Do people that you known treat you different? How that makes you feel? Do strangers in general treat you different?

I'm not thin yet, but the improvement has inspired different reactions. Getting more smiles from men my age, more casual conversation, more attention.

On the one hand.....it's awfully nice to not be invisible anymore.

On the other hand.....it's kinda hard to take. Part of me is really irritated these same guys wouldn't have even made eye contact 60 pounds ago.

And of course...no one suspects a fat middle aged women. We could commit the perfect crimes because no one notices us or sees us. A part of me is sad to give up being able to commit the perfect crime:)

Definitely. And I was “only” on the low end of obese. Strangers meet my gaze more, smile more, and seem nicer. I am not skinny, not even quite down to normal weight but getting there.

it makes me sad to see first hand how fat people are not considered as worthy as lesser weight people. This is a truth, and I don’t like it. I don’t know what to do about it.

Yes. It's tough because I'm the same guy I was before...people talk to me now that wouldn't give me the time of day before. I don't like that but need to get over it!

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 228.8 GW = 220 (6'5")

Yeah, kind of. Especially strangers. Men, mainly older guys flirt with me and offer to help me with things when they didn't notice me before. If I'm out at clothing stores, I get help faster. I get told by random people I'm pretty.

I just find humor in all of it and don't let it get to me. People are shallow without even really realizing it. Lol

Hw-273
Sw-226
CW-138
GW-130
Size- 4 or 6, Small in sweats. Small in shirts. depends on how it's cut or made.
Bra Size- 36C

Surgery Date- April 26th, 2017
RNY
"Only those who try will become" FFX

Yeah... I'm definitely not skinny. Just a more socially acceptable level of obese but I'll throw my 2 cents in. I have lost over 100 pounds and can shop in regular sized stores now. I think people are nicer. You get better service in stores. You're less invisible (apparently the more space you take up, the less likely people are to notice you - it defies logic). They look you in the eyes, call you "sweetie". It's weird.

If I get closer to skinny, I suspect I'll notice more changes in how people treat me.

I hate fat shaming and this kind of discrimination. They say it's the last socially acceptable form of discrimination. The statistics prove that overweight/obese women earn far less than their thinner counterparts. It's really disheartening. I can't speak for men (I believe it is harder for women because we are more judged by our appearance) but as a woman, there are stereotypes you constantly have to overcome, that you're lazy or sloppy. That you don't care about your appearance. That you're asexual. Or worse, that you're the bubbly, fat funny chick!

I am not skinny but the way my body looks now gets me a lot of attention. People hold doors for me, give up seats on public transportation and they flirt with me. However, it makes me unhappy. The reason is, I wonder in the back of mind, would you had spoken to me when I was heavier. Or, would you date me if you saw my loose skin out of these clothes?

The hardest part of it all is getting use to the attention. When I was heavier, and I dated someone, it was like okay they like me for my personality. Now it is like, "do you like me because of how I look or is it my personality."

9 hours ago, Sleeve1stFitNext said:

I am not skinny but the way my body looks now gets me a lot of attention. People hold doors for me, give up seats on public transportation and they flirt with me. However, it makes me unhappy. The reason is, I wonder in the back of mind, would you had spoken to me when I was heavier. Or, would you date me if you saw my loose skin out of these clothes?

The hardest part of it all is getting use to the attention. When I was heavier, and I dated someone, it was like okay they like me for my personality. Now it is like, "do you like me because of how I look or is it my personality."

I'm too scared to ever date. I can't imagine having to eventually reveal loose skin. I'm just going to have to get comfortable with the thought of dying alone. Oh well, my dog is pretty awesome. Who needs a man?

10 hours ago, LaLaDee said:

I'm too scared to ever date. I can't imagine having to eventually reveal loose skin. I'm just going to have to get comfortable with the thought of dying alone. Oh well, my dog is pretty awesome. Who needs a man?

