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Relationship challenges after sleeve



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I am just wondering how your relationships were effected after getting the sleeve surgery with your significant other.

I am almost 5 weeks post op and have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He has been super supportive through this entire process and extremely understanding. But I am afraid that all the changes will eventually take a toll on our relationship.

I was just wondering what other have experienced through their journey.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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WLS had no impact on my relationship. We were together for years before surgery and are still together almost 4 years post op.

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My relationship hasn't changed at all, My husband has been very supportive even in weeks 4 and 5 when I was a bitch from hell (due to hormone changes). Once I was back on HRT I was fine, we were fine and still are.

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No changes in my relationship except now we can do more together.

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My wife and I are much closer now. Mainly, that's because we've both lost weight. :P Seriously though, we have always had a good relationship through almost 33 years of marriage. Most other family members have been very supportive as well. Some of my friends have gotten a little squirrelly, but since they are more in the "good acquaintance" category more than close friend category, it doesn't really bother me. Most people who know about my surgery have been way more understanding than I had hoped or expected.

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Wow, that's great that everyone's had such a good experience with their relationships! Good to know!

I unfortunately did not, and it blew me away! I never would have expected it, but on a subliminal level, my husband (of 18 years) was more comfortable with me not losing the weight because the process of me losing weight woke a lot of insecurities for that had no basis in reality. I also did a LOT of work on myself through 3 years of therapy to deal with the underlying issues that were causing me to eat away my feelings. Through that process I regained a lot of my personal power, and it wasn't something he was able to come to terms with.

It's a very loaded issue in an individual's life and within a marriage. Ultimately, my husband was not able to adapt to the thin, more empowered version of me. As a part of the process, I regained my personal agency and my personal power, which kind of threw off the dynamic of our marriage and he wasn't able to get on the same page with me.

I'm not at all trying to discourage you, it just is something worth being mindful of. In the end, you need to make the decision that you can live with in the end. It sounds to me like you want a life that you are actively living and you have every right to that life. :-)

Hopefully since you're so early on in your relationship you will both grow together.

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Relationships will change.

What quite often happens is that the person losing weight will often become more self confident and unless you are in a very stable, loving relationship things can be difficult

On one of my pre op yo-yo diets I lost a lot of weight and my wife accused me of sleeping around. None of it was true but she became very insecure and after 30 years of being together I walked out.

That was a few years ago and I have since met someone who has supported me every step of the way. She is happy for me even though she didn't fully agree with the surgery. We are very strong together and it's magic.

Just be aware that things will change. Hopefully for the better. If not then maybe its time to move on

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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