Need advice

[Tiffany Ramirez 4]

I am in the process of finding a doctor and I'm about to do my sleep study because my doctor thinks I have sleep apnea. I have been doing all this without my husband knowing so I could have info to bring to him before I dicuss it with him but I not the one to lie to my other half so I told him and now he says he doesn't want me to to it at all. I have been through stuff when I was younger and started to put on weight at 8 hoping the stuff would stop. Now I am 26 and weigh 350. I love my husband and want to be around for a long time and have a long happy life with him. I just don't know if I should go through with it if he doesn't want me to. He is scared about what could happen during surgery.

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[trulykendra 57]

I personally think to decide on having bariatric surgery should be a personal choice. I understand you want to make your husband happy. But this surgery is all about you and your health. I'm speaking from personal as experience when I decided on looking into to having this surgery I was doing it for me. My other half ask me was I doing it for them I said no. I need some changes in my life my weight up and down from from all the dieting I need a tool that will surely help me. Good luck to you

[Supernovae 34]

The surgery is safer than long term food addiction. Surgery with experienced doctors vs diabetes, heart disease, weakened/painful joint's and the many many other health risks that come with obesity. It's definitely worth it in the long run. Definitely make the decision on your own and ask for his support. Just because he doesn't want you to do it doesn't mean that's the right choice. Maybe you could find someone in your local area who has had the surgery and get them to sit down with you and him. Might help show him that it's not too scary and the benefits are awesome

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[GassyGurl 428]

Maybe you can have him go to your visits so he understands how deadly obesity can be, and how safe the surgery can be. Lack of understanding can cause a lot of fear. Plus, change is always difficult.

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[Tiffany Ramirez 4]

I understand not doing it for him this is for me. I haven't even started all the things they make you go through so I know I have time to make him see this will be better for me. My sister and my cousin aren't really on my side on the surgery so I need him on my side.

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[Tiffany Ramirez 4]

Maybe you can have him go to your visits so he understands how deadly obesity can be, and how safe the surgery can be. Lack of understanding can cause a lot of fear. Plus, change is always difficult.

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He is going to the first one with me so he can ask all the questions he has just hoping he will be OK with it just want him on board and support me

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[Supernovae 34]

I told my partner I was having it. Didn't ask for his opinion. I started by talking bout how it would benefit him. More confidence in his girlfriend, sex with easier positions, happier girlfriend, faster time to get ready when going out, nice booty for him to stare at. Just silly little things that made it seem more fun for him and less scary [emoji14]

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[kathlizzle 13]

My husband was not for it. I did it anyway and he supports me in my surgery recovery. Be confident in your choice and eventually he will have to join you or be left out of your remarkable journey.

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[Tiffany Ramirez 4]

Thanks guys we still have a long journey so hoping he sees the positive need him on board we are a team. It will affect both of us.

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[Introversion 1,876]

16 hours ago, Tiffany Ramirez said:

He is scared about what could happen during surgery.

Less than 1 percent of all people suffer complications during sleeve gastrectomy surgery. For context, that's about 1 out of every 100 people who have complications during surgery.

Your husband needs to be more scared about what will happen if you remain obese: increased risk of diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney failure, strokes, bilateral knee replacement due to arthritis, high cholesterol, cancer, and so on...all at a young age.

Look around you...how many elderly people are alive who are morbidly obese? Very few. If your husband loves you and wishes to grow old with you, then surgery is your best bet.

Good luck to you.

[kamjmm25 28]

My husband reacted the same way when I told him that I was going to start the process to get VSG surgery. I told him one day and he said flat out that he did not want me to have the surgery and he did not think it was a good idea. He never told me not to have the surgery he just told me how he felt. I started going to all of my appointments and I would tell him oh I have a Doctors appointment today or I am going in for this test. At first he never really said much when I would tell him about my appointments but as my surgery date has gotten closer he has come to accept that it is going to happen. He is just scared that something bad will happen during the surgery. I had him come to my pre op teaching class with me. I think that was a really good idea because the nurse goes over everything that will happen right before, during, and after the surgery including possible complications. After the class my husband was like wow she made it seem like no big deal lol. My husband will also be staying with me at the hospital. I think this journey has actually brought us closer. I wish you good luck on your own journey.

[losing2live4Him 33]

My husband (will be officially ex soon) was so against me having the bypass, he threatened to leave me! I had the surgery on June 16, 2017. He was gone when I got out of the hospital. I've done it all on my own...complications and all. But the surgery itself was worth every minute. I'm 7 weeks out, 60 pounds down (260 if you count my husband), and off ALL of my meds other than the ones I take for depression and anxiety!

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[jesslovesglitter 14]

Hey just wanted to say I'm 28 I'm 5'2 and my highest weight was 334. I was scared for my life when my husband said I stopped breathing at night and lips were turning blue. I did a sleep study and had severe sleep apnea. It was really hard and emotional to realize how my health was starting to fall. I discussed with my husband about sleeve surgery and he supported me 100%. I told him I wanted to live longer and not be scared anymore. Day of surgery he and I were all over the place lol nerves. Emotions. Everything. We did have the talk about what I wanted if anything bad were to happen during surgery. It's very hard to talk about that stuff and also dealing with major surgery. But, in the end it's your life. Your choice. No one knows I had it done except for my mom, dad, sister, his cousin, and hubby. I'm now 1 week after surgery and I'm down to 296. You can do this if you want it! Just talk it over with your husband:)

[MsRiseAndGrind 2]

I went through a similar experience. A lot of people don't understand the toll excess weight takes on you, both mentally and physically. I didn't have a good support system because nobody agreed with my decision to have surgery. The best approach is to try and explain why you decided on this journey. I found out that doing your research and educating those around you who don't understand, helps a lot. Not only does it give them the facts about bariatric surgery, but it shows them your commitment to a better and healthier lifestyle. This type of surgery isn't for other people, it is for you. It's so you can become healthier and feel better about yourself. I have learned that not everyone will agree with your choice, but those who love you will support you. Hope this helps. Good luck! xx

[fclenz 7]

My husband (will be officially ex soon) was so against me having the bypass, he threatened to leave me! I had the surgery on June 16, 2017. He was gone when I got out of the hospital. I've done it all on my own...complications and all. But the surgery itself was worth every minute. I'm 7 weeks out, 60 pounds down (260 if you count my husband), and off ALL of my meds other than the ones I take for depression and anxiety!

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So glad to hear that you're doing well!