Ok so this is the only place I can share this. I am 5 weeks post opt feeling good and plugging along. Probably my own fault but started back online dating. Got to a point someone wanted to meet and I told them about my wls and they said they had to go and stop talking to me. So what's worse being overweight and not trying to help myself and single or overweight but making progress to be healthy. Now I just feel awful.

Ok so this is the only place I can share this. I am 5 weeks post opt feeling good and plugging along. Probably my own fault but started back online dating. Got to a point someone wanted to meet and I told them about my wls and they said they had to go and stop talking to me. So what's worse being overweight and not trying to help myself and single or overweight but making progress to be healthy. Now I just feel awful.

Sounds like you dodged a billet with that one. You will find a genuine person that realizes everyone has a journey. Hang in there.

That was no loss. You just scared a shallow immature little boy away. There are better men out there.

You might want wait to share that info until you know someone better. Have a single friend who is dating and she explains away her "small appetite" with " I just ate", or "not that hungry, let's just get appetizers". Not everyone needs to know your medical history right off the bat.

Ok so this is the only place I can share this. I am 5 weeks post opt feeling good and plugging along. Probably my own fault but started back online dating. Got to a point someone wanted to meet and I told them about my wls and they said they had to go and stop talking to me. So what's worse being overweight and not trying to help myself and single or overweight but making progress to be healthy. Now I just feel awful.

Don't get down on yourself because of one person you never met. Know that they missed out on an opportunity to meet a strong and capable woman. If you want to be upfront to perspective dates than tell them what you're comfortable talking about. Some people are pass judgements before actually seeing the entire package.
Smile and know you are beautiful and happy! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck to you. You can do this.

WLS triggers people to think of someone who needs someone to bathe them or the extreams that are on tv.

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Don't get down on yourself because of one person you never met. Know that they missed out on an opportunity to meet a strong and capable woman. If you want to be upfront to perspective dates than tell them what you're comfortable talking about. Some people are pass judgements before actually seeing the entire package.
Smile and know you are beautiful and happy! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck to you. You can do this.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I didn't give them my medical record they had been asking to meet up and just mention I was recovering.

Sounds like you dodged a billet with that one. You will find a genuine person that realizes everyone has a journey. Hang in there.

Thank you:)

Wait until you are a year post-op, then date.

Just remember that you're beautiful, you're a good person, and you're worthy and deserving of love. If he's too shallow or immature to see that then you don't want him. With patience on both ends, you'll find the right one <3

2 hours ago, itstime4me123 said:

Sounds like you dodged a billet with that one. You will find a genuine person that realizes everyone has a journey. Hang in there.

I second this.. a blessing in disguise.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that nonsense, but better sooner rather than later. (What I mean is you found out that he wasn't a good person after getting close it attached)

But when does one know what is the "right" time to share that they've had wls? ?

Everyone's experience is going to be different in this area, I think. Some people have someone at their highest weight who supports them on their journey--that's what I'm hoping, but I don't really know. But whatever he thinks or does, I need to do this for ME. If he likes the result, great. If not, someone else will, I believe.

I don't think you should wait to be on a dating site or meet someone--go for it. You don't know for sure even that the guy went away because you told him about the weight-loss surgery--it could be that, it could be that he just met someone else, it could be that his wife discovered what he was up to, it could be that he broke his arm . . . it could be that he realized you were more honest than he was. Doesn't matter . . .keep on moving forward!! And good luck!

I came looking for stories re dating - I personally have not had much joy with dating as the people I attract are fickle and also into large ladies.
I would not be concerned re this behaviour- a lot of people mess around on dating sights with no intention to meet or indeed have relationships already. I have also know people who have been successful with online dating

I meet my guy over Plenty of Fish 2 months after I started my bariatric classes. I told him after we had been seeing each other over a month that I was going to have weight loss surgury. He has been so supportive. We got married 12/16. I had my surgury 3/17 and since I have lost over 40lbs. I was afraid that since I'm no longer as big as I was he wouldn't be as attracted. But thank God that he has become even more attracted to me. I was lucky enough to find a man that fell in love with my heart not just my body. Don't let this bad experience stop you. The right one is out there.

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The reality is this, for some people this will be a non-starter for them. Weather it be we were obese once or the skin, or whatever! It's just the thing we have to realize. It's not easy either. I dread it tremendously. I'm in this spot where I'm getting all this attention but I know it's empty because most of them would be pretty turned off by what's under the clothes.

I'm doing this as well and it's scary and exciting, nerve wracking and puts our ego and self-esteem on the line. I feel you girl, I feel you!! I really don't want to be alone anymore but I'm not willing to settle and that means putting myself out there and getting hurt maybe.