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ryan_86

Gastric Sleeve Patients
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Everything posted by ryan_86

  1. I’m just frustrated with dating. Two years after surgery I know I will always need to be vigilant to keep weight off. I can’t be with someone who struggles with food or isn’t active. I’ll get sucked right into their lifestyle. It makes me feel shallow, even though I know it shouldn’t, and it limits the dating pool. I guess I didn’t have any expectations concerning relationships after weight loss, but I did/do have aspirations. I’m tired of being single, and when you exclude overweight women, single moms, women 8+ years older than you, people who don’t have their **** together, women who want kids, and people so into Jesus it’s in the first 15 words of their dating profile, it’s like trying to find a specific needle in a haystack-sized pile of needles. It’s frustrating and sometimes it hurts. That’s my venting for the day. Off to find something enjoyable.
  2. ryan_86

    I can’t date overweight people

    That’s fair. I had in mind something a little more specific than what I described, and you’re entirely correct.
  3. ryan_86

    I can’t date overweight people

    Thank you for your response. My aversion to dating overweight people is not aesthetic. I’m concerned if I’m around someone who eats poorly or is inactive, I’ll begin to eat poorly or be inactive. Obesity is socially contagious, and much of my success has been due to being single in the first place - I didn’t need to be around unhealthy food for anyone else’s sake. I’m actually impressed with those who did have to be around unhealthy food and yet still succeeded. I don’t think I could have.
  4. ryan_86

    Here I grow Again

    I feel ya. I e put about 30 pounds back on by the small accrual of old bad habits and letting new good habits fade. I git my **** together in the past 10 days and am doing ver6 good going back to basics. Mostly liquid diet at the moment, and working with a behavioral therapist. The important thing is I didn’t let it get out of hand, I asked for help, and I understand it will always be a struggle. But it’s a struggle I can win, becaus3 I did it once already.
  5. ryan_86

    1 year out

    Today is 1 year out for me. 365 days ago I was trying to sleep and being woken up by a nurse every 90 minutes. Now I here I am at 161, down from 285. I hit a low of 157.4, which worries me what with gaining a little. A few things I've noticed: 1) I can eat quite a bit without much discomfort, 2) I definitely get hungry, in some ways more so than before, and 3) I don't think it's possible to maintain the rigidity of the initial diet forever, and I need to figure out the lifetime maintenance part. What about others 1 year out? What have you learned? How was your journey?
  6. I had a new work photo taken. That's the only picture I have of myself before beginning my pre-op, so it's my "before." I was shocked to see my new photo. I almost look gaunt. I don't think either photo looks like me.
  7. I've been eating quest bars since surgery and I actually enjoy them. However, the sugar alcohol in them has me farting so frequently I can't stand to be in the same room as myself. Does anyone have a recommendation for a bar with no sugar alcohol? Thanks.
  8. I'm considering seeing someone about my compulsive eating. I've been slipping back into eating when I'm not hungry, and while I haven't gained weight back yet, the thought scares the hell out of me. What do therapists suggest for this? I'm worried I'll go in there and be told things I already know.
  9. I'd also like to hear from others on this.
  10. ryan_86

    Finding Happiness

    I've yet to finish the pizza, but yes, I could if I spent enough time trying. There was a period when I just didn't eat anything "bad," with bad defined as things I can't control myself around. I'm not sure if that is ever sustainable, but neither have I found the ability to have a little bit without craving more. Bored? Eat. Sad? Eat. Happy? Eat. Busy? Eat. It is all about the mental ability to stop yourself, because your brain is so much better at giving you permission.
  11. ryan_86

    Finding Happiness

    Being able to physically do things I couldn't before is pretty awesome. It's a new life.
  12. Sounds like a classic case of her insecurity. Too bad people don't come with an ignore button.
  13. I can handle people being afraid for their loved ones, but when someone calls it the easy way out I have this strange urge to spray them with a garden hose. They don't know anything about it, and if they feel the need to judge, well, to hell with them.
  14. ryan_86

    Unintended Consequences of Massive Weight Loss

    It became such a problem for me I went to a pain management doc. Turns out I have a misshapen coccyx. Starting physical therapy for it on Friday.
  15. I found out after the fact that my mother had told a lot of people, mostly because she was concerned and needed to talk it out with people.
  16. People figure it out on their own. They eventually notice the weight loss, then you take a couple weeks off work, then you lose a bunch more weight. They put it together. I told the people who I thought needed to know, and among those I was especially close to, I explained why. Everyone else just eventually assumed, but they were always too polite to mention it unless it was by accident. I briefly contemplated shaving my head before surgery to see if people at work would freak out when I got back and think I had a round of chemo, but I decided that would only be funny to me. I settled for telling people who saw my original work picture that I had been stung by a bee just before the photo was taken, just to amuse myself. Amazing how many people believed that.
  17. ryan_86

    Plastics done :)

    Amazing
  18. ryan_86

    Dating is Awkward

    I'm 30 and haven't done much dating, and it does feel dishonest in some ways to date now. Not to mention hard in general. I keep it to myself. No one needs to know unless the relationship becomes serious. Focus more on figuring out how to date first.
  19. ryan_86

    Citric Question

    Citrus fruit is a problem because of the membrane. Hard to digest. Orange juice is very acidic and will be uncomfortable for you, plus cause GERD. Popsicles will be fine as they don't have too much acid, but you might try some other flavors to start.
  20. ryan_86

    How long a stall is too long?

    I'd try something different. I would try reducing calories again, but give your NUT a call. I'm kind of in the same boat. Can't eat beef, but don't feel much restriction unless I eat too much too fast. I measure everything rather than relying on restriction to tell me I'm full. I stalled at six months but had more or less met goal. I eat 1400-1600 now
  21. ryan_86

    Who does races?

    I just signed up for my first race, a 10k in October. I'm following a RunKeeper training plan. Who else races, and how did you get started? Any tips?
  22. Because I'm sick and working like a dog and keep having to cancel vacation days to get work done. Because I'm trying to buy a house. Because sometimes I just want the donut. I think figuring out when it's okay to not be perfect at dieting is the hardest part of this.
  23. The heavier the weight, the longer you rest between sets. For the amount you'll be lifting for hypertrophy, around 60 seconds is good. The most important thing, however, is that you increase the weight when you are able. Each week, try to lift a little more. It's called progressive overload. Check out a website called "A Workout Routine"
  24. So the notion that low weight/high rep lifting tones is a myth. Toning is another term for hypertrophy. The term is usually associated with building muscle mass, but people mistakenly believe that mass is the same as bulk. In men, mass CAN lead to bulk if they have the body chemistry for it and work especially hard toward that goal. Women almost universally do not have the testosterone levels to add enough mass to become bulky. Rather, the mass they build simply adds firmness and some limited definition - that's tone. The ideal approach to hypertrophy is a median approach. Weight around 65-80% of your max, reps between 8 and 12, 4 to 6 sets. I'd advise a mix of cardio and weights through your losing phase and a greater focus on lifting afterward. Your scale may stall temporarily, but adding muscle is harder than losing fat. If you stick to your diet, the scale will start going down even if start lifting again.
  25. Granted, the remaining flab and skin don't help, even though I'm a svelte and fit 158 pounds, but I still feel like a fat person. Without a shirt on I still think I look like a fat person. And when people say I look great, I think could and should look better. When they say I've lost enough, I tell them I want to lose more. When they say I'm skinny, I say I'm fat. I'm on this first date last night, and I've never done any serious dating, and I just felt....dishonest. Like I was telling her I was this person I'm not. Because just a year ago I was morbidly obese. And I still think I'm that person.
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