Renkoss

Thank you for this article. Since I had surgery to improve my health and give me a chance at a longer healthier life, I appreciate those words from someone who lost a huge amount of weight and was worried at that time only of the weight. Since surgery, the weight I've lost is gratifying to say the least, and of course now I want more. But, with that said, I must never lose sight of the real reason I had surgery; and that was to improve my health and hopefully get rid of the issues I have/had, and live a longer life.

Thank you for this article. Since I had surgery to improve my health and give me a chance at a longer healthier life, I appreciate those words from someone who lost a huge amount of weight and was worried at that time only of the weight. Since surgery, the weight I've lost is gratifying to say the least, and of course now I want more. But, with that said, I must never lose sight of the real reason I had surgery; and that was to improve my health and hopefully get rid of the issues I have/had, and live a longer life.

Thank you for this article. Since I had surgery to improve my health and give me a chance at a longer healthier life, I appreciate those words from someone who lost a huge amount of weight and was worried at that time only of the weight. Since surgery, the weight I've lost is gratifying to say the least, and of course now I want more. But, with that said, I must never lose sight of the real reason I had surgery; and that was to improve my health and hopefully get rid of the issues I have/had, and live a longer life.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, really, at what cost? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.


When I had my roux-n-y gastric bypass surgery in 2005, my goal was to lose weight. Specifically, I wanted to lose 225 pounds.

At just over five feet tall and 343 pounds, I was super morbidly obese. Those are the facts, but what is also true is that my weight has been the bane of my existence for my entire life. Or, at least, since I was about three years old, when I first realized that my weight fell on the less socially “acceptable” end of the spectrum.

So, yes, weight loss was the goal I set for myself, but what I see now is that all I really wanted was to slip into the spectrum of acceptability enjoyed by women who wear single digit jeans. It was about fitting in. It was about not standing out. It was about being “normal.”

At no point was it ever really about being healthy.

In the two years after my surgery, I dedicated my days to working out and eating as little as possible. Ultimately, I lost 201 pounds. It wasn’t the hoped for 225, but I was a size eight - victory, right?

Not exactly. Even at a size eight, I struggled with body acceptance. I still felt like a fish out of water and worse, I couldn’t seem to sync up with the woman in the mirror. I had a new body, but I didn’t feel like “me” anymore.

And worse still, I didn’t feel healthy. Sure, I’d lost 200 pounds. By all the usual measures (and certainly by societal expectations), I was “cured,” but I felt sick. My energy was low, my sleep was all over the place, and I was incredibly frustrated by a diet that seemed barely sustainable for any length of time.

That diet piece was my fault, of course. So determined to lose the weight, I worked hard to hit my daily protein goal, even if that meant I consumed hard boiled eggs three times a day and literally nothing else. For much of the past 11 years since my surgery, I’ve been riding a roller coaster. I’ve lost and gained weight over and over, the pendulum swinging back and forth and my emotions following. I have suffered serious vitamin deficiencies and still struggle to disconnect guilt from the simple act of eating. In this state of mind, it’s been easy for me to sacrifice overall well being for short-term gain, or in my case, loss.

Despite the fact that I didn’t really feel that great, it still took a while to realize why. When weight loss was the goal, I needed only to focus on the aspects of my new life that supported it: protein, calorie counting, and obsessive exercise.

Health has been the missing piece all along.

Focusing on my health has required a total turnabout. It means that I’ve had to reevaluate my goals. I’d lived so much of my life with oversimplified ideals: thin equals good, fat equals bad. The reality is more complex, as it so often is.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, at what cost really? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.

Today, I am 89 pounds heavier than my lowest post-op weight. Typing those words makes the old me cringe… I feel waves of embarrassment, shame, anger, frustration, and the ever useless guilt.

The new part of me, the one I am working to healthfully feed mind, body, and soul, feels hope. I feel hope because I remember the young woman that weighed 138 pounds, and I know that I was less healthy standing on that scale back then than I am today in my double digit jeans. This new woman I see in the mirror still wants to lose weight, but as a byproduct of a healthy life.

Health has become my personal mission. I wasted a lot of time hating myself to obesity and then hating myself thin. My plan now is to love myself healthy. To do all that I do in the pursuit of weight loss and health with kindness to the woman in the mirror, no matter how she looks.

If any of what I’ve written resonates, I hope you too can break free. My wish for you is that as you walk your own path, you keep your eyes trained on your health goals and not simply on the scale.

