Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Why do we fall off the wagon? & How to get back on?



Recommended Posts

I'm sure there are many different reasons, but maybe common ones as well? Please share your insight & experiences!

I, unfortunately, retained some bad habits (carb heavy diet, drinking calories) from before surgery, and my weight loss has been stalled for several months now. Perhaps I was never really on the wagon as much as I should have been. I know I need to make some changes in order to start losing again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well, the only answer I know of, ya'll already know it. Surgeon, Dr Matthew Weiner states, "The only reason why people gain weight back is going to back to old/bad habits"....so, do the opposite. Stop drinking the calories, etc.

I'm 8 weeks post op...and I caught myself grazing the other day. Very bad habit for me. But it was nice to be mindful of what I was doing and thinking about why I was doing it. Today, I'm not grazing. I will not go back to those habits...and I have to constantly remind myself of it too.

Ya'll can do this...get back on the wagon trail, which is bumpy (we're not perfect and we will mess up/fall off), but we can definitely make the changes needed to stay on that trail. You can do it. :)

Edited by Newme17

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, you have to find the grit and drive within yourself to do what you need to do to be successful. There just comes a time when you have to ask yourself what is more important, you or food...

You are worth it! food is just food.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've fallen off. I actually gained 20lbs from somewhere. My diet had been steady, my activity steady and then out of nowhere, I found myself indulging way too much. Now I am frustrated as hell and determined to get this weight off. When you have had it off for a while you know the difference. I think it's just not paying attention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We fall off the wagon the moment we begin using food as something other than what it really is intended for: nutrition to fuel our bodies' basic activities.

Some people use food as an emotional crutch. Others use food to bestow enjoyment upon their lives (e.g., the satisfaction of feeling full after eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet). Others use food to conquer boredom or loneliness. Some people use food to deal with stress.

Some people use food as an escape mechanism because they subconsciously dislike themselves. For some, food is their drug. Here's a saying: "Addiction is an attempt to escape from yourself. Recovery is an attempt to discover yourself."

If we find ourselves regularly reaching for junk food rather than real food, it's a surefire sign we're using food for purposes other than intended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We're trying to change habits we've had most or all of our lives--sure, it's hard. People have given different reasons for doing this in the first place, but there are a lot of similar ones--for one's family, for one's health, for comfort in places like airplane seats and amusement park rides. Think about your reasons and find that motivation again . . . you know it's important to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Several months after RNY gastric bypass, you will transition from the Weight Loss phase to the Maintenance phase. Eventually your weight loss will diminish and you will slide quite naturally into the next phase. I went through this transition at around 7 months post-op. Being successful in the Maintenance phase requires a different strategy than the Weight Loss phase. The following article describes my experience in the Maintenance phase. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Everyone, I hope you are having a nice day, the weather is beautiful here in Roseburg, Oregon but it is starting to get hot again. Now I can attest to trhe struggles of WLS and Maintance. We fall of the wagon because GUESS WHAT? We are human and we make bad choices at times. Because wer make bad choices DOES not mean we are BAD> It is a choice that we have ti becme aware of what our choices will effect us in negative ways. Now we all know what it takes to be successful, do you know why? Because we have been doing it for however long we are out from our surgery!! Just keep your eyes on the PRIZE!! Now KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Introversion said:

We fall off the wagon the moment we begin using food as something other than what it really is intended for: nutrition to fuel our bodies' basic activities.

Some people use food as an emotional crutch. Others use food to bestow enjoyment upon their lives (e.g., the satisfaction of feeling full after eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet). Others use food to conquer boredom or loneliness. Some people use food to deal with stress.

Some people use food as an escape mechanism because they subconsciously dislike themselves. For some, food is their drug. Here's a saying: "Addiction is an attempt to escape from yourself. Recovery is an attempt to discover yourself."

If we find ourselves regularly reaching for junk food rather than real food, it's a surefire sign we're using food for purposes other than intended.

I love this comment and the quote. A few weeks after I had surgery I joined a DBT Skills Workshop offered by a local therapist. The skills of mindfulness, distress tolerance, middle path, emotional regulation and others are things we don't often learn growing up. Learning to sit with discomfort and not use a substance to numb it is really hard. Learning better strategies and then actually using them is even harder. The ongoing classes / filling out worksheets daily is really helpful and I think it's these tools that will help me maintain better habits long term. You can search DBT to learn more about it and maybe it can help minimize the "falling off the wagon"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to work at a horse farm. Feeding the horses can be surprisingly complicated.

Beauty gets 2 quarts of sweet feed, 1/2 cup corn oil, 2 small scoops of bee pollen, etc.

Sweet feed is made up of several kinds of grains and Vitamins. The extra supplements provide the unique nutrition for that individual.

Beauty gets the same thing every day, occasionally modified as necessary.

If we think of food in the same way for us.. we make a plan and stick to it, we can get our nutrition, and we always know what we will be eating, and how much.

Remove the question, "what am I having for dinner" from the equation, and you won't fall off the plan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Go back to eating your Protein first. If you do that, there is no room to drink or eat too much of anything else.

The July 4th weekend was full of wonderful food and I found myself putting too much on my plate. I then slipped on the eat protein first rule and ate too much of the side dishes before finishing my protein. So the new rule for me at party like events will be to get the protein first and eat it, then go back for the side dishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really wish that initial restriction could last forever! I can't eat as much as before surgery obviously, but I think I can overeat by a little bit if I don't stop myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Berry78 said:

Remove the question, "what am I having for dinner" from the equation, and you won't fall off the plan

This is good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly from reading forums for years, people that "fall off the wagon" never seem to get back on it. It isn't like AA, you can just give up alcohol. You can't give up food and if you would never learn to control your eating and food when it was easy post-op, you probably never will.

Post-op life shouldn't be on a wagon or off. You have to find a way to eat that is easy, normalized to your and HEALTHY. That way you don't fall off the wagon, don't feel deprived and don't cheat.

If you really can't eat right, finding a therapist to help you work through your feelings about food might bring you some success.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×