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I just want to give up
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I'm at the point where I'm feeling like this surgery just isn't meant to be. I just want to give up, but I really really don't.
1. I am losing medicaid at the end of the year. This is definite. I may or may not have other insurance by then, no way of knowing for a while now. There is (was) a slim chance I could get the surgery done in December IF all the stars aligned up just right (already had two weigh ins with my PCP, so if those counted I might be able to get in by December if the surgeon's office accepted those weigh ins.
2. I was supposed to meet with the surgeon, dietitian, and counselor on July 21st and get everything started. Got an email today that they have to reschedule me. I have to call tomorrow to find out when.
3. I was already considering going to Mexico with my tax refund if I had to, but I don't want to do this. I need my tax refund for other bills. But now I may have to do this anyway.
4. I'm having trouble getting info about how everything works for surgery in Mexico. I have severe anxiety and can't make phone calls. But I get one line answers in email. I'm frustrated. I'm pretty sure I want to use Dr. Illan but I need more info. I don't even know yet how much it would cost at my BMI. He's already talking about needing a $500 deposit but I'm not doing that blindly and I just can't get any answers.
I'm frustrated and sad and crying and I don't want to give up but I feel like everything is against me. *sigh*
Edited by WitchySar