Hi everyone,

I am a newbie and am still in the indecisive mode of getting a sleeve. Obviously it is a big decision as it is irreversible and just going through abit of fear of the unknown.

My question is how did everyone cope after the surgery socially. I know it will be different- obviously eating a whole lot less... but family events, gatherings, going out for dinner and occasions seem daunting. How do you go with eating at these functions?

If someone could shed some light on their experiences about eating with friends and family afterwards and how this was for them that would be great...

Thanks in advance

Carly

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First be sure it's what you want. This is not for the faint of heart. It changes your life. It takes time. Learn about food from the dietician. Look at what you can eat. Knowing you can only eat a small amount. I tried to eat small piece of cake. It didn't taste the same. If we could eat and exercise correctly,none of us would need this surgery. My family know. And they cool with it. But I got to be cool with myself. I was sleeved in September. It's been 90 days. It's still a learning experience. But I am 35lbs lighter. Give it a lot of thought....

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I just follow the basic rules. Protein first, veggies if room, don't drink 15 minutes before eating, wait to drink for 30 minutes after eating. Social gatherings are no problem whatsoever.

Thanks so much for your input guys- I am definitely giving it a lot of thought and in the early phases. Take care

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Agree with everyone-I also got sleeved in September. I'm down 45 pounds total and feel like myself again which is great. I only just recently started going to dinner and things like that. I'm very open so everyone around me knows, so they understand completely. I make sure to take it slow, don't eat and drink at the same time, and I always try to order either off the kids menu or a side (a lot of places do a side of shrimp or salmon or chicken to add to salads and that's usually inexpensive and a smaller portion). Just stick to your plan and don't let all the temptations around you sway you.

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How do you go with eating at these functions?

Thanks in advance

Carly

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I actually go without eating. Seriously, it isn't that bad. A friend of mine came over today so I could teach him a procedure involving some tools he is interested in buying. He offered to take me out for Breakfast. I said "Sure, but remember, I can't eat a whole lot". He had forgotten, but it was no issue.

We went to one of our favorite diners in the area, and where I am fairly well known by many of the staff. We were taken care of by one of my favorite waitresses. As she has done for a very long time, she filled coffee cups, and brought along a glass of orange juice for me as well, as soon as she saw me coming. Although I had already explained to her that I could not eat and drink at the same time, she had forgotten. It was no problem, and she did not give me any grief. We had a very nice breakfast.

All this is to say that life goes on. There will be changes, and you will have to explain things to at least some of the people around you. How much you want to share and with whom is up to you. You are not required to tell everyone everything, but it is not a bad thing to tell some people some things. They need to make adjustments too, especially those who interact with you on a regular basis. Some folks may disagree with this, and that's fine. We're all different. I just happen to think it makes life a little easier, and so far it has. People have been very supportive and understanding for the most part.

(a lot of places do a side of shrimp or salmon or chicken to add to salads and that's usually inexpensive and a smaller portion).

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I never thought of that! That's a great idea!

I have been very open with close friends and family about the surgery which makes it so much easier. Thankfully every single person I have told has been 100 % supportive. Going out to eat was still hard in the beginning as your mind struggles to catch up with your body. There were times I'd get soup and couldn't even finish it or get an app and could only eat a couple bites while everyone else ate whatever they wanted. It was frustrating at times but has gotten easier. You get more familiar with your sleeve and what it wants and tolerates and how much it can handle of different consistencies etc. and then you can make choices that will work well. I am at the point now, 4.5 months out, where this is my new normal and I just deal with it.

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I have been completely open and transparent about my entire journey, surgery and all, with everyone I know and don't know, so that makes eating out pretty simple since people know I'll eat a very small amount. My partner and I usually order some kind of grilled protein and I take about 2 oz of it while he eats the rest, and that's it for me. If the place has a side I can eat, I'll take about 1 oz and eat that as well. If not, I just eat the protein. I order water to appease the server, but I don't touch it (outside of one time when 30 minutes elapsed after I finished eating and we were still sitting there).

Even pre-op during my six-month diet program, I hauled my salad dressing all over the United States where I was going for work and all over New Orleans when I was at home. No one really thought anything of it.

I have tried to embrace the idea that food shouldn't and doesn't define a social setting or a good time. It took a little bit to get there, but now it is no big deal. Everyone pretty much eats and drinks different things anyway.

Get ready for the questions. Most people that know you've had surgery won't ask why you're not eating (the ones that do know but ask anyway, just remind them you've had 80% of your stomach removed) - but the ones that don't know will ask why you're not eating, or if that's all you're going to eat - or if they don't ask, they WILL NOTICE. I usually state that "I ate before I came out" to keep the questions at bay, which usually works.

I have found that I'm eating slower, small bites and lots of chewing. I take as long as anyone around me does to eat.

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90% of the time the waiter asks if there was a problem with the food or I didn't like it. It's annoying. I'm tempted to start saying yes and get a free meal

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Love these responses!!! Exactly what I needed. Thanks so so much for your input guys xxxxxxxx x

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Just be smart in your decisions after the surgery. I'm 5 weeks post op and my wife is 6. We have been out to eat a couple times just split a meal. Then have leftovers still for another meal or 2.

My social life is as full and busy as ever it just doesn't involve food as much.

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I'm from a big Italian family and to socialize means to eat. What helped me was shifting my focus from the food to the people I was there to be with. And even on the occasions in which I have fallen off the wagon, damage was minimize it on account of my beautiful little sleeve. The first year post up almost doesn't feel like real life for a lot of people. But it is. This is the rest of our lives. We need to be able to be around food without letting it own and control us. For me, focusing on how grateful I was to be with my family even when we were all out eating out a big Italian restaurant maybe not miss gorging myself at all. In fact, I love just having a bite or two of a few different things. Lord knows that since I've had the sleeve I don't do much cooking because it just doesn't pay to cook a complete meal for myself alone. I would have to eat it every day for the entire week. And I never do that-it ends up in the garbage! Enjoy your loved ones. Let food just be the punctuation mark not the star of the show.

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