Supportive... but not

[giglag1227 2]

My mom and husband say they are supportive.... and then yesterday I have my first meeting with the nutritionist and I'm telling my husband she says I have to eat low fat and fat free foods (which I am really NOT ok with... they taste so gross!!) And he tells me that he doesn't believe what the nutritionist says about fat free crap... and I'm about to cry because I am already overwhelmed and I know I have to listen to her. Then my mom tells me she's supportive but doesn't think I can do it?! That's not supportive. So I yelled at her.

I just feel like such a failure and now I feel like I'm going to fail at this too. I am at a loss here.

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Why does it matter if your husband pooh-poohs what the nutritionist (I hope that's really an RD) told you? It's your attitude about low-fat and fat-free foods being "gross" that's your greater obstacle. When we want to do "A," it may require doing "B." It happens all the time. It's a choice and you are the one who has to make it. That he's your husband is second to your being your own grown-up.

Fine, you yelled at your mother for being negative toward you. If she has no basis for saying what he said, ignore her from here on; don't discuss the subject with her. If there is some basis, think it over. There may be something you can learn. That she's your mother is second to your being your own grown-up.

Losing weight, as most other things in life, is about choice and what we want for ourselves. Your comment, "...I know I have to listen to her..." is false. You don't "have" to do anything other than what you choose. Surgery is unlike being marched to the guillotine. It's an option for doing good for one's self. As long as you don't see it that way, you need to think it through some more.

It would be nice if the people close to you were encouraging and knew when to keep their mouths shut, but you can't have everything. Getting through life in reasonable shape requires getting what we want or need where it's available. Lot's of people do therapy as one of the sources. It can go a long way toward sorting ourselves out if we do the work.

Edited December 2, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[FarmerJulie 5]

Try to keep it simple. Highly processed fat free foods are gross. I agree!! But steamed veggies are good, skinless chicken is good, fresh fruit etc. Highly season, but don't heavily sauce your food. Stay away from high carb/sugar foods and have some healthy fats. There are so many tasty recipes out there! This isn't a prison sentence. You are choosing to undergo a surgery for a healthier you. Starting down the path now will make it easier in the long run. You can do it!!

[sarahblu 179]

For me, everything tastes different after surgery and I am surprised how diligent I am with selecting food, unlike before. I wouldn't freak out about the minor details right now, just learn as much as you can. The biggest part to your journey right now is understanding why you are doing this...for you or for them? If you are truly confident and passionate about this decision, they shouldn't be able to upset you so much. Do this for you and your health.

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[giglag1227 2]

I'm still on the fence about the surgery. I'm only 238lbs. It's not like I'm 400lbs and this is life or death, but I do have health factors that are concerning and I've been told by ALL my doctors that this is best for me, especially if I want another child. I do feel like I'm being forced into this so that's not helping. I've tried everything else and nothing works. It's just frustrating. I know everyone has been there and I appreciate the positive, helpful comments with suggestions to get through it. The "Suck it up, buttercup" type comments aren't helpful and kinda rude, actually. I'm not a 12 year old. I get it, this is MY choice, but I'm sure you can all understand the frustration behind this kind of decision. I need to be healthy for my daughter, she's only 10 months old. Pretty soon she's going to be running around and this heavy mama has a hard enough time chasing her when she's crawling. Lol

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[busybeebug 415]

I'm still on the fence about the surgery. I'm only 238lbs. It's not like I'm 400lbs and this is life or death, but I do have health factors that are concerning and I've been told by ALL my doctors that this is best for me, especially if I want another child. I do feel like I'm being forced into this so that's not helping. I've tried everything else and nothing works. It's just frustrating. I know everyone has been there and I appreciate the positive, helpful comments with suggestions to get through it. The "Suck it up, buttercup" type comments aren't helpful and kinda rude, actually. I'm not a 12 year old. I get it, this is MY choice, but I'm sure you can all understand the frustration behind this kind of decision. I need to be healthy for my daughter, she's only 10 months old. Pretty soon she's going to be running around and this heavy mama has a hard enough time chasing her when she's crawling. Lol

