It has been a really long day, followed by a dinner out with multiple margaritas, so I am ready post my first LBT Rants and Raves post.

I won't follow the herd anymore. Ever. I stopped doing that years ago when I realized that I made every decision based upon how I could make the most people happy (or prevent conflict). That's simply not healthy. And it takes all the fun out of life.

I hate absolutes. Absolutely hate them. I can't stand to lump a group of people together for any reason. All people at LBT are not sweet and perfect. All people at OH are not cheerleaders and ***** supporters. All Muslims are not extreme radicals. Not all of us Texas women are Southern Belles (ok so that one is debatable). All women are not subservient (ok I know you ladies agree with that one). We are all, quite simply, just people.

I don't want to be told I have to do something because it is the Christian thing to do. Are you my priest? My rabbi? My high priestess? Where do people get off on judging other people????? I don't freakin' get it. Each of us have own spirituality or lack of it. Each of us have our own moral core - although some are harder to identify than others. Don't attack me because I don't agree with you - hire a yes-man for that job - it doesn't pay enough for me to take it. And don't push your personal belief system off on me.

I like most people. Really I do. And I get along with most people. Some people just get to me, and I don't have to like them. There is no rule about that. There is only one person on my bad list at the moment, and if I ever get a personal apology that person will come off the list. You and I don't have to like the same people or have the same ideas to be friends. I prefer friends who are different from me. If I wanted everyone to be like me - well then I would become a hermit(ess) and just have ME for companionship.

I love our differences. I love the passion in which so many of us debate what we believe in. I just hate the herd mentality that says we all have to believe the same thing, or like the same people, or hate the same people....because ya know what? We don't. We are different. Our differences make us unique and teach us more about life than any book will.

And one more thing. I rarely drink and I really love Margaritas! :whoo:

As a completely impartial person on both boards, I would like to add the following. When I originally joined OH, everyone was up in arms saying things such as "we know this new person is Deelightful" and other garbage. My first thought was I'm 32 and they act younger than me. Not knocking anyone's age but that's what I thought. It doesn't take much common sense to know that the board was at war. You've built friendships over years and that's one thing. I was personally mislead by Sandy back in May after my surgery. I was personally contacted by her regarding Wendell. I'm not on either side. Right is right. Now Wendell may have disagreed with you all on different matters and sent pm's that weren't nice. At least it was in private and not on the board for newbies to see. Who cares if he eats candy all day? What idiots did you think were going to follow him against the advice of their nutritionist or surgeon? I am upset because you all never gave us newbies the credit of having common sense.

NOW I remember you! Yeah there was some paranoia going on for sure! And while I do spend a lot of time at OH, I always try to welcome newbies, and I am interested in what instructions they got from their docs. To me it is all about sharing experiences.

Regarding sock puppets...

One valid point OHer's do have is that when Dee left she came back daily with a new sock puppet. Everyone was questioning who it was. Every newbie was under suspicion at the time and during THAT time frame I understand. But me being a sock puppet is something that has always annoyed me because I have NEVER EVER done that on ANY fat board. Not once.

My writing style would give me away anyway. Words aren't my thing, never have been. I can't change my writing style if my life depended on it. The ones that do have sock puppets and several of them were never suspect. Me, the one who NEVER does that was accused left and right.

Not fair! :Banane30:

Well, in all fairness to me and many others, Bozo the clown, Satan himself, or Pickles my Bunny could make a statement about Sandy and quite a few would chime in.

She is really REALLY not liked over here by a great number of people.

Yep, we enjoy bitching about her. It relieves tension. And to be REALLY honest, most of the time, it's either WASa or myself that makes the first comment, not Wendell. Hell, I've got a thread that I started from either last year or very early this year, bitching about her, and I'm not sure Wendell ever chimed in on that one. So it really isn't Wendell making the first move on that. I made up my mind about Sandy LONG before the stuff between her and Wendell ever got started, or at least before it blew up.

