To start off, I am only 20 years old, and my birthday is in July. I have been overweight my entire life, struggle with food addiction, depression, anxiety, basically all the fun stuff. All the women in my family have had weight loss surgery, and really only my mom has succeeded long term. I see all of them, and I get angry. I get angry because they are exactly like me and I don't understand why they couldn't help me before it was too late. My adult brain tells me that I know it's not their fault, as I am responsible for myself, but yet I'm angry.

I think that I'm also angry because I am in slight denial. Even now, I don't believe I will have the surgery, even though it's only two weeks away. I'm scared that everything I thought this surgery will fix in my life won't actually fix. I'm afraid that I am making a bad decision and I can only think about the hair loss and loose skin that will make me feel even uglier than before. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to be successful with the surgery. I'm tired of struggling with food and my happiness, and what if this surgery won't fix it?

I'm frustrated that I am so young and hate life this much already, and I know it's because I am unhappy with myself. I guess my biggest fear that I internalize as anger is what I said before, what if this surgery doesn't fix me? I think that's what I've been afraid of all along and don't know how to tell people. I guess I'm more afraid of myself instead of the surgery. How sad is that?

14 minutes ago, esaad said:

To start off, I am only 20 years old, and my birthday is in July. I have been overweight my entire life, struggle with food addiction, depression, anxiety, basically all the fun stuff. All the women in my family have had weight loss surgery, and really only my mom has succeeded long term. I see all of them, and I get angry. I get angry because they are exactly like me and I don't understand why they couldn't help me before it was too late. My adult brain tells me that I know it's not their fault, as I am responsible for myself, but yet I'm angry.

I think that I'm also angry because I am in slight denial. Even now, I don't believe I will have the surgery, even though it's only two weeks away. I'm scared that everything I thought this surgery will fix in my life won't actually fix. I'm afraid that I am making a bad decision and I can only think about the hair loss and loose skin that will make me feel even uglier than before. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to be successful with the surgery. I'm tired of struggling with food and my happiness, and what if this surgery won't fix it?

I'm frustrated that I am so young and hate life this much already, and I know it's because I am unhappy with myself. I guess my biggest fear that I internalize as anger is what I said before, what if this surgery doesn't fix me? I think that's what I've been afraid of all along and don't know how to tell people. I guess I'm more afraid of myself instead of the surgery. How sad is that?

Things that have uncertainty makes us question ourselves. I will have my surgery on May 15 and I reading everything to make sure I don't fail so we all are thinking the same way. It's okay you are not alone.

The surgery can't fix you. Only you can do that. But, the surgery WILL allow you to shed some of your weight, restrict your food choices, and give you the room to breathe while you figure things out.

If you are surrounded by people for whom the surgery didn't work, it is in your best interest to distance yourself from them. Birds of a feather flock together. You need a positive flock with which to fly.

You have your whole life ahead of you! Use the anger to fuel your determination to learn the right path to take.

The surgery works if you get your head in the right place. I'm hoping that you are working with a counselor/therapist for your issues. If you don't get your head in the right place, the surgery won't help in the long term. We all have those moments before surgery where we are scared, angry, and then going through the whole range of motions.

Best of luck. But use your anger to fuel your success. You can do this.

The surgery will help you but it won't fix your unhappiness and frustration you will need to continue with therapy to help you get to feel good about yourself and what's in you as a person. Feel and talking the way you do just means you really want this which means you will work hard to get there. That's a good step forward.

3 hours ago, esaad said:

To start off, I am only 20 years old, and my birthday is in July. I have been overweight my entire life, struggle with food addiction, depression, anxiety, basically all the fun stuff. All the women in my family have had weight loss surgery, and really only my mom has succeeded long term. I see all of them, and I get angry. I get angry because they are exactly like me and I don't understand why they couldn't help me before it was too late. My adult brain tells me that I know it's not their fault, as I am responsible for myself, but yet I'm angry.

I think that I'm also angry because I am in slight denial. Even now, I don't believe I will have the surgery, even though it's only two weeks away. I'm scared that everything I thought this surgery will fix in my life won't actually fix. I'm afraid that I am making a bad decision and I can only think about the hair loss and loose skin that will make me feel even uglier than before. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to be successful with the surgery. I'm tired of struggling with food and my happiness, and what if this surgery won't fix it?

I'm frustrated that I am so young and hate life this much already, and I know it's because I am unhappy with myself. I guess my biggest fear that I internalize as anger is what I said before, what if this surgery doesn't fix me? I think that's what I've been afraid of all along and don't know how to tell people. I guess I'm more afraid of myself instead of the surgery. How sad is that?

Don't put this surgery up on a pedestal for fixing what seems to be psychological issues.. you will only wind up disappointed and who knows what happens then. This is merely a tool.

I'm 2 1/2 months post op. The surgery is a tool. Your stomach is cut but not your brain. It's a mental process, for me, very emotional the first month & a half. I would recommend getting mental help first with the depression because if you're an emotional eater, the surgery might not help in the long run. Good luck. Good for you to be so young & knowing what you need to work on now.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 165.6 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

This surgery is a TOOL. It is not a magic button, the problems you had before surgery will be there after surgery. This surgery helps you control your eating it will not make your issues dissolve. If you don't make the effort yourself no one in your life can make you or force you to change your eating habits . It's all on you. The hair loss is temporary, young people have a better chance of skin looking normal after surgery and weight loss than older people . I am 64, had surgery at age 59 and have all my hair and the skin is not too bad considering my age. But I have regained about 30 pounds which I am trying to lose now. So you will have to work at it, and stay with it or it won't work at all. It's YOUR success or failure and no one else.

Surgery won't fix you and if you are unhappy now you will probably be just as unhappy if not more after surgery.

Surgery magnifies all your emotions and you end up doing a lot of reflecting on yourself.

I suggest your start working ASAP on coping with life and your feelings or life after surgery is going to be pure hell.

You just trade problems with surgery, not solve them.

Being angry is not always a bad thing. Hell, hating something isn't always a bad thing either in my opinion. As long as it doesn't consume you. I believe that anger and hatred need to be channeled into something productive. Hate your old eating habits. Be angry about your old activity levels. Vow not to go back to them.

At your age, getting right with your health is seriously the most important thing you can do for yourself at 40+.