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I'm glad you are honest with yourself on your reservations and not just blindly going into this surgery. It's not for everyone and it takes time to decide

Don't let anyone push you into surgery. If you are not ready then there is a good chance you won't adhere to the life changes. I started last February at 288 . I am 224 @ little over 2 months out from my sleeve. I do feel better and have more energy. My kids are just about grown up. I do regret not doing it sooner but it is what it is. Make the decision right for you.

[Dawnislas 74]

No one should have this surgery until they are absolutely ready and understand (as much as possible) the short and long term results that are possible. It is all hard and is not an easy way out. It is truly life changing. I knew I was ready when I didn't feel any anxiety and didn't care what anyone else said. Some people can do weight loss programs like WW and keep the weight off. But I think the most successful if they met goal and continue to work the program for life. (Again life changing) yo may need to see a therapist to work through the process. Don't do anything until you know it is the right thing, you understand the risks associated, and despite the fear of surgery you are ready to start the journey.

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[stacyrg2 350]

I'm still on the fence about the surgery. I'm only 238lbs. It's not like I'm 400lbs and this is life or death, but I do have health factors that are concerning and I've been told by ALL my doctors that this is best for me, especially if I want another child. I do feel like I'm being forced into this so that's not helping. I've tried everything else and nothing works. It's just frustrating. I know everyone has been there and I appreciate the positive, helpful comments with suggestions to get through it. The "Suck it up, buttercup" type comments aren't helpful and kinda rude, actually. I'm not a 12 year old. I get it, this is MY choice, but I'm sure you can all understand the frustration behind this kind of decision. I need to be healthy for my daughter, she's only 10 months old. Pretty soon she's going to be running around and this heavy mama has a hard enough time chasing her when she's crawling. Lol

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Honestly, I can't understand the frustration behind your decision because I didn't experience it. I knew it was exactly what I wanted, I didn't feel forced into it. It was MY choice and I couldn't wait to begin. If you're feeling forced or frustrated surgery, at this time, may not be the right decision for you.

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[heidikat72 935]

as someone who waited until i was over 400lbs and had decreased mobility, i WISH I had had the courage to do this much sooner when my primary doc first suggested it and long before I was 400lbs. But I didn't. However, recovery would have been much easier and I wouldn't have lost out on really living 10-20 years of my life.

It seems like you already have some sense that in order to take care of your family, you need to take care of YOU first and be the healthiest you can be for both you and them.

However, if you really feel like you are being forced into the surgery and it isn't your decision, it may not be the right time for you. This really needs to be something you want in order to be successful.

One thing that helped me finally make the decision was actually putting down on paper all the things I want to be able to do that my obesity was making difficult or even impossible. And being honest with myself about how quickly my health was starting to deteriorate after years of being overweight/obese.

[busybeebug 415]

I'm still on the fence about the surgery. I'm only 238lbs. It's not like I'm 400lbs and this is life or death, but I do have health factors that are concerning and I've been told by ALL my doctors that this is best for me, especially if I want another child. I do feel like I'm being forced into this so that's not helping. I've tried everything else and nothing works. It's just frustrating. I know everyone has been there and I appreciate the positive, helpful comments with suggestions to get through it. The "Suck it up, buttercup" type comments aren't helpful and kinda rude, actually. I'm not a 12 year old. I get it, this is MY choice, but I'm sure you can all understand the frustration behind this kind of decision. I need to be healthy for my daughter, she's only 10 months old. Pretty soon she's going to be running around and this heavy mama has a hard enough time chasing her when she's crawling. Lol

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Oh and another thing lol

I do understand the frustration, my mom was not supportive of the surgery. I just didn't talk about it with her until I was approved. She did support me even though she didn't agree with what I was doing. The women in my family are traditionally big. I watchedy gram struggle with being morbidly obese all my life before she passed from complications post knee replacement (2nd replacement) and complications of being obese. She was only 68. It was heartbreaking.

