm tired of false promises and wasting thousands without any meaningful weight loss. But is Mexico the way to go?

4- How do I convince my husband that this is the way to go? He thinks I don't need it and that Mexico is too risky and dangerous.

I would really like a candid and honest opinion from those who have had the experience. I'm scared of going and not achieving any meaningful weight loss yet again. This is my final hope as I think a bypass is too extreme and I'm not ready to reroute my organs, I am ready though to have a big chunk of one removed, lol. This may sound weird but I'm not afraid of the actual surgery and the pain and the "dangerous" Mexico scenario but I am terrified of failing once again.

Any help would be a godsend. Wishing those who have had the bravery and courage to do this, a continued successful journey!

2 hours ago, shedo82773 said:

Exactly!! Change is hard for anyone but...if you put your whole into something you can and will get there. The WLS did make me do it..You don't have much to say there. But as time moves on you will be able to eat more, and then YOU have to start making the right decsions of what to eat. I am by no means perfect and I do feel good about what I have done. Every day you will make the decisions to continue. As you have heard from many this is a TOOL, but we do the work. GRAB on and do yourself!!! Make the choices it will take. Good Luck and you are not alone in how you feel about yourself we all have pretty much the same thoughts. Keep coming here and take what you need from here and leave what you don't need!!

Thank you for that. Veterans like you are such an inspiration. I can’t tell you enough how amazing I think you are because of the fact that you are still posting and giving advice to people like me. You have had your WLS and have obviously been successful and are still on this forum giving great advice and encouragement.

The reason I started this thread was to get an honest perspective from those who have already been through the process. I wanted to figure out if this WLS would help me break the pattern of emotional eating or is that something I have to fix beforehand. Is really wanting to be healthy and thin enough to make this successful? I know I have to conquer my food demons. My real question is did you conquer them before your RNY or did your surgery give you the strength to conquer them? I’m worried this could be another failed attempt at losing weight and I can’t try another procedure or surgery. From what you posted, I should go into this with a strong attitude and resolve and that what will make me successful. I hope you’re right and I appreciate the encouragement. I’m working on the mental part before committing but I’m getting there. Thanks so much.

I can say that I struggled forever to lose my weight like I know for sure everyone does have their own demons to conquer but with WLS you become the "in CHARGE WOMAN" as long as you put the effort in you will be fine. To answer your questions I by no means had myself in control! But WLS helps to make you strong!! You will lose your weight quickly at first and you have what they call "THE HONEYMOON" time that you WILL lose weight. For me I was so afraid that if I didn't do the preop diet he would just cancel my surgery. Postop I was so scared to eat because I didn't want to hurt myself. So if you are commited and are ready for one crazy ride. CRAZY yes but oh so worth it. Life is to short to keep beating yourself up. You will find tWHAT YOU are really made of!! Hang tight and please let me know if there is anything that I can do. One thing I forgot to say, your taste will change so much, I eat the same thing until I can't stand it. I have my little food rituals as I call them. LOL And one thing that has helped me is..while I went thru everythng getting ready my Suregon and Nutrtionist both told me (now not all will be on board about this) they told me "THERE ARE NO FORBIDDEN FOODS!!! Just learn to eat in MODRATION!! For myself I didn't try rice or bread until I was 4 years out. So you will learn what works for you. Not everything is the same as everyone else.

Edited April 20, 20188 yr by shedo82773
more info.

That would be wonderful! Who is your surgeon in Mexico if you don’t mind me asking? Why did you feel your lap band wasn’t giving you good results? Was it because of poor restriction or minimal weight loss? I’ll be very interested in knowing how you do. I wish you success and an uneventful procedure. I hope to hear more about your procedure. Best of luck and keep us updated please.

I’m going to Jerusalem Hospital - Dr. Betancourt...

I just started liquids today! I’m already hungry! [emoji23]

On 4/20/2018 at 5:43 PM, shedo82773 said:

I can say that I struggled forever to lose my weight like I know for sure everyone does have their own demons to conquer but with WLS you become the "in CHARGE WOMAN" as long as you put the effort in you will be fine. To answer your questions I by no means had myself in control! But WLS helps to make you strong!! You will lose your weight quickly at first and you have what they call "THE HONEYMOON" time that you WILL lose weight. For me I was so afraid that if I didn't do the preop diet he would just cancel my surgery. Postop I was so scared to eat because I didn't want to hurt myself. So if you are commited and are ready for one crazy ride. CRAZY yes but oh so worth it. Life is to short to keep beating yourself up. You will find tWHAT YOU are really made of!! Hang tight and please let me know if there is anything that I can do. One thing I forgot to say, your taste will change so much, I eat the same thing until I can't stand it. I have my little food rituals as I call them. LOL And one thing that has helped me is..while I went thru everythng getting ready my Suregon and Nutrtionist both told me (now not all will be on board about this) they told me "THERE ARE NO FORBIDDEN FOODS!!! Just learn to eat in MODRATION!! For myself I didn't try rice or bread until I was 4 years out. So you will learn what works for you. Not everything is the same as everyone else.

