Okay, it finally sinks in!

A couple of weeks ago I was shopping. You know those huge pieces of glass outside of stores? They are allllll about windows.

As I was walking I saw the reflection of a person and realized if I could get to THAT size, I'd be thrilled.

Holy crap, that reflection was ME! I didn't realize.

Yet, if I see myself in an actual mirror, I can't see a difference. If I see all me, my feature, my picture, I still look 88 pounds fatter. I see NO difference in me today vs. me yesterday. It's been a fantastic eye opener. I finally realize how an anorexic feels. They are 78lbs and look in the mirror and see 300lbs. *I* look in the mirror and while I am 164lbs I SEE 252lbs. I can't wrap my brain around it.

I realize... I know, I am fully aware, I am having a really hard time getting beyond this point. But the reality is, I can't get beyond this point.

I could seriously use some words of wisdom from those that are there or have been there.

Post the picture! I have already seen you so I want to see you in your pretty new outfit. You looked great then so you must look fabulous now!

Wow Bubble what a realization. I had the same experience. It's like your brain did not have a chance to register what it saw and that

I lost about 65 lbs. after my first child was born. I lived at the gym and didn't realize I was normal weight either. Until I walked out of the bathroom and saw a reflection of a normal thinnish attractive woman in the mirror and I wondered who she was because I never seen her at the gym....YUP it was me. WOW...my mind was blown away and of course I was very happy. After that moment I stopped obsessing about my weight and just felt like everything was normal again. I no longer looked at myself with those critical eyes looking for the fat. I just didn't look anylonger . I'd check my face hair but no longer needed to look at the body too much. I was normal again.

Wow Bubble what a realization. I had the same experience. It's like your brain did not have a chance to register what it saw and (this got cut off in last post) the critical mind could not search for what was wrong with your body!

Freaky, eh? Hopefully PS will fix my head. I hope so.

Okay, it finally sinks in!

A couple of weeks ago I was shopping. You know those huge pieces of glass outside of stores? They are allllll about windows.

As I was walking I saw the reflection of a person and realized if I could get to THAT size, I'd be thrilled.

Holy crap, that reflection was ME! I didn't realize.

Yet, if I see myself in an actual mirror, I can't see a difference. If I see all me, my features, my picture, I still look 88 pounds fatter. I see NO difference in me today vs. me yesterday. It's been a fantastic eye opener. I finally realize how an anorexic feels. They are 78lbs and look in the mirror and see 300lbs. *I* look in the mirror and while I am 164lbs I SEE 252lbs. I can't wrap my brain around it.

I realize... I know, I am fully aware, I am having a really hard time getting beyond this point. But the reality is, I can't get beyond this point.

I could seriously use some words of wisdom from those that are there or have been there.

DAMN!

I wrote this post almost a year ago... 10 months or so.

Today I went shopping for new jeans, I'm in a size 4 now. I was trying on various styles of jeans and for the FIRST time I saw it, I'm thin.

I think for the first time I saw what I really look like.

I had a plastics consult last week. Keep in mind, this is before today's revelation. I was standing there nek'ed with a gown draped over my shoulders while the plastics guy was peering at each hanging saggy piece of my body and I asked him how much weight I need to lose before he'll operate.

He kinda stopped dead in his tracks, looked me in the eye with a funny expression and asked how much *I* thought I needed to lose.

I said I didn't know, when I look at the scale (119#) my brain tells me I am done but when I look at my body I see another 35-40lbs.

He carefully explained to me that he won't even consider operating on me until I gain at least 10#. He went on to explain that he wants to build a butt for me via fat injections but he has to take 500cc (1/4 of a 2 liter bottle of soda) from another part of my body and inject it into each butt cheek and I don't have 500cc of fat for one let alone two. So he will have to use implants instead.

I didn't know whether to hug him or smack him for not seeing all the fat that I see.

Yet today, I finally saw it. I am a thin person. I'm not seeing the "too thin" thing yet, but thin... yep. I am finally there.

BTW... I had my revision surgery 3.5 weeks ago. Had my band removed and a sleeve done to replace my band and life is good once again!

Hi BB: I remember too, a long time ago when I had lost a very substainial amount of weight after a pregancy and caught a glimps of an attractive normal sized woman in the gym mirror ...my mind could not tell it was me at first. so "I" looked at that image acurately without the usual critism and negativitly. I'll never forget that feeling when it clicked that that image was me. I think that was the turning point and I no longer looked at that mirror with an inspectors vision. I just let go and said no need to really look to much anymore.