I think every newbie there was accused of being someone else and it was usually me, Dee, or Wendell. Of the three of us there is only one that uses sock puppets. It's not me and it's not Wendell.

I mean for goodness sakes, LOOK at my posts. Is there *anything* I wouldn't say under this ID? Anything in the world? And under KabukiCoyote on OH is there anything in the world I wouldn't say under that ID? I'm pretty blunt and open, I have no use for a sock puppet. What the heck am I going to say under a sock puppet ID that I wouldn't say under my own? I could not have possibly come down harder on the cheerleaders at OH under Kabuki so the use for a socket puppet would be... what? I take full responsibility and credit for my own posts. I write them and I mean what I write.

The one thing I did find amusing over there had to do with the photo issue. I have never had a photo yet I was accused of having a photo and taking it down. Then I was accused of being a sock puppet because I have no photo. Yet Dee had a sock puppet and nobody realized it because she came up with a photo from the internet. If I would have used a fake photo found on line somewhere it would have not been an issue. But I choose to maintain internet privacy and therefore I'm not a real person.

There isn't a single fat photo of me anywhere on the internet and there never will be. That's just the way it is and it isn't going to change.

Who was Dee's sock puppet?

And unfortunately - I do have the fat pics on my OH profile. Gawd, I was GROSS at my son's wedding.

Wasa- I am another one who hates the thoughts of "fat pics" of me being all over the internet. I keep putting off posting them. I know it is inevitable though, if I want to post the after, then I have to have a before.

Nope, not me. People will believe me or they won't. Makes no difference to me. My doc wants one to show future patients.

Ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.

Honestly, the only fat photo I have is what I was explaining last night. The only fat photo is of me and my Dad the day before he died. It was the saddest time of my life and ... well, it shows. My Dad is in the photo dying.

My weird sister wanted final photos.

Sorry, I was being bitchy last night. Too little sleep and too much stress makes my mouth run.

No sorry needed. I have a really thick skin. People have never "gotten" me, because I refuse to grow up or follow the leader. I just wanna be me and that pisses people off sometimes.

Ever seen Bad Boys II? It's from that, supposedly a relaxation technique.

OHHHHHHHHHH!:faint:

chelle- I get the "wanting to be you" part and all that, but why do OH people jump all over people who go up against Sandy? I am not saying that you join in when they gang up but I am not saying that you do not ( I honestly don't remember). THAT is the part that I do not understand. Not getting involved at all is understandable, but getting involved on BEHALF of the liar is what I cannot understand.....

Who was Dee's sock puppet?

And unfortunately - I do have the fat pics on my OH profile. Gawd, I was GROSS at my son's wedding.

I don't remember her sock puppet, but I did post it at the time. The day I found out I posted it. I think she was claiming to be a nurse and she was buddying up with Sandy? She was getting married or a son was getting married, some such nonsense.

It was the day of or the day after I started the thread about the emergency unfill. Remember that time frame?

I can't do fat pics. Even if I had one worthy of posting I can't do it. I can't bring myself to post a photo today let alone from then.

Have you see the thread in "Life at or near Goal" forum? It's something like, "OMG, how crazy am I?" That explains a great deal.

Why would you or anyone else ASSume who my friends are? LaraNicole is a close personal friend of mine in real life. I don't think that I've admitted or denied anyone else. So don't jump to conclusions, my friend. Even that ONE person who is still on my bad list after all this time has not been called out as such by name.

And about that clique statement.... Even in high school I saw cliques, and was often ASSumed to be in several at a time. The snobs, the jocks, the party people and so forth. I ignored the comments then too, because I will hang with whoever can contribute to a stimulating conversation. Always have and always will.

I go to many different diversity group events at my work. So I have been asked things like "When did you come out?", "You don't look Hispanic (or Black or Asian", etc).... I'm just a married white straight mom of two grown boys who believes that I will enjoy life more, if I share it with the widest range of people possible. There is always something for me to learn. So does that make me cliquish?

