This is a pure baby whine-but this is the only place I can do it. Do you ever feel jealous of those who have so much less weight to lose. I look around the site at people's tickers and I say to myself-If I were that person I would be at goal-when the reality is that after losing 98 pounds I am barely halfway there--I know its trite and I should be grateful but I have really been stuck on this lately. Any Wisdom?

Trystelle:

Congratulations on the 98# you've lost. I am one of those people with well over 100 pounds to shed. I know how you feel. We shouldn't feel jealous though, because it doesn't do any good. Concentrate on all of the success you've had so far and just keep that scale headed in the right direction.

Keep up the good work.

Sue

I have 189 to lose,going to be a long hard slog but i will get there

Mike

Focussing on what you haven't done yet isn't going to get you anywhere. There's no point whining because others have less to loose. If anything you should be happy that you're well on your way to goal. I have a long way to go, but I did it to myself (that's for sure).

-Leena

Ok, the whine fest is over, and you can pick yourself back up, dont worry what other's are doing, and take care of YOU!!!!!

We all have different issues, we all have different lifestyles, and are bodies are all different. So, we are all going to loose at a different rate.

I have been at the point where I go, wow....they only started at where I am heading tooo....BIG ISSUE FOR ME...

But.....I have to rally myself back up, and get on board and be accountable to only me.

I am amzed that you would be struggling becuase your ticker is quite amazing already.

We started about the same weight, and you are way farther ahead than me...

Keep up the good work......

This is a pure baby whine... Any Wisdom?

Hi trystelle,

First, great job on your success to date.

You are so brave to post your feelings out here.

I have stuff like this get to me once in a while. Just yesterday I was talking with my Aunt asking her what her size was because I was going to have clothes to gift soon (I hope). Just to find out that she is a size smaller than me anyway. I just never looked at my Aunt and thought I was bigger than she is. I had to process this and get through it because I can't get caught in a rutt. I got to thinking about it and this is one of those times that I go comparing myself to someone else. Somewhere along the way of the banding preparation and process it became very clear to me that I have only one person to compete with and that person is myself. I say compete, but it is really about doing myself one better...that is MY PERSONAL BEST. When I was analyzing my head about the feelings about my Aunt, I realized that I had set a goal of 50 lbs off by December of this year. That goal seemed reasonable and attainable at the time. To my pleasant surprise, I achieved that goal this week. Some how looking at what I have achieved in my own personal success, made the thoughts of negativity about my Aunt dissapate. My personal accomplishment far outweighed (no pun intended) the 15 minute issue I was currently obsessing on.

The morale of the story. Stay focused on what you have done and focused on bettering yourself. Each person is different and each bandsters journey is unique. Find happiness in your success. You know how hard this has been for you. Your progress is real and wonderful.

Consider the cheese that has been served with your whine. Remember the people out there that look at your success and envy where you are. Be happy with who you are and what you have accomplished. Your success is a wonderful achievement.

Thank you for your post, it helps me to realize that others have less than positive thoughts sometimes and that folks out here are always supportive in helping us get through it.

Happy banding,

MMT

I have 120-130lbs to lose and I have lost 60lbs in 5 months. I should be grateful, but man I feel like this has been 5 years not 5 months.

People tell me I look great and are astounded when I say that I need to lose 60+ more lbs. They don't get it, but I need to be at a "healthy" weight. I am scarred to death that I will plateau and never get to goal weight, but I keep eating healthy and exercising 2+hours 6 days a week in hopes it will all come off. I want to be one of the success stories that can say they lost 100% of their excess weight. Good luck everyone!

I also have at least 100 pounds to lose! It is great that we can share this experience together! Good Luck Everyone

352/316/190

Surgery/Current/Goal

I know this isn't going to make any sense and it certainly won't make you feel any better but I'm going to throw it out anyway.

You know, everything in life is a learning experience. Absolutely everything. That includes the journey to losing weight. You learn *so* much about yourself at every stage. The head stuff isn't necessarily easier close to, or at goal. It's just different head stuff.

It takes each stage to really get to know yourself in a whole new way. You will continue learning weird stuff about yourself to the very end. I suspect it will be such for a long time after goal as well.