I wish you continued success. Being this far out post op (like almost 5 years!) is definitely an accomplishment in my book. I hope I have the same resolve you did. Maybe the fear you had will kick in for me and literally scare me into not cheating or eating sliders. I just know that I need to get my head straight and I was hoping that the sleeve would whip me into shape. I'm feeling more encouraged now knowing that not everyone went into this completely ready. I am slowly but surely getting there though. Thanks for your support. Really means a lot to me.

I had vsg with Dr. Lopez-Corvala in May 2017. My BMI was 32. I had the same thoughts - would I really go to Mexico for surgery? Well I did and it was the best experience ever!! I chose Dr. Corvala because of his outstanding reputation and the fact that the surgery would be at a full scale hospital, not a surgery center. Dr. Corvala has excellent credentials and I highly recomnend him. My brother had vsg here in the U.S. and honestly, I got better care in Mexico. My brother spent one night in the hospital, I spent three (I checked in the night before surgery). Let me know if you have any questions I can answer.

Sent from my VS501 using BariatricPal mobile app

On 4/18/2018 at 12:33 PM, newlifeat41 said:

4- How do I convince my husband that this is the way to go? He thinks I don't need it and that Mexico is too risky and dangerous.

With a BMI as low as yours, I agree with your husband.

Extremely scary and life threatening complications can and do happen. People die. It's rare...and the surgery is pretty safe now...but it's still a permanent change to your anatomy and carries risk.

As with any surgery....you have to weigh....risk-vs-benefit.

For me, your BMI would not justify the risk.

You might feel differently about that......and that's cool.

We all pay our money and take our chances. In the end...what we do with our bodies is up to us alone.

Best wishes.

16 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

With a BMI as low as yours, I agree with your husband.

Extremely scary and life threatening complications can and do happen. People die. It's rare...and the surgery is pretty safe now...but it's still a permanent change to your anatomy and carries risk.

As with any surgery....you have to weigh....risk-vs-benefit.

For me, your BMI would not justify the risk.

You might feel differently about that......and that's cool.

We all pay our money and take our chances. In the end...what we do with our bodies is up to us alone.

Best wishes.

I would have agreed with you 10 years ago when I hadn’t tried every diet in the book to lose this weight. The weight continues to creep up on me year after year. I have tried medication which of course is not without side effects for no real long term results.

I truly do appreciate your advice and concern. You are absolutely right if I had not exhausted every other option to lose this weight. My late mother had diabetes, hbp, and degenerative heart disease all brought on by obesity. By the time she truly tried to make an effort to lose the weight it was so incredibly challenging for her. She didn’t care about how she looked but simply wanted to improve her health and save her life. She lived for 74 years but I can honestly say 10-15 of those years were spent with a very low quality of life. She could not do things that she truly loved to do like take long walks or even garden. Am I wrong for wanting to be proactive and possibly stop or at the very least delay these health conditions from coming on?

I know that plenty will think I’m crazy to consider it but despite the risks that come with surgery I believe they don’t even come close to outweighing the benefits I can gain from this. Please don’t get me wrong. I truly think you are extremely kind to voice concern and reservations over this but we’ve all been down this depressing road. I want to live the rest of my life to the fullest and not regret 5 years from now that I didn’t do this sooner.

Much love to you for giving me your honest opinion. Thanks for caring.

On 4/19/2018 at 8:20 PM, newlifeat41 said:

Thank you for that. Veterans like you are such an inspiration. I can’t tell you enough how amazing I think you are because of the fact that you are still posting and giving advice to people like me. You have had your WLS and have obviously been successful and are still on this forum giving great advice and encouragement.

The reason I started this thread was to get an honest perspective from those who have already been through the process. I wanted to figure out if this WLS would help me break the pattern of emotional eating or is that something I have to fix beforehand. Is really wanting to be healthy and thin enough to make this successful? I know I have to conquer my food demons. My real question is did you conquer them before your RNY or did your surgery give you the strength to conquer them? I’m worried this could be another failed attempt at losing weight and I can’t try another procedure or surgery. From what you posted, I should go into this with a strong attitude and resolve and that what will make me successful. I hope you’re right and I appreciate the encouragement. I’m working on the mental part before committing but I’m getting there. Thanks so much.

