open letter to those who think they know whats best for us, and why surgery is the easy way out.

so today i joined my first class of Water aerobics at the local rec. center. the instructor was this tall thin thing, at first she seemed nice enough asking all the normal questions and when she brought up weight loss, i simply told her i looked forward to doing this even after surgery because playing in the pool really felt good. then came the look, we all know the one you get it from those who are on the latest fad diet and its actually working for them, or long time vegans who swear it works for everyone.

please do us all a favor and quit acting like you know me, quit acting like you know what caused me to get to where i am or that you even begin to know how to fix me!!!

take your holier than tho butt and your preaching on home!!! no one wants to hear you belittle their struggles and triumphs !!! especially while you are shoving recipes they didn't ask for down their throats!! If i wanted advice from a yoga doing perfect perky ass suzzie home maker fitness know it all id pay for a personal trainer, oh btw I've tried that too, and guess what i still didn't see the results i should have.

me being fat didn't happen over night, in fact I'm pretty sure i could shock the socks right off you if i should you all my sports photos back from when i played ball in school. I wasn't fat then and i loved to run, but that cant be cause I'm too fat for all that. right????

i was ok with agreeing to disagree and be mature enough to just walk away until you decided to open your mouth and tell me i was doomed to fail and this would just create more issues then i already had. first off you have no right to decided when i succeed and when i fail!!!! so fuck you and your high horse!!!

you making me feel terrible on purpose while using the guise of trying to help me was low. you are entitled to your own opinion but that doesn't mean its worth hearing. i never once asked if you thought i was doing the right thing, because its my life and my body!!! i refuse to be bullied around by you and people like you who keep saying well if you would just put your mind to it and actually commit you could lose the weight all by your self.

so ill leave you with the best advice my momma gave me " if you don't know what the fuck you are talking about or don't have anything nice to say shut the fuck up and exit stage left"

ok sorry rant/outburst over

Kyn13, I think all of us here can relate to people like this. I myself would have reported her to her boss or superiors, or to the establishment. Someone who is in the field of teaching or instructing others in exercise should not put their two cents in on a persons health or their "opinion" on whether or not they agree/disagree with how you choose to handle your weight issues. That is just plain negativity and nobody's got time for that nonsense.

Sorry this person got you so upset and angry. Know that what you choose to do for yourself is the only "opinion" you need. Hugs and hope everything goes well.

Ugh. That sucks. But don't let that idiot live in your head rent free. We have all been there. Many of us are not fully open about the surgery because of people like her. But in the end, who the hell cares? You do you. Not sure where you are on your journey, but you won't have regrets. 6 months out, 91 pounds down, off my meds, in size 6 and only a few pounds to goal and I can tell you that this is the best thing I have ever done for myself. Haters gonna hate.

Ask her to tell you everything she knows about bariatric surgery. Chances are it won't be much. Then give her your surgeon's phone number and tell her to call him and say how she disagrees with his diagnosis.

Exactly on point. Some 40 miles of biking a day hippie pot smoking art teacher told me the same. Just go to the gym. Lift weights. Yes that would be so fun to haul my fat a$$ in front of a bunch of narcissistic men who worship what's in the mirror. Ignore stupid people who know nothing about obesity, genetics, or kindness.

We will prove them all wrong!!!!!!

Edited June 20, 201610 yr by Tommy Joe

I am so sorry this happened! Ridiculous! I was just talking to my sister-in-law yesterday who recently completed her personal training and group teaching certifications and talked about my eating, success, etc. (she is VERY supportive by the way). I was telling her how the personal trainer I had was spouting stuff they didn't know and she agreed that people in this profession should NOT be giving nutritional advice - at least without previously getting at least some nutritional advice. She has a new client who had bypass a few years ago and has gained back most of her weight so I was really stressing to her how important it was to be cautious with nutritional advice for our sort and she agreed. (I also told her to encourage the person to seek therapy which might help.) Anyway.... this person said "and tell me i was doomed to fail and this would just create more issues then i already had"??!! You need to report her to the gym (or wherever). I don't care what you are doing to lose or gain or maintain, no one in this profession should spout these words and those to whom she reports needs to be made aware before she continues to do it to others.

