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OMG, How Crazy Am I????
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Okay, it finally sinks in!
A couple of weeks ago I was shopping. You know those huge pieces of glass outside of stores? They are allllll about windows.
As I was walking I saw the reflection of a person and realized if I could get to THAT size, I'd be thrilled.
Holy crap, that reflection was ME! I didn't realize.
Yet, if I see myself in an actual mirror, I can't see a difference. If I see all me, my feature, my picture, I still look 88 pounds fatter. I see NO difference in me today vs. me yesterday. It's been a fantastic eye opener. I finally realize how an anorexic feels. They are 78lbs and look in the mirror and see 300lbs. *I* look in the mirror and while I am 164lbs I SEE 252lbs. I can't wrap my brain around it.
I realize... I know, I am fully aware, I am having a really hard time getting beyond this point. But the reality is, I can't get beyond this point.
I could seriously use some words of wisdom from those that are there or have been there.