I need to do this, no matter what

[Micoxv 276]

So I should post this one under the rant section, but I am too lazy.

I have been struggling over the last days to eat at the table with the family. Too fast, too much stress. It is not working for me. I ended up having heartburn and throwing up. Then I tried to explain nicely what I was going through. My 6 years old gets it. My wife not so much. She has been skinny all her life and she does not understand what struggling with weight is. Of course she had a period of her life when she had about 15 pounds extra, top.

End of the world. She did a diet, exercised and she was done. She eats healthy and can control portions. Yesterday, I got another lecture on how with will power and motivation I could have succeeded without the sleeve, which is an easy way out. Really? Are you freaking kidding me???

No need to say the impact of this on my morale, especially when you just had the foamies....

Cherry on the cake was the last comment: "anyway, statistically you will gain back between 60 and 70% of your weight long term. Is it worth it?" Ouch. Not cool. No need to say that it has been pretty quiet at home since then.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[jintycb 721]

Oh sod going to the rant section. Let rip on your own thread. My advice, for what it is worth is to arm yourself with some duck tape and next time your nearest and dearest comes out with her helpful advice and statistics you tape her gob firmly shut. Then tell her if she hasn't anything positive and constructive to say, she's not getting the chance to say anything! Might be a wee bit harsh but she's been harsh on you. Good Luck x

[KristenLe 5,980]

So I should post this one under the rant section, but I am too lazy.

I have been struggling over the last days to eat at the table with the family. Too fast, too much stress. It is not working for me. I ended up having heartburn and throwing up. Then I tried to explain nicely what I was going through. My 6 years old gets it. My wife not so much. She has been skinny all her life and she does not understand what struggling with weight is. Of course she had a period of her life when she had about 15 pounds extra, top.

End of the world. She did a diet, exercised and she was done. She eats healthy and can control portions. Yesterday, I got another lecture on how with will power and motivation I could have succeeded without the sleeve, which is an easy way out. Really? Are you freaking kidding me???

No need to say the impact of this on my morale, especially when you just had the foamies....

Cherry on the cake was the last comment: "anyway, statistically you will gain back between 60 and 70% of your weight long term. Is it worth it?" Ouch. Not cool. No need to say that it has been pretty quiet at home since then.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Wow - talk about a slap in the face from the person who should be supporting you the most! Do you think she's insecure and concerned what your weight loss will do to your relationship? I would have a very serious discussion about how those comments are hurtful and not supportive. It's not only about weight but about being healthy! I don't think you have to be overweight to understand and be supportive. Obviously if losing weight was easy (and keeping it off) - obesity would not be an issue! 1 in 5 deaths are linked to excess weight! Some study's show 18% of deaths are related to obesity! It's not easy to lose weight and only 5% who lose on their own keep the weight off. Sorry you're not getting the support you deserve!

[Micoxv 276]

Oh sod going to the rant section. Let rip on your own thread. My advice, for what it is worth is to arm yourself with some duck tape and next time your nearest and dearest comes out with her helpful advice and statistics you tape her gob firmly shut. Then tell her if she hasn't anything positive and constructive to say, she's not getting the chance to say anything! Might be a wee bit harsh but she's been harsh on you. Good Luck x

don´t worry I have a thick skin . She is scared of the changes. I am a lot more confident in my life and I have new objectives. It is not easy to follow me sometimes. She is clearly afraid of that.

It is kind of funny to use VSG as a fighting argument. She never mentioned my weight before... .

[chrisredjeep 357]

Hi Mico

Sorry that your o h was not supportive. I think that Jinty and Kristen have really said it all. Our partners if they have never been really overweight don't completely get what we are going through and sometimes they are not as supportive as we would like them to be. Maybe your wife is feeling a little insecure and sometimes us ladies lash out when feeling this way.

However you have got this board and all the fantastic folk here who will listen and totally get what you mean . Oh those foamies, horrid, but they certainly are a reminder that the sleeve is there and working!

Hugs from me, just back from my run and on holiday too!

[Micoxv 276]

Hi Mico

Sorry that your o h was not supportive. I think that Jinty and Kristen have really said it all. Our partners if they have never been really overweight don't completely get what we are going through and sometimes they are not as supportive as we would like them to be. Maybe your wife is feeling a little insecure and sometimes us ladies lash out when feeling this way.

However you have got this board and all the fantastic folk here who will listen and totally get what you mean . Oh those foamies, horrid, but they certainly are a reminder that the sleeve is there and working!

Hugs from me, just back from my run and on holiday too!

Wow - talk about a slap in the face from the person who should be supporting you the most! Do you think she's insecure and concerned what your weight loss will do to your relationship? I would have a very serious discussion about how those comments are hurtful and not supportive. It's not only about weight but about being healthy! I don't think you have to be overweight to understand and be supportive. Obviously if losing weight was easy (and keeping it off) - obesity would not be an issue! 1 in 5 deaths are linked to excess weight! Some study's show 18% of deaths are related to obesity! It's not easy to lose weight and only 5% who lose on their own keep the weight off. Sorry you're not getting the support you deserve!