To your ? about our food demons before or after, for myself I worked real hard before but...the surgery gave me the means to continue on. WLS is an AWESOME and an AMAZING helper to give you that push to do it. All I can say is this is what helped me. As many others have said in our forum, it takes LOTS of work to be successful. Make up your mind and go for it. Just know YOU alone will have to decide what you want from your WLS. You can defintly out eat your new tummy. My hubby had a Sleeve done and he does have restriction but he can eat around it like crazy, My RNY is a little harder to eat around ( this is just me speaking) if you eat some wait and come back to it again. Become a grazer it can do you harm. I wish you all of the success you deserve. KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!!

3 hours ago, newlifeat41 said:

I know that plenty will think I’m crazy to consider it but despite the risks that come with surgery I believe they don’t even come close to outweighing the benefits I can gain from this.

I don't think you're crazy. People are individual. When we look at risk-vs-benefit...we'll see different things. And we have different comfort levels.

If this path is right for you....it's right for you. Only you know.

Best wishes on a safe effective outcome:)

Do your research and then show your husband. Get the medical backgrounds on the drs you are considering, check their credentials. I'm sure my husband would be willing to correspond with yours to answer any questions.

Sent from my VS501 using BariatricPal mobile app

5 hours ago, shedo82773 said:

To your ? about our food demons before or after, for myself I worked real hard before but...the surgery gave me the means to continue on. WLS is an AWESOME and an AMAZING helper to give you that push to do it. All I can say is this is what helped me. As many others have said in our forum, it takes LOTS of work to be successful. Make up your mind and go for it. Just know YOU alone will have to decide what you want from your WLS. You can defintly out eat your new tummy. My hubby had a Sleeve done and he does have restriction but he can eat around it like crazy, My RNY is a little harder to eat around ( this is just me speaking) if you eat some wait and come back to it again. Become a grazer it can do you harm. I wish you all of the success you deserve. KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!!

Thanks once more for the advice. You are absolutely on point with having to work toward my goal even with this surgery. After the months of research I am prepared with the knowledge that others who’ve had the surgery have given me. I know that initially it may be easier to lose b/c of restriction and not all feel it right away, so it may not be easy even at first. I know that as time goes on the restriction will be less and the hunger will come back. I know that I will still have to exercise and watch what I eat but I am hoping gain control over my bad eating habits. I’m hoping to initially see good results and that will keep me motivated to keep working harder. I’d love to finally be on the losing side giving others advice about how to get through this. Wish me luck as I proceed.

Many thanks and all my best to you.

4 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

I don't think you're crazy. People are individual. When we look at risk-vs-benefit...we'll see different things. And we have different comfort levels.

If this path is right for you....it's right for you. Only you know.

Best wishes on a safe effective outcome:)

Thanks. I know plenty who’ll say I am crazy which is why I’m keeping this surgery to myself. I’m only telling my husband and having a hard time getting up the courage to tell him! They don’t know how much it has affected me in so many ways. My confidence is so low. I can’t even look someone in the eyes when speaking to them b/c I feel so inadequate. I’m not sure if you felt like this preop. I feel depressed and hopeless. I do feel like this is my only solution but I do understand that it will take work on my part. I’m hoping that my desire to change myself will get me through the difficulties I know I will encounter. Reading all of your posts has made me feel so much more prepared for all the problems that could arise. I feel like I’m ready to do this. Now I just need to get my husband on board. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

3 hours ago, krosevf30 said:

Do your research and then show your husband. Get the medical backgrounds on the drs you are considering, check their credentials. I'm sure my husband would be willing to correspond with yours to answer any questions.

Sent from my VS501 using BariatricPal mobile app

Yes this was my plan. Thank you for adding that I should include their medical backgrounds. I have done research on these particular doctors, Dr. Ponce de Leon and Dr. Frayre for months. I’ve read posts about them and reviews. I have honestly been trying to find something negative about them but as far as I’ve read I can’t find any bad reviews. Their office answers right away and I’ve called four times already. I’ve spoken with Dr. Frayre twice and Dr. Ponce is known for his expertise in this field. Other docs in Mexico call on him when dealing with difficult cases.

I’m hoping all of this will be enough to convince him I’m in good hands. Thanks for the help. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

And I wish you only the beast of luck with all the decisions,you make.

On 5/6/2018 at 5:19 PM, Frustr8 said:

And I wish you only the beast of luck with all the decisions,you make.

Aww. That is just so incredibly sweet. Thank you. People like you and everyone who was kind enough to chime in and give their advice are the reason why I joined this forum. The support is amazing!!