@@Kyn13 -- what did you actually say / how did you actually respond to her?

*shrug* When you volunteer unnecessary information to strangers, you expose yourself to being subject to their opinions.

If you don't want their opinions then either stop sharing personal information, or put on your big girl panties and tell them you don't want or need their opinion.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

I haven't experienced that personally yet. Everyone in my circle has been more than supportive...but I'm positive when someone I don't know decides to tell me what they think I will be all too pleased to show them where they can shove it! Everyone thinks they're a doctor these days...

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My daughter keeps focusing on all the "bad" things that might happen with this surgery, and I've had to just decide that I'm not going to allow her attitude to shake me from my determination to have the surgery.

I love my kid. I really do. But she's an adult and should recognize that as an adult, one should be allowed to make their own choices.

Sorry that you've had this bad experience.

Amen to that.

The people that spout off the most know the least about metabolic disease.

It feels great to rant and get it off your chest and this is just the place to do it.

Now, just get it done and stick it right up her A$$!

I have what I used to call a friend do the same thing to me except she was just and big as I was. Since having surgery and watching me work my plan and get to goal, she never ever ever comments about my weight loss unless someone else does first and then you can see her become severely uncomfortable with the conversation.

My husband saw her last week (it's been about 3 months since I have seen her). He said she has gained no less than 25 to 30lbs more. She is soon entering the super obese but apparently she knows everything.

Oh well, to each his own.....right!

Best if luck to you!

@@Kyn13 - And please ignore comments like Fredbear above. He does NOT speak for the majority of us. His comment deserves an "IGNORE"

Let's face it we are a threat to our culture that makes millions out of people gorging on fast food , paying ridiculous amounts for the latest diet breakthrough, and they count on people failing cause then they get to buy a new miracle diet. My obese friends are worried and I appreciate that very much but I'm going to do this. I'm also going to start standing up for myself and to others as well. Don't expect much support except from us here, if we stay grossly obese and unhappy then think of the money we will spend, the system is set up to make money off of the unhappy people who need a new diet, or a shiny Lexus with a red ribbon, or if someone really loves you they will buy a diamond the size of Rhode Island from Jared Jewelers. We are going against the tide, let's join hands and plow ahead!!

@@Kyn13 - And please ignore comments like Fredbear above. He does NOT speak for the majority of us. His comment deserves an "IGNORE"

"Waaaaaah, I had to listen to an opinion I didn't like, because I overshared and didn't have the balls to tell the person I wasn't interested in hearing it."

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Wow @@Fredbear not sure where this is coming from but you don't even state and opinion with which I can disagree. "Suck it up and put on your big girl panties" is in no way helpful or useful advice.

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@@Kyn13 - And please ignore comments like Fredbear above. He does NOT speak for the majority of us. His comment deserves an "IGNORE"

"Waaaaaah, I had to listen to an opinion I didn't like, because I overshared and didn't have the balls to tell the person I wasn't interested in hearing it."

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

So tell me something .... were you there with me today? No you weren't. Secondly did you not read what section this is posted in?? Rants??? This forum is here for a reason to come and to bitch and be able to get it off ur chest. I didn't care when I wrote this who read it or if no one commented a daum thing. This was about me being the better person and not being hateful to some dumb ass who thought they were trying to help.

But if you had been there today you would have heard me tell her that when she wanted to talk to me after class I told her she could talk all she wanted but it wasn't going to change anything for me. Or when she proceeded to corner me when I was getting my stuff and she kept running her mouth how I told her I wasn't interested. .. but I couldn't go any where cause I was half way dressed at the time. So I chose to be polite like I was raised and bite my tongue long enough to get dressed. And as I walked out the door I made sure she watched me throw every piece of paper she gave me away.

Don't like hearing people bitch moan and cry don't come to the rant page, have a great day.

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