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Dates that don't revolve around food



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Going to the support groups isn't to land a date. It's to get out and be social. Dating is not the only way to be social. Go make friends. Go get comfortable in public outings. Have fun. The goal isn't to meet someone to date, but it might happen anyway. When you're comfortable and happy with your social life it's a lot easier to attract someone who sees light coming out of you. Right now you are projecting this image (at least on this thread) as a sad, shut-in loner who hopes that internet magic will bring you a love life. Go love life instead, and the rest will either come or it won't, but at least you'll be out enjoying the world.

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Both my ex-wife and I had weight issues. We seldom did anything that didn't involve food. I told my new girlfriend about my surgery on our first date. She's gone out of her way to suggest activities that don't involve food (we went bird watching last Sunday). I really appreciate her efforts.

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What about joining some running/fitness groups? I'm 17 years out of the dating game but it seems like a great way to meet people. If no romantic interests, at least some great friends.


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People are going to want to eat,

Next time (because you'll probably run into the same problem if you are not upfront ) order soup...

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9 hours ago, LELH said:

What about joining some running/fitness groups? I'm 17 years out of the dating game but it seems like a great way to meet people. If no romantic interests, at least some great friends.

My girlfriend belongs to a small gym where she takes exercise classes and lifts weights. She's made lots for friends there (but no dates). My dad was part of a running group for years. He made a lot of friends too. I'm a more solitary person and don't socialize much while I'm exercising. So I guess it depends on a person's personality.

Edited by CalGuy64

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I'm getting back into dating and not having the problems some are. Worst things so far have been lying about looks (she used old, old pics) and being sexted (I want to get to know someone and develop a relationship, not just jump into bed).

I used to avoid crowds or social settings because I was self conscious, etc. Now that I'm 120 down and not too far from my goal weight I'm feeling confident, like I have the world at my fingertips. 20 - 30 pounds ago I felt that way too. I'm doing activities I've always wanted to do, but didn't. All the dates I've been on have been one timers so far...either you connect or you don't.

So guys, you need to break out of your shells and start going outside your comfort zone. Live life instead letting life pass you by. I'm hoping to meet a great woman, but my happiness is not dependent on that.

As far as dates that don't revolve around food...hiking, going to a park, outdoor concerts, live music, coffee shops, lake kayaking, bike rides, snow tubing...I could go on and on.

There's much to do out in this great big world!! I'm going to die with memories, not wishing I had done this or that...I'm done with that way of life.

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 239.6 GW = 220 (6'5")

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I'm getting back into dating and not having the problems some are. Worst things so far have been lying about looks (she used old, old pics) and being sexted (I want to get to know someone and develop a relationship, not just jump into bed).

I used to avoid crowds or social settings because I was self conscious, etc. Now that I'm 120 down and not too far from my goal weight I'm feeling confident, like I have the world at my fingertips. 20 - 30 pounds ago I felt that way too. I'm doing activities I've always wanted to do, but didn't. All the dates I've been on have been one timers so far...either you connect or you don't.

So guys, you need to break out of your shells and start going outside your comfort zone. Live life instead letting life pass you by. I'm hoping to meet a great woman, but my happiness is not dependent on that.

As far as dates that don't revolve around food...hiking, going to a park, outdoor concerts, live music, coffee shops, lake kayaking, bike rides, snow tubing...I could go on and on.

There's much to do out in this great big world!! I'm going to die with memories, not wishing I had done this or that...I'm done with that way of life.

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 239.6 GW = 220 (6'5")

I have a premium package at planet fitness and I would think that's a good place for a date also, maybe on a Saturday afternoon. That's just what I thought. Might not be for you. HW 238, SW 209 CW 147

Sent from my N9560 using BariatricPal mobile app

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I have a premium package at planet fitness and I would think that's a good place for a date also, maybe on a Saturday afternoon. That's just what I thought. Might not be for you. HW 238, SW 209 CW 147
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Great idea!