Hi, This is completely the case. She is worried about our future as she sees me changing a lot physically and she assumes I also change mentally. I want to be healthy, this is my main priority. My dad died at 57 after living a life of obese, heavy smoker and drinker. He saw it coming and did not want to pay attention to all the signals. I am NOT going to follow that path. To be honest, the nice side benefit is the change of image and how you are perceived. We ALL noticed that when you fit better in the "norm", things get easier. I am not going through a middle life crisis and with what happened to us a few months ago, I am there to support my wife and daughter. I can understand that with my intense travels and my new way of dressing she is worried. I am not going to be one of these guys (stereotypes) that fall for the 20's years old and start a new life. We will have a serious conversation at some point, but for now, I keep focusing on my transformation. Nothing can stop it

[Micoxv 276]

Hi Mico

Sorry that your o h was not supportive. I think that Jinty and Kristen have really said it all. Our partners if they have never been really overweight don't completely get what we are going through and sometimes they are not as supportive as we would like them to be. Maybe your wife is feeling a little insecure and sometimes us ladies lash out when feeling this way.

However you have got this board and all the fantastic folk here who will listen and totally get what you mean . Oh those foamies, horrid, but they certainly are a reminder that the sleeve is there and working!

Hugs from me, just back from my run and on holiday too!

Thank you Chris. You are right. This board is amazing and it feels great to know that you guys know when we exchange about obesity and its consequences. That is something I have never been able to discuss / exchange on before. The foamies are the painful version of the reminder that you should not cross the lane and put you in the right path. I accept them, they are important. Hugs too. I hope you enjoyed your vacation and well done for the run!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Micoxv ... I'd not read much of this thread before this morning when it popped up in my BP feed.

Just want to say I think you're doing a hell of a good job with your sleeve. Your exercise and sport program is especially impressive.

Your overall dedication and perspective re permanent lifestyle changes are spot on.

Such a smart guy!

Respect.

[Micoxv 276]

@@Micoxv ... I'd not read much of this thread before this morning when it popped up in my BP feed.

Just want to say I think you're doing a hell of a good job with your sleeve. Your exercise and sport program is especially impressive.

Your overall dedication and perspective re permanent lifestyle changes are spot on.

Such a smart guy!

Respect.

. Thank you for your nice comment. I know it sounds cheesy but should we all not get a bit more respect with our dedication and resolution to change our lives? I know that we have some differences (gender, cultural, emotional etc.) and sometimes it can lead to some intense (aggressive?) thread exchanges I´ve read here and there, as I have been browsing the forum quite intensively. A the end, we are all trying to reach the same goal, following different paths and struggles.

We congratulate and sometime admire ex drug addicts or former alcoholics for their recovery (There is a great post about this).Not obese people. We believe that it is just about eating too much. we know it is far more than that.

We are some kind of recovering addicts (otherwise we would not have head hunger), and some of us fall again in the same trap along the way. I am trying not to be in that group.... but I am only 12 weeks out. I hope I can say the same 2 years from now.

Right now, it is about rebuilding myself physically and emotionally once and for all. No more tries and failures. If I can inspire people as many of you have been inspiring, supporting and pushing me, then it is a nice way to contribute back.

I thought I was struggling alone until I found this board. Now I know there are people all over the world doing the same. Respect to all!

[chrisredjeep 357]

Lovely posts Mico !

[Micoxv 276]

hello everybody,

tomorrow is my 3 months surgeanniversary.

Here are some before at my highest and last week pictures.

Can't wait to be 6 months out

Before:

After:

Edited June 21, 2016 by Micoxv

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Mico, you've come so far.

Impressive, young man.

[chrisredjeep 357]

Hey there Mico you are looking good. When I get back home I think I might be brave enough to post before pics and how I am now. Can't believe that it's three months for you. It's 12 months for me on July 16 th. just back from running here in Cyprus and it's hot already. Time to jump in pool I think!

Well done to you !

[Micoxv 276]

Mico, you've come so far.

Impressive, young man.

Thank you! The journey is over over though, but doing great so far. I hope I will be as successful as you! your numbers are impressive.

[Micoxv 276]

Hey there Mico you are looking good. When I get back home I think I might be brave enough to post before pics and how I am now. Can't believe that it's three months for you. It's 12 months for me on July 16 th. just back from running here in Cyprus and it's hot already. Time to jump in pool I think!

Well done to you !

It did cost me a bit to put pictures, especially the before ones, as you can imagine. Soon to be your anniversary soon! good occasion to post a few pics . Enjoy the nice weather in Cyprus. Barcelona is not too bad either at this time of the year .