How did your friends and family react to your decision to have your surgery?

I've told a few of my friends and they are supportive but they just can't relate to me, especially my other overweight friends.

Did you experience this too? How did you deal with it?

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My co-workers, close friends, and family have been nothing but supportive and encouraging. I have had some peripheral friends who have had non-reactions but nothing negative said to me. My best friend has always been heavy (it was an experience/POV that we shared and bonded over) but she lives on the other side of the world currently. I think if she were here it would be a strange transition for our relationship.

I chose not to tell most people. No negativity received!

@@MayMarie and @@LipstickLady that's so interesting. I'm glad everyone you did share that with was supportive.

I still have a few friends that believe i should try other alternatives for weight loss. But they don't get that i did try those alternatives already.

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I didn't give anyone the opportunity to think for me. I guess I'm just b!tchy like that.

That's such a great way to look at it. It's your life, your body and your choice.

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You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

My dad had the bypass in 2005; my mom had the sleeve in 2013; my brother had the lap-band in 2014. My family could be some kind of poster family for bariatric surgery, so obviously, they have been super supportive.

At work, 2/3 of my team battles their weight and someone is on some focused diet plan almost all of the time. They have all been super supportive, too. (And in fact, once I go back from medical leave and start traveling again where I see them, I imagine one of my teammates will talk to me about my experience and maybe move in the direction of surgery.)

My friends, too, have been super supportive. I have battled my weight all my life, but throughout my 20s, I kept in pretty much in check. (As in once it got over a certain number, I'd diet and rein it back in.) But in my 30s, it all went to pot and I hit 397 last February/March. They were all so concerned, so I think they were just relieved that I was going to do something about it finally. I did get some "are you sure's," but they were completely out of love and concern.

And my partner is a rock. He has lost 80 pounds as I have lost 115. I'm so proud of him. He supports me in every way. We are both determined to get back to where we were when we started dating almost 8 years ago. It is amazing what getting happy, love, getting older, and a slowing down metabolism (that wasn't that great to start with) will do to your weight over time...

@@blizair09 omg that's soooo amazing!!! I'm so glad to hear that your whole family is reaching their goals and that everyone around you supports your journey. Congrats!!! That was definitely really inspiring.

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@@gowalking yeah you're definitely right. Even though many of my friends struggle with their weight just like i do, they all tend to judge me because i'm smaller than them. Even though i'm still clearly very overweight. I just hope they realize my body and eating habits will change but i'm still the same person. And i would never want them to feel uncomfortable in their own skin simply because i'm making a change.

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@@xoxococojay I've told virtually everyone who I interact with frequently. To me, there was no point in trying to hide that I've dropped 50+ lbs in just a few months...it's very, very noticeable on my frame. When I told people about it, I didn't ask what they thought or indicate in any way that I was looking for permission, commiseration, support, whatever...I just told them matter-of-factly that I was having WLS. If they asked "why?" I told them "because I want to". That seemed to be sufficient

So far, other than one outlier (and my mother initially), everyone has been wonderful to me. The outlier is very, very obese and I think she didn't want to lose a fat friend to a healthier life. She hasn't spoken to me since my surgery and I don't miss her. On the other hand, I have 2 friends who are now planning WLS, in part because of my openness and willingness to share about mine. I'm PROUD of myself, and I'm going to share it.

Omg that's so awesome!!! I hope you know how much your post just helped me. @@ShelterDog64 i have one friend who is now looking into it because i'm about to have my surgery soon. And i have one much larger friend who probably will distance herself from me after i lose the weight. But i guess that's just life. At the end of the day i have to do this for myself.

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@@xoxococojay I'm so glad my post helped! Be confident and tell whoever you want to tell, and tell them as much or as little as you want! This is about you, baby

@@xoxococojay

I only told a few friends, no family. My friends that I told are all normal size and supportive.

I don't tell people because like @@LipstickLady, I really don't care to know their opinions. I still have a clean criminal record and I would hate to ruin that at this age by punching someone in the face for running their mouth.

It was an odd mix. I have several business partners I had to explain it to, and they were understanding, with a couple of exceptions. Until they realized that the one "negative case" they thought they knew about turned out to be a positive example of someone completely changing their life for the good.

My kids were great, my mom found out and was completely nervous until I promised to fly her out, and she was very helpful. A retired RN from San Diego who speaks survival Spanish...she actually came to really like the facility. It was like what she loved about nursing before she retired. Uncluttered rooms, lots of time with the patients, no insurance forms.

So eventually, everyone was won over.

In general, I am a very open person. I was very open about my Lapband, and I didn't receive any negative feedback from anyone who mattered. I did have a couple of people advise me (out of true concern) not to let myself get malnourished. (These were sisters whose aunt had the surgery and let herself become very ill by eating too little and the wrong things. They were positive about it, but wanted me to learn from her mistakes.)

This time around, I have told a few people but not as many. I think part of it is shame that I need another WLS.

Eventually everyone I work with will know and my kids (students) will know because I will have to be out of work. I am very close with my students because I like to build relationships with them. My philosophy is that they will learn more from me if they see me as an adult that truly cares about them as a person. They return the care. If I'm out for a doctor's appointment or a sick day, they worry about me. (Also, I teach two grades at a small school and have the same kids for 2 years, so that lends itself to a special closeness.) I will be matter of fact with them and let them know I'm working on being a healthier person. They already know about my Lapband because they see me throw up several times a week. (If they don't see it, they still know when I take a trash can and run for the closet.)

So, my surgery won't very a secret. However, I don't think it's something that I will share with acquaintances on social media or anything like that. If anyone asks, I won't lie, but I don't think I'll broadcast it.

For some reason, people seem to be so proud of those who lose weight without surgery, even if they take diet pills or supplements or whatever. Those people are somehow more worthy of praise because they did it "themselves" while WLS is still seen as an easier route or cheating. Whatever. I know I won't change that mindset, so I won't even bother. This is for me and my family anyway, not for anyone else.

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