I went out for dinner for the first time with my husband last night. I ordered Soup and ate about 3/4 cup. The server asked me if everything was ok? With concern. I assured him it was delicious and prayed the owner did not also come and do the same. It was a flashback to 10 years ago when I was first dating my husband and I had a lap band and waiters would do the same thing. It was embarrassing because it happened on almost every date. My husband would probably have never noticed it had everyone else not kept pointing it out.

How do you handle this?

Ok, I was banded in 2010. I received the Bariatric surgery card to use at restaurants. I had a bad experience at a restaurant once and since then I don't really use the card.

When we were first escorted to our seats, I asked the hostess for a kids menu. Her response in a sarcastic tone, "why. Do you want to color?" I am in my 30's.

I explained to her that I had a stomach surgery and could not eat much food. I told her I had a card from my doctor explaining that.

She left and then her manager came to the table to talk to me. They said they "don't do that, and lunch portions were the same as kid portions." I was pissed. So my mom and I shared a meal. They would have gotten more money if they allowed me to eat off the kids menu.

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That's messed up. I would have left the restaurant and gone elsewhere. Then I would have yelped them poorly (evil me).

ABSOLUTELY!

No one has ever given me a problem but my husband and I share a lot. Sorry you have had to deal with that. Don't give up you just had a shitty waitress

I'm not the type to cause a scene. After we left, I contacted corporate about my experience, and they stood behind their employees and told me the same exact thing. No apologies, nothing. I was very upset and decided to boycott the restaurant. Lol.

So, a more vocal friend

Of mine tested it out by doing the same. They weren't going to let him order off the kids menu either...until he started making a scene. Then they let him. Lol.

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I have been told that restaurants legally have to oblige your card

@@Travelher,

There can be a lot of pressure, but a lot of it is in your head. The server is just doing his or her job by asking you how you are doing and how the food is; the server is not intentionally pressuring you to eat more against your will.

In this case, I would think the only person who matters much (besides yourself, of course) is your husband. Given that you did the same thing 10 years ago while dating him and now you are married, I am guessing he can handle your eating habits at restaurants.

It is not important to worry about the server. You can tell the server whatever you want: that you are full, that you don’t feel well, that you’re taking a break and will finish the rest later, etc.

Good for you for sticking to your guns and eating only that small amount of soup!

I have years of practice moving food around the plate because we keep Kosher but don't want to offend people who want o feed me. Take small amounts of what you can eat, chew slowly and practice your conversation skills.

My friends especially my fat friends, always seem to want to feed me when they notice I am losing weight. Has anyone had the experience?

On the topic of tipping. A buddy and I were in a Dennys in Portland Oregon about 10 years ago. The service was fantastic! About halfway through our meal the waitress says that her shift is over and asked if we wanted anything else before she left. We tipped her $10 each. The waitress afterwards was horrible and smelled of pot. When I signed for the bill she asked if I was going to put a tip on the ticket. I pulled a nickel out of my pocket and asked her for change. When she came back I put 2 pennies down and said this is more than enough for your service and walked out. She was screaming and cussing at me and followed us to my truck. As I was leaving she tried to open my door and kicked the bed. I called for the management the next day to complain. She had already been fired.

We've been out a couple of times since my surgery, because we just had our first anniversary. At applebees, huband ordered a regular meal and i ordered french onion Soup and a side of mashed sweet potatoes. Ended up taking more than half home. I tried a bite of his steak, started to chew and knew it wasnt going down. Husband saw my distress and helped me discreetly spit it in his napkin. Thats love. Lol

Second time we went to a BBQ place. We decided to share what he ordered. We overordered to try a couple of menu items knowing that he would eat any leftovers. There was a bit of a side eye when the waitress saw my plate with a single bbq nacho, a 1in piece of chicken fried bacon, 1in piece of sausage and a 2in piece of brisket but she didnt say anything.

HW 385 SW 359 CW 338 Sleeved 10/5/16