Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Dating in 2017, what is "dating" mean anyway? lol



Recommended Posts

who knows? lol. I'm so new to the dating world and add to it the fact that i'm sleeved 6 months post op just don't know what i'm doing. lol. oh well, i'll just wait until HE finds me and in the meantime i'll enjoy learning this new tummy. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

XD omg I feel this on a spiritual level. Who knows the dating game seems so complicated. Just don't let em play games with you!!! >_>;;;; I'm just ready to get cats...

SW: 328
CW: 256
GW: 150
Surgery date: January 12, 2017

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nothing wrong with looking either hon. Call me old fashioned, even though I'm only 38, but I think the best way to "date" is to get in groups and become friends, to eventually best friends. Now I didn't go that route, lol, but if I did it all over again, that's the route I'd take.

.....and there is more than one fish in the sea too.

Edited by Newme17

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I'm single and I'm going to try dating because I feel like meeting people is better then jumping back in a relationship especially when going through this new transition

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not ready to be in a relationship, but I'm curious about the possibilities out there. I'm almost where I'd have to describe myself as "average" instead of "curvy" or "a few extra pounds" etc. I can't blame my weight anymore and say that's why I can't find a decent guy, now it's more clear that my confidence was always the issue at the root of my dating problems. Going to have to take it slowly...


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Live life, be happy, if Mr. Right is there, he's there. If not, oh well.. at least you'd be enjoying life. If he comes along when you're 6 months out, he does. If your intent is a long term relationship, playing the games people do in the dating scene won't work anyways.

Edited by PatientEleventyBillion

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DATING IS SCARY TO ME MY IDEA OF DATING CAN BE DIFFERENT FROM THE NEXT AT THIS POINT IM MORE FOCUSED ON LEARNING WHO I AM MINUS THE WEIGHT KINDA DONT HAVE TIME FIGURING SOMEONE OUT BUT IF SOMEONE COMES ALONG IM DEF OPEN TO A FRIENDSHIP LEADING TO MORE OVER TIME

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, vsgClarese said:

who knows? lol. I'm so new to the dating world and add to it the fact that i'm sleeved 6 months post op just don't know what i'm doing. lol. oh well, i'll just wait until HE finds me and in the meantime i'll enjoy learning this new tummy. :)

Girl.... I was married for 26 years. When i got banded 11/09 i was 230#.. zero self confidence or self esteem. My ex brought me down at every turn. He never wanted me to lose the weight to begin with. Now i see that it was just his way of keeping me down and him in control. But, 100#s later and 8 years..... i am soooooo happy. As the weight went down.. the confidence went up and up and up and up.... he hated it... So, last year i filed for divorce. He moved out about a year ago and i started dating..... and dating.... and dating..... my friend Tracy insisted , i joined Match. I was thinking...OMG, what kind of crazy men will i hear from. BUT, i didn't post a picture. Some say if you don't have a pic they wont talk to you... i say... get to stepping. If you don't like what you read on a profile and your that superficial that you need a pic ...then F U.... The first week i had dozens of men contacting me. I weeded through them and replied to a few. One of which was Tim.... I will say he was not what i "normally" go far.... but he met all of what i was looking for in a partner... and i messaged him.... I am so glad i did.

So dating i did.... there were quite a few.... and i almost needed a spread sheet to keep track of who, when and where. I was dating so much that i was wearing myself out. The men all knew that i was dating multiple men and were cool with it. Tim got real smart real fast.... he started scheduling our next date during the current date. He got tired of me saying... NO i already have a date that day/night/weekend..... hehe Got to the point were he was occupying most every weekend and some weekdays. The rest of the guys faded away.... Tim is one of the last remaining gentlemen. He opens every door, pulls out chairs, holds my jacket, holds my hand, compliments me all the time.... we have great conversation. Our first dated was Oct. 15th and things are going great. Last month he got promoted and is having to relocate to Mississippi... which is about 3 hours from my house. He asked me to move in with him..... so last weekend we went look at houses. so Yes, i'm moving in.

