I have a husband and one pre teen daughter. She’s still on break until Jan 5, and both of them were planning on coming to hospital with me and sticking around until I’m in a room. Hospital already said she was allowed in pre op & post op areas. I just don’t want them to have to stick around all that time when they could be hitting up fun things in the city. Will I want them there pre op? What about post op? Should they just come back to the hospital when I’m settled into a room? My husband keeps insisting they are staying, but I’m like why sit around and be bored for hours on end?

At my hospital, hubby was with me in pre-surg. Daughter was at college doing finals....but was calling for updates every couple of hours.

After they took me to surgery, they gave him a pager and a there was a special surgical waiting room with a board that was updated with my progress (based on a number assigned to me...so info is private) The surgical waiting room nurse also took his cell phone number and said he could check with her for updates, and they could page him if he was needed.

Yes, it's a waste of a day.....but keep in mind....this is a major surgery. They're poking around right next to your spleen and some very serious blood vessels. If you have a hiatal hernia....you're talking about fixing the hole in your diaphragm. I don't want to be alarmist...cause risk is minimal....but it really is a pretty big deal. Also, family and friends will be calling and wanting updates, etc.

With the pager, your hubby and daughter can move freely around the hospital....go for a walk, go have a bite to eat, visit the gift shop, etc. if they're bored, wander around outside if weather allows....and still feel like they're there supporting you. They can bring board games, laptops, cards, books.

They likely won't be invited to hang out with you in recovery....but you'll move through recovery and get into a room and they can join you there. Once they know you're doing well....they might be able to relax and enjoy some attractions while checking in on you by phone.

My hubby damned near spent the night with me. The nurses were about to bring him a cot, but I convinced him to go home and let the dog out. LOL:) They worry. They're allowed.

Edited December 31, 20178 yr by Creekimp13

I was in the hospital for 2 days and nights after surgery. My wife was with me and slept on a recliner in the room. After the operation, I was up and walking every 2 hours around the clock. The first night this was difficult because I was all wired up with IVs and electronics and whenever I went for a walk, I had to drag all these around with me on a pole with wheels on the bottom. My wife gave me some stability in doing these walks. On the second day, they began to unhook me so things were easier. I was glad she was there. Even though you might say she was bored, she wanted to be there because this was major surgery. And she stayed by my side.

The support is nice especially pre-op. I could have cared less in recovery . I spent almost three days in so visitors were nice.

My wife stayed with me until they asked her to leave. I stayed one night. She would of stayed all night if she could. When my wife had an operation I wanted to be by her side as long as I could.

Most family members want to be with you at these times. Thank God for the support. Good luck on your WLS

My mom, dad, and boyfriend came with me pre-op just to see me off for surgery. Mom insisted spending the night with me, and I’m actually really glad she did. She helped me get around to walk and go to the bathroom, since doing anything with an IV is a hassle. I suggest having one person stay with you just for that reason. I think you’ll appreciate the support!

It's really, really nice to have the family support there to calm your nerves pre-op, and to advocate for you post-op. Studies have shown that people with family present post-op have more responsive nursing care. Sometimes your nurses will be very busy and you will really *appreciate* an advocate to help ask again for your requests! If they want to be with you, I'd go for it!

My husband has always been with me pre-op and stayed through my surgery for all of my surgical procedures. For my VSG he and my Mom were there pre-op and then once I was out of surgery they came to see me in my room. My hubby stayed most of the time but I had a roommate so he could not stay the night. I was in the hospital for 3 days/2 nights so he spent most of his time with me and his parents watched our kids who were 1 and 3 at the time.

My husband was with me until they wheeled me in for surgery, and they brought him in about 5 minutes after I woke after surgery. Surgery was only 45 minutes, so he sat in the waiting room less than an hour but was otherwise with me the whole time. I was outpatient, so we went home together shortly after surgery.

I think it is very much a personal decision for you. My dad came with me for mine (my mom died unexpectedly about 9 months before my surgery) as he wasn't comfortable with me being there alone. I sent him back to my place for the night though. I personally live at the hospital (I'm a physician) so I didn't feel the need to have "support" there and I'm good about making sure I get anything that I really need. The nurses got onto me for getting myself up and to bathroom, taking off and reapplying my SCD's, walking without help, etc but I honestly only felt bad for the first few hours and it was more from anesthesia.

I think it is very much a personal decision for you. My dad came with me for mine (my mom died unexpectedly about 9 months before my surgery) as he wasn't comfortable with me being there alone. I sent him back to my place for the night though. I personally live at the hospital (I'm a physician) so I didn't feel the need to have "support" there and I'm good about making sure I get anything that I really need. The nurses got onto me for getting myself up and to bathroom, taking off and reapplying my SCD's, walking without help, etc but I honestly only felt bad for the first few hours and it was more from anesthesia.

I actually sent them home. The staff here are very attentive and my husband looked so uncomfortable in the chair.