In the end, it's the journey that makes it all worthwhile.

I know I know... you are still thinking you wish you were there anyway. I felt the same. I want to smack those that only had 50lbs to lose. And I am *at* goal and I still want to smack them. (Green, are you paying attention?!?!)

The journey is as necessary as anything else to KEEP the weight off.

It happens, you will get there. When you want something bad enough, you'll get it. You have no choice but to go through the motions and follow the journey so enjoy it. You'll likely learn more about yourself and others than most any other journey of your life so kick back, accept it, but more important, try to enjoy it.

Make lemonade out of lemons kinda thing.

If someone would have told me this a year ago I'd kick them for making up a line 'o crap that is a bunch of hooey. But it's true. Honest. (crossing heart)

when the reality is that after losing 98 pounds

I wish I was where you are...98 pounds lighter! You see everyone has a some one to look up to, or wish they could be. Right now I wish I could be you.

I am not worried I will put in my time, and I will get there too. Thank you for being my inspiration.

Trystelle,

I know exactly how you feel. When I first came to LBT, I spent most of my time on the Extraodrinary Bandsters thread because I felt "normal" there, where everyone had more like 200 or more to lose instead of the "average" 100 or 150 lbs found on the rest of the boards. I don't think I was so much jealous of those people, but it made me DEPRESSED about how long my own journey would be. That's one of the things that got me in so much trouble with my weight to begin with -- when I got to where I needed to lose 150 lbs, I thought it was SUCH a long road that I'd never make it, so why bother, and I gained another 70 lbs at that pity party.

Anyway, I do agree wholeheartedly with Wasa. This is a journey not a destination and I learned more about myself in losing 200+ than I would have with less. There is something different about having lived life at 350+ than there is having lived life at 250+ -- I know -- I've been at both places. It's now part of who I am and what my life experience is. Honestly, as hard as it has been, I'm not sure I'd trade it. I'm starting to like who I am, flaws and all.

Anyway, I'm not sure how responsive this post has been to your initial thoughts. Suffice it to say that I understand the jealousy and I think it's normal. Now that you're -98, you're already a major success and you know the path to goal. Hang in there.

Anyway, I do agree wholeheartedly with Wasa. This is a journey not a destination and I learned more about myself in losing 200+ than I would have with less. There is something different about having lived life at 350+ than there is having lived life at 250+ -- I know -- I've been at both places. It's now part of who I am and what my life experience is. Honestly, as hard as it has been, I'm not sure I'd trade it. I'm starting to like who I am, flaws and all.

I'd rather learn through the pooh than survive through the norms. It really does pay off in the end.

I can honestly and sincerely say today, it was all worth it.

I also have over 100 lb. to lose. I'm not the jealous type....we all have our own paths to follow. The people I want to smack are those like my size 3 best friend who whines that she's getting "fat" because she had to pull out her size 4 jeans every once in a while!! I know extra weight is uncomfortable for anyone, but the little tiny people who complain just kill me!

I guess her point might be that sometimes people who are marginally heavy want the surgery, those with a BMI of 30-35 with no co-morbidity.

I don't understand why a 5'5" person who is 180 wants the surgery with a BMI of 29. I was at the doctors office and here was this person whining about it when the doctor I guess told her he didn't think she was a candidate at this time for it. I didn't hear the conversation between them, but that was gist I got when she was complaining to someone on her cell phone.

I guess her point might be that sometimes people who are marginally heavy want the surgery, those with a BMI of 30-35 with no co-morbidity.

I do, I support banding for a 30+BMI. I'd rather see people get the surgery early before they *do* have comorbidities. We were all at a BMI of 30 once, wouldn't you have loved to prevent going up and up?

I'd rather see them get surgery now vs. waiting until it is so out of hand they are diabetic, have joint deterioration, etc.

The US is the only country that insists people are severely or morbidly obese until they will help them. Every other country will band with a 30BMI or more.

As always you guys are right. I have to be patient and go through my own unique experience. If I woke up tomorrow at 150 I would have some serious head issues to contend with and part of it is that I am mad at myself for letting my weight get so high. I love my band-it has changed more things in my life than my weight. Thanks so much for your support!