May I ask you why you had to have the LB removed? Did you loose too much of your BB? Size 4 wowo. I was a size for when I was 3 years old! :-) Glad to see you are getting to a place of acceptance.

All the best to you,

marg

Hi BB: I remember too, a long time ago when I had lost a very substainial amount of weight after a pregancy and caught a glimps of an attractive normal sized woman in the gym mirror ...my mind could not tell it was me at first. so "I" looked at that image acurately without the usual critism and negativitly. I'll never forget that feeling when it clicked that that image was me. I think that was the turning point and I no longer looked at that mirror with an inspectors vision. I just let go and said no need to really look to much anymore.

May I ask you why you had to have the LB removed? Did you loose too much of your BB? Size 4 wowo. I was a size for when I was 3 years old! :-) Glad to see you are getting to a place of acceptance.

All the best to you,

marg

I think the last time I was a size four I WAS four years old too!

I was having band problems. I got to goal (130-135) and started having band problems. I finally threw in the towel and got a sleeve. No aftercare was a big issue for me too. I just couldn't eat solids anymore and I was unfilled. I was on liquids for 4 months (as of now, including the post op diet) and losing more weight than I wanted. Of course this couldn't have happened during my weight loss stage, it just had to happen after I hit goal. ;o) Murphy's Law or something like that?

Yep, I lost my bubblebutt completely, I think I have a dent where my butt used to be. :thumbup:/

I am glad you can finally see it WasA. I told you you were thin but you didn't believe me. Your size 6's were baggy. When you have your TT

you are going to feel so much better about yourself. Good grief, if you're at 119 now, you're going to disappear when they cut your skin off!

I am glad you can finally see it WasA. I told you you were thin but you didn't believe me. Your size 6's were baggy. When you have your TT

you are going to feel so much better about yourself. Good grief, if you're at 119 now, you're going to disappear when they cut your skin off!

HA! Since you saw my stomach now you believe me how horrible it is! LMAO!

Told ya so! ;o)

I'm working on gaining and it's getting a bit easier now that I can do soft foods. You know, I think if I never see ice cream or frosting again - that will be ok with me!

Yep, I finally see it. I was floored. I think I was so focused on the jeans and having to buy all new clothes again that I forgot to be critical. I saw myself in the mirror and was floored, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

You know what is weird? Walking without my thighs rubbing together at all. There is air there instead, it even feels odd to walk sometimes.

I get really sick of my clothes not fitting. It's nice to be in smaller sizes but it's a real pain when I buy something new and the next time I try it on, it's too big.

What are you eating these days?

I get really sick of my clothes not fitting. It's nice to be in smaller sizes but it's a real pain when I buy something new and the next time I try it on, it's too big.

What are you eating these days?

What am I eating? LMAO! A quarter cup of this, a quarter cup of that. Refried beans, baked beans, tuna salad, ice cream, frosting, full sugar jello, cheese, pretty much anything loaded with carbs, sugar, and fat.

Yeah, I'm tired of clothes not fitting too. I recall the days I would have begged for this to happen but damn, it gets expensive.

I bet you have to force yourself not to buy sf jello!

I figured you were eating tuna. Didn't you say your were dying for a BBQ chicken wing? couldn't you put that in a blender? (minus bones of course)

I bet you have to force yourself not to buy sf jello!

I figured you were eating tuna. Didn't you say your were dying for a BBQ chicken wing? couldn't you put that in a blender? (minus bones of course)

HA! It's plain broth that will NEVER cross these lips again. S/F jello is once again doable.

Any chicken, especially Southern fried chicken made by a little old Southern lady and I'm gonna have it 7/4. Lots of it and I'm NOT sharing! ;o)

Yep, tuna salad and protein shakes. My staples in life.

I was laughing because you said it's hard to buy the jello with sugar in it.

So I was wondering if you are still doing sugar free or regular. You said full sugar jello just seemed so wrong.

I was laughing because you said it's hard to buy the jello with sugar in it.

So I was wondering if you are still doing sugar free or regular. You said full sugar jello just seemed so wrong.

Sugar free. ;o)

I am the anti-white carb queen. I'm so afraid I'm going to fall into bad habits again. When I start white carbs I can't quit. But in all honesty sugar isn't my vice, stuff with flour is. That starts bad bad bad behaviors.