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 239.6 GW = 220 (6'5")

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In a few minutes I'm going to go meet my girlfriend for a hike she's planned in a local state park. The hike is 9 and a half miles. I hope I'll be able to keep up -- it would be real embarrassing to have to ask her to slow down.

Definitely a date that doesn't involve food!

Edited by CalGuy64

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I read this whole thread and man some non food date ideas trivia night is a fun one for me also there is going to the local game store and dropping in on an role playing game I've made tons of friends this year doing that mind you I am a nerd so that is right up my alley there's always taking a class like painting pottery something fun low key where you use your hands

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I sure don't want to date Kim Jong Un, that dude is major weird! Do you think if we got him a campership to BatiatricPalMX, He could have a bypass or VSG and it might improve his outlook on the world and sweeten his spirit? Just asking![emoji51]

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That's cool you want to judge me as bitter, but I'm trying to understand what women want because apparently what I'm doing isn't working.
Just be yourself. My perfect date is someone I could make it through a date gone awry with. If the actual date itself goes to **** but we're both laughing it off and the conversation is good, he asks me questions so I feel like he's interested in me and he's sharing some of himself so that I don't feel really vulnerable I like that. It feels real. You're really just making a new friend and if you click and the chemistry is there than it will organically grow. Some people are socially more awkward maybe. You day you're struggling to even get responses? Maybe you have a friend of the opposite sex that can look over your profile or go on a fake date with you to curb some of that but honestly I think the right person will just like you for who you are. I went on a fake date with a guy friend and he told me I was to laid back and willing to pay and open my own doors and that I needed to make a man do those things because that's how I'd know a man respected me... I personally don't want to think that much and I do like when guys do those things because it makes me feel special and kind of girly even though I'm fairly independent bit I also like to reciprocate because we're all human and want to feel valued and cared for...so like I said at the very beginning just be yourself. Be genuine and be kind.

Sent from my LG-Q710AL using BariatricPal mobile app

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11 hours ago, Jezzabelle360 said:

Just be yourself. My perfect date is someone I could make it through a date gone awry with. If the actual date itself goes to **** but we're both laughing it off and the conversation is good, he asks me questions so I feel like he's interested in me and he's sharing some of himself so that I don't feel really vulnerable I like that. It feels real. You're really just making a new friend and if you click and the chemistry is there than it will organically grow. Some people are socially more awkward maybe. You day you're struggling to even get responses? Maybe you have a friend of the opposite sex that can look over your profile or go on a fake date with you to curb some of that but honestly I think the right person will just like you for who you are. I went on a fake date with a guy friend and he told me I was to laid back and willing to pay and open my own doors and that I needed to make a man do those things because that's how I'd know a man respected me... I personally don't want to think that much and I do like when guys do those things because it makes me feel special and kind of girly even though I'm fairly independent bit I also like to reciprocate because we're all human and want to feel valued and cared for...so like I said at the very beginning just be yourself. Be genuine and be kind.

Sent from my LG-Q710AL using BariatricPal mobile app

Being myself doesn't work. It's been two years since that post and nothing has changed. Still get a very low response rate to my messages, less than 1%. Women also don't initiate contact with me. Once that do answer my initial message tend to disappear quickly. I'm not very likeable with below average looks. I'm in my mid 30's so I've accepted my fate.

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Being myself doesn't work. It's been two years since that post and nothing has changed. Still get a very low response rate to my messages, less than 1%. Women also don't initiate contact with me. Once that do answer my initial message tend to disappear quickly. I'm not very likeable with below average looks. I'm in my mid 30's so I've accepted my fate.
Well besides the fact that I had gotten overweight which I've started my journey, I think I'm a relatively attractive girl and I don't turn men down based on looks. I date all body types, races, and faces. There are good women who appreciate good men. This it's not your fate. It may be your defeated perception which makes me sad.

Sent from my LG-Q710AL using BariatricPal mobile app

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