My surgery was also on Monday, June 20th. I was given CL, too, and it hasn't harmed me at all. In fact, thus far, my taste buds are still 'thinking' the same way and my body, other than getting full fast, really hasn't rejected anything -except MOM. Tried that today and tossed up for the first time since Monday. On a side note, I lost 10lbs since Monday. Wow.

I also drink Crystal Light, it makes getting my Water in much easier. 96 lbs down since Feb 10th!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I drink crystal light, and have since surgery. I don't notice that it has any ill effect. I'm down 72 pounds since my surgery 12/29.

I just found out that Herrell's Ice cream ships to you, you have to get a minimum of 4 pints. it comes in dry ice
-they have several flavours. The peanut butter ice cream is fantastic, it doesn't seem like a no sugar product and it's
120 calories for three scoops. yum...

There is a brand of non-dairy ice cream called So brand and they make ice cream with Cashew Milk, Coconut Milk, Almond Milk. It tastes wonderful, and my pouch handles it quite well. Also, Klondike No Sugar Added Krunch and Plain bars. So far so good.

There is a brand of non-dairy ice cream called So brand and they make ice cream with Cashew Milk, Coconut Milk, Almond Milk. It tastes wonderful, and my pouch handles it quite well. Also, Klondike No Sugar Added Krunch and Plain bars. So far so good.

There is a brand of non-dairy ice cream called So brand and they make ice cream with Cashew Milk, Coconut Milk, Almond Milk. It tastes wonderful, and my pouch handles it quite well. Also, Klondike No Sugar Added Krunch and Plain bars. So far so good.

Wonderful article. This is something I will definitely heed as I deal with "head hunger" quite a bit.
Thanks for posting.

Wonderful article. This is something I will definitely heed as I deal with "head hunger" quite a bit.
Thanks for posting.

We all deal with "head hunger," that insistent little voice that tells us we really need a bacon double cheeseburger, even though we had a full lunch two hours ago. Coping with head hunger is a fact of life, even for those of us who have had weight loss surgery.


We all deal with "head hunger," that insistent little voice in our mind that tells us we really need a bacon double cheeseburger, even though we had a full lunch two hours ago. Sometimes, it tells us it's all right to keep eating after we've reached our fill line because the cookie bag is not yet empty. Other times, it tells us that mint chocolate chip ice cream really will relieve our emotional pain.
Anyone hungry now?
Head hunger happens all the time, often with the slightest provocation. It has little to do with our body's immediate need for fuel. It has everything to do with our sense of smell and the abundance of savory and sweet foods in our environment. It's a habit we've reinforced over the years. For some of us, it contributes to obesity and other health issues. For others, it complicates mental health conditions. Head hunger promises to make us feel better, but it often delivers misery instead.
Coping with head hunger is a fact of life, even for those of us who have had weight loss surgery. Our surgery has given us a physical tool for our weight loss journey, but we need to supplement it with mental tools. I didn't fully understand this need before my vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Yes, I believed my head hunger would magically disappear with the majority of my stomach. It didn't. The voice still comes and goes, usually reaching top volume on stressful days. It lies to me, insisting that I want food I could not possibly digest at this point in my journey.
How do I cope with my head hunger? How do I keep it from derailing my weight loss or jeopardizing my health?
I'm going to answer with a cliche: I take it one day at a time. This is not intuitive for me because I am not a "one day at a time" kind of girl. I've learned, though, that the harder I fight head hunger, the harder it fights back. Brute force won't stop the intrusive thoughts of food. This is why I must take it one day at a time, with compassionate self-care.
When head hunger hits, I have many options for taking care of myself without reaching into the refrigerator. I can exercise for half an hour to see if the cravings pass. I can spend time with my kids. I can lose myself in a good book or movie. I can learn a new crochet stitch. I can start a new art or writing project. The actual activity isn't important, though. The important thing is to understand when hunger is mental hunger and not a physical need for food.
Understanding what head hunger means to you and what triggers it is the first step in coping with it. After you know this, you can create a personal plan for the day-to-day activities that will help you avoid overeating or eating when your body doesn't need fuel.
Keeping a journal can help you sort out the different physical and emotional feelings associated with head hunger. Talking to other people who understand these feelings can help, too. Giving yourself time and space to deal with the feelings instead of beating yourself up for them is crucial. Above all, showing yourself kindness every day is the most effective way to minimize the influence head hunger has over you.