My mom is obese and about the,size I was in February. She believes that she is okay since there are no other issues with her. I respect that. She tries to cook healthier. It's tough.

I also understand how much you (we) want to loose without intervention. Or the frustration of trying so hard and not loosing weight. Ive tried so many diets and failed long term. I looked into the surgery in 2012 but the surgeon Office I contacted was an ass so I let it go. Looking back I probably wasn't ready anyways. In 2015, i cut out most sugar, breads, most dairy, all soda and most processed foods. I gained 20 pounds. I went into a deep depression and stopped doing anything. I'd see my kids off to school sleep til 10. Do the bare minimum of work sleep from 12 -3. Straighten up the house. Cooked dinner sit on couch then rest of the night. My SIL saved me and help me see a therapist and find a supportive pcp. In January after my diabetes went worse and a huge talk with my pcp I decided to talk to a bariatric surgeon and other professionals and post surgery people. I went to my informative meeting and began the process.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Ha!

Every one has a tipping point when surgery was the best chance at being healthy. Don't rush into. Go at your pace

[giglag1227 2]

I'm still on the fence about the surgery. I'm only 238lbs. It's not like I'm 400lbs and this is life or death, but I do have health factors that are concerning and I've been told by ALL my doctors that this is best for me, especially if I want another child. I do feel like I'm being forced into this so that's not helping. I've tried everything else and nothing works. It's just frustrating. I know everyone has been there and I appreciate the positive, helpful comments with suggestions to get through it. The "Suck it up, buttercup" type comments aren't helpful and kinda rude, actually. I'm not a 12 year old. I get it, this is MY choice, but I'm sure you can all understand the frustration behind this kind of decision. I need to be healthy for my daughter, she's only 10 months old. Pretty soon she's going to be running around and this heavy mama has a hard enough time chasing her when she's crawling. Lol

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Oh and another thing lol

I do understand the frustration, my mom was not supportive of the surgery. I just didn't talk about it with her until I was approved. She did support me even though she didn't agree with what I was doing. The women in my family are traditionally big. I watchedy gram struggle with being morbidly obese all my life before she passed from complications post knee replacement (2nd replacement) and complications of being obese. She was only 68. It was heartbreaking.

My mom is obese and about the,size I was in February. She believes that she is okay since there are no other issues with her. I respect that. She tries to cook healthier. It's tough.

I also understand how much you (we) want to loose without intervention. Or the frustration of trying so hard and not loosing weight. Ive tried so many diets and failed long term. I looked into the surgery in 2012 but the surgeon Office I contacted was an ass so I let it go. Looking back I probably wasn't ready anyways. In 2015, i cut out most sugar, breads, most dairy, all soda and most processed foods. I gained 20 pounds. I went into a deep depression and stopped doing anything. I'd see my kids off to school sleep til 10. Do the bare minimum of work sleep from 12 -3. Straighten up the house. Cooked dinner sit on couch then rest of the night. My SIL saved me and help me see a therapist and find a supportive pcp. In January after my diabetes went worse and a huge talk with my pcp I decided to talk to a bariatric surgeon and other professionals and post surgery people. I went to my informative meeting and began the process.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Ha!

Every one has a tipping point when surgery was the best chance at being healthy. Don't rush into. Go at your pace

I'm totally with you on this. I feel the same way. I'm at a point where nothing else has worked for years and every doctor I have been to has recommend this... from my OB to my endocrinologist and everyone in between. I feel like I'm all out of options and this is my last resort. I guess that's why it feels forced, but at the same time I feel like this is what I need. I just hate the idea that everyth8ng I ever knew about dieting is basically a lie after I met with the nutritionist yesterday.

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