The last thing i wanted to do was get serious with a guy, but, like a friend told me.... Chris, men like him are rare, ride this train and see where it goes.

Put your self out there, be accepting of people and new adventures... Never know who's around the corner......

Chris

PS..... this was us a couple weekends ago in Boca Raton, Fl

18275026_10212799320680039_8061076474162280094_n.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been single for over 5 years now and never really thought about dating. I am pretty content but people has been asking and I'm wondering if maybe I should give it a shot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Isn't funny how things change. When I was dating (I know I am a older person) going out meant something totally different now than then. They call it going out if they are hanging out together? Say WHAT. What happened to going steady? Just me I guess. Then they say they are going out but he lives 100's of miles from her. (which is fine for me and her mom) LOL So very thankful I don't need to do that anymore as I have been married going on 43 years this August.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I date sporadically, but figured I would wait a year, heal and then finally put myself out there. I feel like you really do need to be friends with the person you potentially get with or at least have some of the same interests.

Edited by Aysla

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 6:07 PM, SandyToes143 said:

it's more clear that my confidence was always the issue at the root of my dating problems. Going to have to take it slowly...

I think your sentiments can be echoed throughout this website with many of us. Understanding ourselves and our idiosyncrasies is a path which is hard to follow. The fact that you have had this revelation about yourself is a great leap forward in becoming the new person you're transforming into.

"I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl.... I was married for 26 years. When i got banded 11/09 i was 230#.. zero self confidence or self esteem. My ex brought me down at every turn. He never wanted me to lose the weight to begin with. Now i see that it was just his way of keeping me down and him in control. But, 100#s later and 8 years..... i am soooooo happy. As the weight went down.. the confidence went up and up and up and up.... he hated it... So, last year i filed for divorce. He moved out about a year ago and i started dating..... and dating.... and dating..... my friend Tracy insisted , i joined Match. I was thinking...OMG, what kind of crazy men will i hear from. BUT, i didn't post a picture. Some say if you don't have a pic they wont talk to you... i say... get to stepping. If you don't like what you read on a profile and your that superficial that you need a pic ...then F U.... The first week i had dozens of men contacting me. I weeded through them and replied to a few. One of which was Tim.... I will say he was not what i "normally" go far.... but he met all of what i was looking for in a partner... and i messaged him.... I am so glad i did.
So dating i did.... there were quite a few.... and i almost needed a spread sheet to keep track of who, when and where. I was dating so much that i was wearing myself out. The men all knew that i was dating multiple men and were cool with it. Tim got real smart real fast.... he started scheduling our next date during the current date. He got tired of me saying... NO i already have a date that day/night/weekend..... hehe Got to the point were he was occupying most every weekend and some weekdays. The rest of the guys faded away.... Tim is one of the last remaining gentlemen. He opens every door, pulls out chairs, holds my jacket, holds my hand, compliments me all the time.... we have great conversation. Our first dated was Oct. 15th and things are going great. Last month he got promoted and is having to relocate to Mississippi... which is about 3 hours from my house. He asked me to move in with him..... so last weekend we went look at houses. so Yes, i'm moving in.
The last thing i wanted to do was get serious with a guy, but, like a friend told me.... Chris, men like him are rare, ride this train and see where it goes.
Put your self out there, be accepting of people and new adventures... Never know who's around the corner......
Chris
PS..... this was us a couple weekends ago in Boca Raton, Fl
18275026_10212799320680039_8061076474162280094_n.thumb.jpg.a667dfaf832addae221908ece4c08567.jpg

Awesome! My husband forced my hand after 26 years and I am divorcing him. Conflicting feelings but I know it's for the best....for me. I'm 15lbs from goal and am trying my hand at online dating. Taking it slow. Definitely am not looking for a rebound. I want to eventually find a good one to share life with but I'm going to let the universe help with that! You give me hope. Thank you!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×