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I cannot decide if I should do this or not
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So, hi! I'm brand new here. I'm gathering information. I've been to the sleeve seminar, called my insurance, and have my first appointment on Tuesday. I go back and forth about this surgery almost hourly. I am prediabetic, prehypertensive, probably have sleep apnea, have GERD, PCOS, joint problems, and other things. My BMI is 42. I apparently can't lose any more than 10 pounds during this process or my insurance won't approve it. So I can't even try to lose on my own or else I'll have to start over. The earliest I could have the surgery is mid July. I'm scared of after surgery. I'm scared of complications. I'm scared of regretting it. I'm also scared of losing 2/3 of a major, vital organ. I'm very scared of the health problems that I'm headed for if I don't do this. This isn't really about what I look like - I don't want to have a heart attack in front of my kids. I don't want to die. But I also don't want to have a lifetime of complications from the surgery.
I'm not good at decisions.