I love my 24 year old daughter. She is smart, funny, loving, successful et.al. But she has her parent's gene's. I had the advantage of being in the military when I was her age, and her mom didn't get really overweight until after kids. But she ballooned up in middle school and never has gotten her weight under control. I suspect WLS could be a huge benefit, yet she has not brought up the subject to me and I don't really want to start the conversation either. Any suggestions? (BTW, 3/4's of my kids have kept their weight within reason, it's just my oldest daughter who really has the problem, and I think it was because of some serious stress issues at the wrong moment in her life).

There was nothing I enjoyed better than when my dad (who was overweight himself) compared me to my thinner, younger and thus better siblings and telling me how I should and how to lose weight..

I wanted to get gastric bypass surgery nine years ago. My family flipped out and were so against it they didn't know anything about it. Forbid me from even thinking about it. They scared me, totally turned me off so now at 49 I got it done secretly. I think it's good to support your child and in mentioning it I don't think it would hurt your child. In mentioning it I think it will open the doors to other avenues they've just never thought about. Every child wants their parents approval and input regardless of what they said so . Just don't insist or harp about it.

Good luck and thanks!

267/243/224

Surgery date 08/15/16

I have a beautiful step daughter who is obese, She is smart and has a good husband and kids and teaches 2nd grade. I worry about her health and her Dad was always telling me to talk to her about her weight. I just didn't want to go there . She knows she has a problem I don't need to tell her. She lost 85 lbs last year but put it back on and then some. She has tried bless her heart, I just want to say please do something now before you develop serious issues. She has gone back on her diet and is on myfitness pal so she sees my posts. She knows I Had Band surgery and I hope when and if she decides to take the plunge she will ask me about mine. Until then I'm just waiting.

We, as a majority, barely have the emotional ability to master our own weight control, (evident by being here) what would indicate that we should be counseling anyone else? I am sure those whose parents kept reminding them, even in the most kind and helpful way, have memories that tarnished that relationship.

I see people everyday that I would LOVE to beg to get the help I did because I sincerely value their friendship and thusly their lives but can not because I know it is not the way to help. HOW can I help? I guess the best thing to do is to encourage them when they determine the best way to lose weight is and when that effort starts to pay off, nothing but POSITIVE enforcement.

I know that it was (and still is) what keeps me going to and now past my goal and will make one feel good about themselves, not shamed.

I'm sitting here, reading back through this thread, and worrying about my youngest child, a son. He is only 15 and quite frankly I don't think he has even begun true puberty yet. ( No voice change, no armpit hair, you guys know what I mean). He is built completely differently from his brother and sister, both tall, lithe, in great shape. This child has always been the most active, but over the last two years, without getting much taller yet (5'4" compared to his brother who was 6' at this point), he has certainly become stockier. Definitely "chubby".

I have a younger brother who has been obese since he was 9. At 40 he weighs well over 400 lbs. and is only 5'6". I FEAR DAILY that Patrick is taking after his uncle- the difference being I don't allow for the constant junk my brother was allowed to consume while he remained sedentary his whole life. But the genetics are there- and my biggest fear is that he will have to deal with this during his lifetime.

I was never overweight until I became sick, immobile from pain and on huge doses of steroids for 9 years, but I had to work at keeping myself trim and fit before that- I recall the summer before my first year of high school while working at an ice cream parlor my mom saying to me "you better not eat too much of that ice cream or they will be singing roll

Out the barrel to you when you start school." I weighed all of 108 lbs at that time.

Parents comments on their children's weight have huge consequences. They must choose their words carefully.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am not sure what if any decision you have made about this yet but I am going to have to blatantly disagree with most of the posters here. First of all you being obese yourself gives you a unique perspective that gives you the ok light to talk about weight with your daughter, but second and this is the most important, I really wish someone had told me when I was 24 what I was doing to myself. I had PCOS and didn't know it, I didn't know how my weight would affect my fertility, I struggled for years desperately wanting to have children and never could. Last year I finally gave in and had a hysterectomy. And now this year finally at 39 I am having WLS. But imagine what my life would have been like if my father (who also had WLS) would have sat me down and said you should really consider this. I may have lost the weight then, I may have had children, I may not have regretted all those years of pain and miscarriages and infertility. Talk to your daughter, you may change her life.

One day my dad just brought it up when we were on the subject of my weight while eating a delicious dinner out! At first I was taken a back. I thought to myself- am I that "big" that I need it?

Then I thought- I am going to look into it. Plus he said he woukd pay for it! At 200 lbs, from a girl who had always been always at 120-130 lbs, he was concerned for my health and wanted me to lbs healthy and louvd to be around, not only for him and my mom but my little boy as well. He also knew I was not unhappy that my weight was a big party of that.

I was not offended. I was 39 and way past being sensitive about my weight. I think at 24, I would have been more sensitive. Handle it with kid gloves. Gosh, at age 24, I had so much fun post college, dating and traveling amd honestly, your 20's are often the best you'll ever look. I'd hate to see her miss out on all that.

I'm scheduled for GBS on October 27, 2016, and I'm hoping that my daughter will see that it's not the bogeyman she's implied it is and eventually decides to have it, herself, as she's considerably more morbidly obese than I am.

​I hate seeing how uncomfortable she is, and I know that this would be an excellent tool for her to get down to a healthy weight.

it's just so frustrating for me. At least she's stopped nagging me about it, although I expect that as surgery day becomes closer, the nagging will resume.