Hi all! This is my first post here, my dietician suggested I join to get some input from others on some of my nagging worries. I keep telling her I just cannot even fathom that I won't be constantly almost panic inducing-ly preoccupied with food like I am now, especially with such restricted calories. I have a long history with restriction and exercise bulimia then rebound binge eating disorder and lots of therapy under my belt plus a year of pre-op certification to get approved. I'm just so scared this is how I'll always be. (I am stable enough for surgery, all of my team agrees.) I was a maniac at the peak of my restriction, eating 1000 calories a day and going to the gym for an hour on my lunch break and an hour after work and I was just miserable. Finally I couldn't keep up with that and gained back all the weight I'd lost with some serious binge eating disorder in place of it. It's all left me with a panicky preoccupation with food most of the time, and the dietician says that my brain chemistry will change and I just...can't imagine. Peace? Will there be peace? I'm 31 now and so sad that my self hatred and obsession with weight loss and dieting and food stole my youth. I've had binge eating disorder for so long that it's basically not effective anymore for that rush my urge to eat is so desperately seeking, which has been a good thing in slowing it down, though I know the discomfort and preoccupation is my body seeking more and more for that high. I am afraid that 'losing' the few foods I still do like will be devastating to me in terms of quality of life. That sounds dramatic lol especially in comparison to REAL, ACTUAL quality of life. My dad had a heart attack and died at 54 a few years ago and I know if I don't get it together I'm going to be on the same path. Have any of you maintained success with a similar background?

Also I fear getting back into exercise because I fear getting out of control again, also, I just hate it with every fiber of my being. Now especially with all the weight I've gained because it's just so physically painful. I know I have to find something I like, but I don't know what that will be yet. (As a very fair skinned, very heat intolerant introvert, it will probably be something in my nice air conditioned apartment lol) As a former and still fat kid, I have a borderline traumatic lifelong history with the discomfort and embarrassment of physical activity and everything in my brain is always just SCREAMING "NOOOOO" to any type of exercise. I'm sure some of you can relate. How did you get over that?

Lorna, you are thinking too much. Chill and relax your energy is all over the place. Being afraid of the unknown will lead you to a far place that has no tunnel. Guide your body like it's a light shift ahead when necessary but fix it on something showstopping. You can do just relax o.k.

Are you saying I'm still a maniac? Lol jk, I know I am. I'm very up and down and anxious. Will try to relax.

2 hours ago, lornasaurusleeve said:

Are you saying I'm still a maniac? Lol jk, I know I am. I'm very up and down and anxious. Will try to relax.

Lol. I know how you feel. I get like that also. It's totally isn't easy.

Welcome and stay in touch with your bariatric team during the entire process. Yoga dvds might be an exercise you should try, or guided imagery meditation. I cannot give advice on the eating disorders but can suggest reading Geneen Roth's books.

Good luck.