Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?

Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

I just wanted to reach out to you and say welcome. I am new here also and just got a date for my surgery.

I don't have any eating disorders to the extent that you do so I can't help you there. I just want to wish you good luck with your journey. I am sure others will respond with good advice for you.

I found one exercise that I can stick
with-gym treadmill. It is more social and the time Flys when I can watch TV and catch up on facebook and email. I have been going about 4 years now.

Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?
Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every Fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

I am a newbie as well. My suggestion for exercise is to start while sitting in a chair. I've seen several work outs that can be successful that way until you're able to do something different.
Good luck in your journey[emoji4]

I just wanted to reach out to you and say welcome. I am new here also and just got a date for my surgery.
I don't have any eating disorders to the extent that you do so I can't help you there. I just want to wish you good luck with your journey. I am sure others will respond with good advice for you.

Thanks so much, and good luck to you too!

I found one exercise that I can stick
with-gym treadmill. It is more social and the time Flys when I can watch TV and catch up on facebook and email. I have been going about 4 years now.

Stuff with free hands is good, I need distraction from the misery LOL

I am a newbie as well. My suggestion for exercise is to start while sitting in a chair. I've seen several work outs that can be successful that way until you're able to do something different.
Good luck in your journey[emoji4]

Good idea! The laying on the floor type may also be calling to me!

Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?
Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every Fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

Hey! I have don't have any first hand advice for how it will be post surgery as I'm just starting this whole thing. Had only my initial consultation. One thing though I can tell you is I relate to all of the things you mentioned. And I have to believe that most of us that are seeking this surgery have had some form of this very same history with food and feelings of self hate etc. Even so look at all the people that have succeeded and now have healthy lifestyles with huge weight losses. (There are a lot of post wls people on Instagram and YouTube that give some helpful insight into the day and the life of post op.) None of them started like that they started like us. I do believe it's hard post but the surgery makes it bearable to quit food as we know it or the way that we see it. Obviously can't quit food altogether but you know what I mean . Especially in the beginning. I've heard the hardest part is the pre op diet and then post its much easier because physically we can't eat much and our hormones that trigger our hunger drastically change as well which is partly why the sleeve has so much success.
As far as exercise. I would start with something very easy and light. Stretching even for few minutes. Don't stress about it though. Honestly it's our diet that will initiate the weight loss and as we lose exercising will be easier and not as dreadful to do. Which is perfect timing since that's when we'll need it most to maintain the weight loss. Something that is light and bearable for now is good.
One other thing that you could look into is that certain medications can help with binge eating. One is Vyvanse which is a stimulant used for ADD, but has also been approved for binge eating. It helps. If that is still an issue for u. That is a totally personal decision though to discuss with your doctor or a psychiatrist. But just advice from personal experience that I wish I knew about way before I did and got to the point I'm at now. Ultimately though if you are approved for surgery by your drs and have come this far don't give up. Like I said we all have/had messed up relationships with food but somehow this surgery has been the key to get past it. Good Luck!

I think I just replied to a way older post that I didn't see date until now lol. Well hope all went well if it is. [emoji4]

Hey! I have don't have any first hand advice for how it will be post surgery as I'm just starting this whole thing. Had only my initial consultation. One thing though I can tell you is I relate to all of the things you mentioned. And I have to believe that most of us that are seeking this surgery have had some form of this very same history with food and feelings of self hate etc. Even so look at all the people that have succeeded and now have healthy lifestyles with huge weight losses. (There are a lot of post wls people on Instagram and YouTube that give some helpful insight into the day and the life of post op.) None of them started like that they started like us. I do believe it's hard post but the surgery makes it bearable to quit food as we know it or the way that we see it. Obviously can't quit food altogether but you know what I mean [emoji6]. Especially in the beginning. I've heard the hardest part is the pre op diet and then post its much easier because physically we can't eat much and our hormones that trigger our hunger drastically change as well which is partly why the sleeve has so much success.
As far as exercise. I would start with something very easy and light. Stretching even for few minutes. Don't stress about it though. Honestly it's our diet that will initiate the weight loss and as we lose exercising will be easier and not as dreadful to do. Which is perfect timing since that's when we'll need it most to maintain the weight loss. Something that is light and bearable for now is good.
One other thing that you could look into is that certain medications can help with binge eating. One is Vyvanse which is a stimulant used for ADD, but has also been approved for binge eating. It helps. If that is still an issue for u. That is a totally personal decision though to discuss with your doctor or a psychiatrist. But just advice from personal experience that I wish I knew about way before I did and got to the point I'm at now. Ultimately though if you are approved for surgery by your drs and have come this far don't give up. Like I said we all have/had messed up relationships with food but somehow this surgery has been the key to get past it. Good Luck!

Thanks! This post isn't that old lol . I'm scheduled for August 8th. I did do well on a prescription stimulant for weight loss (also found out then that I prob have adult ADD because I was like literally a new human able to function and study!) but they wouldn't let me stay on it permanently, so all the weight bounced right back.

"Surgery makes it bearable to quit food as we know it" that's what I'm hoping. I know I have a problem and I do as much as I can against it but nothing has been entirely effective permanently. It's frustrating. Food addiction is the only addiction where you have to continue to use your drug of choice to survive and trust yourself to do it without overdosing, and that's a b***h.

Totally agree. It's hard! Glad you got your date. That's exciting! Good luck with everything[emoji4]

Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?
Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every Fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

Just wanted to say welcome to the forums. I have my last my last NUT appt in June, hoping for an August surgery. Loved to stay in touch and support each other.

Just wanted to say welcome to the forums. I have my last my last NUT appt in June, hoping for an August surgery. Loved to stay in touch and support each other.

Thanks! And Yay August pals! I'll shoot you a message so we remember

Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background? Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every Fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

Welcome to the forums and I'm wishing you nothing but the very best.

I don't have advice but can share I struggled with food addiction and then realized the reason I thought I ate was for a myriad of reasons, from boredom to even happiness. I've done just about every diet known to man, each time gaining more when I couldn't stay on the plan. But after a lot of hard work I feel it got much better.

And still, I feel like you do sometimes , hoping this will really help. I also had paloric stenosis, so it feels like my stomach has had it in for me since the beginning.

The only thing I can say is maybe plan for any cravings with healthy alternatives. Take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself when accidents happen. Chill [emoji4]

I'm really pulling for you! Here's to a new beginning and many blessings for your journey.

On 3/15/2017 at 11:38 PM, lornasaurusleeve said:

Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?

Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every Fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

Lorna, you are thinking too much. Chill and relax your energy is all over the place. Being afraid of the unknown will lead you to a far place that has no tunnel. Guide your body like it's a light shift ahead when necessary but fix it on something showstopping. You can do just relax o.k.

Welcome to the forums and I'm wishing you nothing but the very best.
I don't have advice but can share I struggled with food addiction and then realized the reason I thought I ate was for a myriad of reasons, from boredom to even happiness. I've done just about every diet known to man, each time gaining more when I couldn't stay on the plan. But after a lot of hard work I feel it got much better.
And still, I feel like you do sometimes , hoping this will really help. I also had paloric stenosis, so it feels like my stomach has had it in for me since the beginning.
The only thing I can say is maybe plan for any cravings with healthy alternatives. Take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself when accidents happen. Chill [emoji4]
I'm really pulling for you! Here's to a new beginning and many blessings for your journey.

Thanks so much! I'm working on finding foods I like that are better for me but also satisfying. What do you like?