Honestly, because on OH, you were always chiming in on the threads where Sandy's followers were gathering. Now, from what you've said recently, I'm sure you probably meant your posts to be funny and to relieve tension, but in times like that, people don't have a heck of a lot of humor. Plus, you've said yourself that you never saw fit to warn anyone about Sandy, even though you knew what she was doing. That, honestly, was enough for me to say that you were either her friend or her supporter, and it didn't matter which.

I'm all for sharing experiences. It's important that we know the ins and outs of our bands. I can't recall you being intentionally mean. I can recall LaraNicole and I called her out on it. She apologized and removed her posts. I think the main point is that if you don't say anything when folks are being attacked that you tend to be lumped in with the attackers. Like I've said before, I am an impartial person on both boards. I couldn't care less about what anyone does to their bodies. I think that's where people go wrong on OH.

Honestly, because on OH, you were always chiming in on the threads where Sandy's followers were gathering. Now, from what you've said recently, I'm sure you probably meant your posts to be funny and to relieve tension, but in times like that, people don't have a heck of a lot of humor. Plus, you've said yourself that you never saw fit to warn anyone about Sandy, even though you knew what she was doing. That, honestly, was enough for me to say that you were either her friend or her supporter, and it didn't matter which.

You are one stubborn young lady. Most times I chimed in on a post to turn the temperature down, by posting funny pics or being sarcastic or something. Life is too short to take so seriously! Ok, for ME it is too short, since I am ancient compared to you.

I only publicly warned people about advice, when the advice I saw was, IMHO, harmful. I have often sent PM's to advise people if they should check with their docs and not follow blindly to an avatar on a forum. So call me what you will, Lauren, it's ok.

I'm all for sharing experiences. It's important that we know the ins and outs of our bands. I can't recall you being intentionally mean. I can recall LaraNicole and I called her out on it. She apologized and removed her posts. I think the main point is that if you don't say anything when folks are being attacked that you tend to be lumped in with the attackers. Like I've said before, I am an impartial person on both boards. I couldn't care less about what anyone does to their bodies. I think that's where people go wrong on OH.

At least she apologized to you. I never got an apology from her. And if you couldn't tell by that statement, yes, I do hold grudges. I may not mention my grudge to someone's face, but I never forget what they did.

I'm all for sharing experiences. It's important that we know the ins and outs of our bands. I can't recall you being intentionally mean. I can recall LaraNicole and I called her out on it. She apologized and removed her posts. I think the main point is that if you don't say anything when folks are being attacked that you tend to be lumped in with the attackers. Like I've said before, I am an impartial person on both boards. I couldn't care less about what anyone does to their bodies. I think that's where people go wrong on OH.

I think you just came in to OH at a weird time. Statistically speaking, over time you will encounter the same percentage of a$$holes on any given forum. I love OH, hated the drawn-out drama times (fun in small doses), and I am learning to love LBT too. I pay one heck of a lot of money in insurance and co-pays for my health, so I will always trust the expert I am paying. But shared experiences often guide me to ask the right questions of those experts.

Oh and I do jump in when my close friends are attacked. LaraNicole is really a sweetheart, but she can be feisty. I had dinner with her last night, and she is doing great. I think she had an ultrasound today - I am so hoping that she can carry this baby to term.

You are one stubborn young lady. Most times I chimed in on a post to turn the temperature down, by posting funny pics or being sarcastic or something. Life is too short to take so seriously! Ok, for ME it is too short, since I am ancient compared to you.

I only publicly warned people about advice, when the advice I saw was, IMHO, harmful. I have often sent PM's to advise people if they should check with their docs and not follow blindly to an avatar on a forum. So call me what you will, Lauren, it's ok.

Hey, you asked why I lumped you in with her friends, and that was why. I'm all for sarcasm, but it is very easily misunderstood in tense situations. Honestly, everyone at that point was so tense, especially the people getting attacked, that your funny pictures and sarcasm felt like more of an attack, because they felt aimed at them, not the people doing the attacking. I'm sure you meant well and didn't mean it the way it felt, but it wasn't the best time for it.