I date now. I just tend to stick with the type of guys I dated when I was heavier. I have a thing for geeks and awkward guys (I am a dork but I am an extrovert). I need balance.

I did date a gym rat as I started my journey to WLS. He was awesome at first but after the surgery and weight loss, he became more and more insecure and it just caused issues for me. I did not have the patience for it.

Do not be afraid to date. You have a goal and honestly, I have come to learn that many men find a female with goals, determination, and willpower more attractive than a female who has none (No matter how "skinny" she is). You will not die alone. You just have to take a risk. It's scary but when you do it once, you will have the confidence to do it again.

I come home to my Rasta Scoobs every day and technically, we do not need a man because pets love us unconditionally.

8 hours ago, Sleeve1stFitNext said:

I date now. I just tend to stick with the type of guys I dated when I was heavier. I have a thing for geeks and awkward guys (I am a dork but I am an extrovert). I need balance.

I did date a gym rat as I started my journey to WLS. He was awesome at first but after the surgery and weight loss, he became more and more insecure and it just caused issues for me. I did not have the patience for it.

Do not be afraid to date. You have a goal and honestly, I have come to learn that many men find a female with goals, determination, and willpower more attractive than a female who has none (No matter how "skinny" she is). You will not die alone. You just have to take a risk. It's scary but when you do it once, you will have the confidence to do it again.

I come home to my Rasta Scoobs every day and technically, we do not need a man because pets love us unconditionally.

Thanks sleeve1st. You’re so sweet! I wish I was as brave as you! Dating is so scary to me!

My story is a little different than what I've read. I'm 5'7" 300 lbs having RNY in two months. I've always been heavy and Ive noticed that I get less "interested" looks from men the heavier I get...that being said it hasnt stoped ME from flirting!![emoji16] Im direct and confident (sometimes I gotta fake it) and I can't say I've been ignored or looked down on because of my weight. Or perhaps if someone was rude I just chalked it up to that person being a jerk in general. The thing that drives me insane is people assuming that you have low self-esteem or are lonely (Im single) or unhappy, solely because of the weight. If I hear "you'd be happier if you lost a few pounds!" one more time my eyes will roll right out of my head. Being healthy makes me happy, thank you very much! [emoji14]

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yes, and it is still weird. And, comments about dramatic change can be, at times, a little much. But, it is also positive comments and feedback. Flattery is nice though!

Absolutely, yes.

I'm gay and became single and skinny (and yes, I'd describe myself as skinny now) at the same time. Re-entering the gay single/dating scene after nearly 9 years was daunting, but I tell you, I am having my 20s in my 40s. It is absolutely amazing, and would NEVER have happened before. (And I'm not talking about not happening at the 400 pound me; this wouldn't have happened at the 250 pound me, or maybe even the 200 pound me.)

Work wise (and there is another thread about this), I'm getting way more attention and accolades from across the company as well. That, too, is amazing.

It is sad, really, but it is a part of life. I'm happier than I have ever been as an adult. And that is part of my motivation to never gain a pound back and why I am a “protein addict,” a “documentarian,” a “size queen,” and a “stuck veteran” as was pointed out in another tacky thread...

Bitc*es bring on the treating me differently! I'm ready. I can handle it. I want to be a smokin' hot skinny bi*ch everyone wishes they knew! LOL. With my luck, though, by the time I arrive at my destination thin will be "out" and fat will be the new black.

29 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Bitc*es bring on the treating me differently! I'm ready. I can handle it. I want to be a smokin' hot skinny bi*ch everyone wishes they knew! LOL. With my luck, though, by the time I arrive at my destination thin will be "out" and fat will be the new black.

Yer sew FLUFFY! ?

I'm definitely not skinny, but I think men do treat me differently now. More of them seem to talk to me, smile at me, etc. I also get FB friend requests from rando guys on FB when I put my picture in my profile now. It's weird.

Women who know me seem to treat me about the same, but strangers are nicer. I think that's weird, too!