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Has anyone struggled with trying to change their eating habit & yet still be involved with family meal time?



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I'm on day 4 of the 10 day liquid pre op diet! I feel like I'm doing really well so far. I don't feel nearly as bad as I thought I would. But cravings are still pretty strong. I'm working on learning how to better control my cravings. My girlfriend & I had discussed & planned for the whole family to start eating healthier. Before I started the liquid diet we cleaned our house out of any junk food & I was really excited for the support! The first few days we had all of our meals together, it didnt bother me to have a Protein Shake instead of their home cooked meals. Day 3 of my liquid diet comes around & on our way home from running errands, she pulls into fast food drive thru for her & the kids. I get handed their meals to hold in the car while she drives. Then we get home & when they sit down to eat I went into the restroom because I felt like crying. I came out afterwards & made my shake for dinner. Well it started an argument, I guess its not fair of me to ask them to eat out without me around. My girlfriend thinks Im selfish to expect them not to eat out when we are having busy days. My only request is for me to not be around to witness it!! I dont think its a huge request. Now I feel bad as if I'm making life difficult for my family. I knew the changes would be hard. I can't expect my family to completely change, But I had just hoped for more understanding & support. Can anyone relate? How would you react? Any advice or tips are helpful.

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2 minutes ago, bignich said:

I'm on day 4 of the 10 day liquid pre op diet! I feel like I'm doing really well so far. I don't feel nearly as bad as I thought I would. But cravings are still pretty strong. I'm working on learning how to better control my cravings. My girlfriend & I had discussed & planned for the whole family to start eating healthier. Before I started the liquid diet we cleaned our house out of any junk food & I was really excited for the support! The first few days we had all of our meals together, it didnt bother me to have a Protein Shake instead of their home cooked meals. Day 3 of my liquid diet comes around & on our way home from running errands, she pulls into fast food drive thru for her & the kids. I get handed their meals to hold in the car while she drives. Then we get home & when they sit down to eat I went into the restroom because I felt like crying. I came out afterwards & made my shake for dinner. Well it started an argument, I guess its not fair of me to ask them to eat out without me around. My girlfriend thinks Im selfish to expect them not to eat out when we are having busy days. My only request is for me to not be around to witness it!! I dont think its a huge request. Now I feel bad as if I'm making life difficult for my family. I knew the changes would be hard. I can't expect my family to completely change, But I had just hoped for more understanding & support. Can anyone relate? How would you react? Any advice or tips are helpful.

Sent from my LGMS550 using BariatricPal mobile app

I’m single, so I don’t know your exact place, but of course you’re not going to expect kids to change their diets. I was on liquids over Christmas and I skipped my family celebration bc it mainly revolves around dinner. It’s super hard, and they don’t understand what you’re feeling. You may have to just go elsewhere while they’re eating, or have your gf pick up fast food on her own. Sorry this is going on. 😣

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I think your girlfriend could be more supportive.

I also have been there and done that...with little kids and hectic schedules. It's tough.

So, I understand both perspectives a little. That said....

I think you're being flexible...being ok with them eating junk as long as it's not around you. I don't think she's being reasonable expecting you to be around that kinda food....particularly on your pre-op diet....which is very difficult.

The way I see it...she can have it one of two ways....you all eat healthier together, or you have a pass to remove yourself when junk food is being consumed. To not allow you to remove yourself from your addiction...is unreasonable in my opinion.

And about the kid's diet......if they share your genetics...it's probably best that they don't get into the habit of eating crap. And even if they don't share your genetics....healthy eating habits are learned.

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So personally I don't think you are asking too much at all. When my mom and I went on a liquid diet to lose weight, it was hard because we were trying to make this HUGE lifestyle change while the other half of our family carried on as though it wasn't a big deal. Which, looking back, hindered the progress we made. Because if your family is not supporting you by still going to fast food restaurants while you are there and not empathizing with you and your struggle, what's to stop you from easing into old habits. That's not to say tell them to stop altogether, at least not at this point, but asking them to be more considerate and maybe let you know if they are going to a fast food place so you can opt out.

I've also been on the side where I wasn't dieting and my some in my family were. I made the accommodations because I loved them and wanted to support them on this journey to be the most successful they could be. If it meant not eating taco bell in front of them I gladly did it, because I stood by my support of them.

I think you should have a talk with her and just explain how you need to be supported to have the best possible success because maybe she doesn't see her actions as unsupportive. Also if the whole family is trying to eat healthier why is is she going to a fast food joint anyway. I think you guys should probably sit down and have the talk again so as to clear the air and pave the way for a healthier life.

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On 1/9/2018 at 11:10 PM, Creekimp13 said:

I think your girlfriend could be more supportive.

I also have been there and done that...with little kids and hectic schedules. It's tough.

So, I understand both perspectives a little. That said....

I think you're being flexible...being ok with them eating junk as long as it's not around you. I don't think she's being reasonable expecting you to be around that kinda food....particularly on your pre-op diet....which is very difficult.

The way I see it...she can have it one of two ways....you all eat healthier together, or you have a pass to remove yourself when junk food is being consumed. To not allow you to remove yourself from your addiction...is unreasonable in my opinion.

And about the kid's diet......if they share your genetics...it's probably best that they don't get into the habit of eating crap. And even if they don't share your genetics....healthy eating habits are learned.

Couldn't of said this better.

I do think she was being insensitive asking you to hold the food. I think she CAN make better choices for her and the kids. Even on tough days...if y'all made the commitment for everyone to eat healthier...then everyone should stick with it. Moms and dads buy the food and create policy for the family. Inconsistency can really mess with your authority as a parent. They will see you as wishy washy and will feel if they exert enough pressure, then they can make you do as they wish.

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