Help with saddnes

[marroyo 30]

Hi everyone I was sleeved on 12/15 and was in process before for about 1 year before getting my surgery. Since surgery I have been suffering from depression and anxiety. Some days are better than others. I am not sure why I feel this way. So many people are happy and I know I should be too but I am not. Will these feelings ever go away? I am so worried about long term complications and effects of having the sleeve. I just want to be happy again. Also the Hair loss has started how long will this last? I have been taking 5000 mg Biotin 2x daily and using niacin Shampoo about once per week. Any advice or suggestions or just words of encouragement would be helpful. Thanks

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[madeline121 43]

I was sleeved on February 16 and there are emotional ups and downs. What kind of complications are you worrying about? You've taken that big step and you've got this! Beginning of a healthy new life, that's what I focus on. How much have you lost?

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[marroyo 30]

My highest weight was about 220 my sw was 207 cw 175. As far as my worry I worry about the unknown like how will I be with the sleeve 20 years from now? Will u have complications then. A few of my family members have also had this surgery and are doing great but emotionally this has been so hard for me. I just want to feel better/happier.

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[madeline121 43]

Think this way....if you can stretch your stomach then what complications can there be? My worry is am I eating too much or am I losing weight? I don't see it myself but my husband tells me that I've lost weight. I think everyone worried about something because it's an emotional roller coaster. Don't think about complications in 20 years think about what you'll be able to do and what you'll be doing in 20 years that you could have never imagined doing if you hadn't lost the weight.

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Do you have a counselor or therapist?

This is a big change physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If you have been used to managing your feelings and moods, depression and anxiety with food you have got to learn some new, healthy ways to cope.

Please find a counselor or therapist to talk to.

See if you can find a bariatric support group and/or 12-step recovery group like OA (OA.org).

Follow your program.

In the meantime, try taking a walk and getting some sunshine.

I also recommend that you read a book like Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton or When food is Love by Geneen Roth.

You will get through this, and it is ok to cry.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

[marroyo 30]

Do you have a counselor or therapist?

This is a big change physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If you have been used to managing your feelings and moods, depression and anxiety with food you have got to learn some new, healthy ways to cope.

Please find a counselor or therapist to talk to.

See if you can find a bariatric support group and/or 12-step recovery group like OA (OA.org).

Follow your program.

In the meantime, try taking a walk and getting some sunshine.

I also recommend that you read a book like Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton or When food is Love by Geneen Roth.

You will get through this, and it is ok to cry.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Thank you for your support I have connected with a therapist and am feeling better than I did 1 month ago but still having times moments of regret but I'm not sure why. Everyone on this site is so supportive and encouraging I hope to feel that way to one day. It's great seeing everyone's success stories.

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[cbrr 70]

Sounds like your thoughts are sabotaging you. Remember they are just thoughts.....not reality. Your weight loss has been very good, which means you are staying with the program and doing what you're supposed to. This is not reflected in the anxious and depressive thoughts you're experiencing. You are not telling yourself, and believing, how successful you are.

I went through a period in the early 2000's where I was ruled by anxious and depressive thoughts. Not a pleasant time, so I can understand your situation. Find a therapist that practices Cognitive Therapy to help you replace the negative, fear-based thinking with positive, reality based thought. For the most part the anxious and depressive thoughts are based on thought distortions. Everyone has these to some degree.

Cognitive Therapy really does work and I can testify that it will teach you a tool to make your life more positive and reality based. Just like the sleeve is a tool we can use to lose weight, cognitive therapy can give you a tool to master your thoughts.

Good Luck

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but does not get you anywhere.

The Dali Lama said, "‘Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

I call what you are going through - Hampsters in my head.

They get in there and just run amuck, distracting me from other thoughts that are more productive, and disabling me acting on other things that would make me happy.

The hair loss is disheartening, but it is temporary. It sounds like you are doing a lot of things right, and you are getting good results. Take time to go through the postings on this link:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/page-129?hl=%2Bfinal+%2Bstraw#entry4094671

There are now 1, 287 posts about why we all put ourselves through this. As you look through it, you may see successes that you have already had. You have already lost 45 pounds and in some ways must be reaping benefits from that. Let that thread encourage you.

You did not say whether or not you are taking an anti-depressant medication. I went into depression after a stroke in 2010. I was so worried about having another stroke that I was checking my blood pressure every fifteen minutes. My doctor put me on Buproprion (Wellbutrin) and the bariatric doctor tripled the dose. It makes a difference for me and keeps me level all day.

Find a project to do. For me it was expanding my family genealogy back several more generations, through Ancestry.com. Find something to keep your hands and mind occupied.

Open the drapes. Get outside. Volunteer somewhere.

1. Decide what you would do if you could do anything in the world you wanted, and then start to do it. No matter how impossible that goal seems, if you cut it into small enough steps, you can find a way to start. Take one minute at a time.
2. Spend time doing the things you enjoy, and avoid doing things you don't. Socialize with people you like, and stay away from people you don't. Live every minute like it's your last.
3. Remember you have two choices in life. You can spend the next five minutes being happy, or the next five minutes being sad. Whether happy or sad, you are using the same amount of energy in that five minutes.
4. Work at a place you enjoy and where you like most of the people. It's depressing if you don't like your job or the people there.
5. Acquaint yourself with your mood ebb and flow and embrace it. If you have more energy in the morning, utilize mornings.
6. Maintain a regular schedule - awake at the same time each morning, take your meds at the same time, go to sleep at the same time.
7. Have fun and laugh often. Rent funny movies. Laugh and smile often. It's contagious.
8. Get a puppy - or two.
9. Come here often for support and let us know how you do.

[breezy25 69]

I think that in some way we mourn our relationship with food. If you're like me, you use it to soothe yourself and now you don't have that crutch anymore so it sort of just all comes out.

I suffer from anxiety badly so I understand how you feel. I have recently stopped taking my meds (lexapro) because over the course of a year I gained 50 lbs! Having said that, I think an anti depressant is a good idea - Wellbutrin is a good one for people because it doesn't lead to weight gain.

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[Emmasue53 35]

I felt the same way. I was sleeved on 12/15/2015 and the week after surgery I wanted to die I was so miserable, I was barely eating or drinking and I would not get out of bed, that feeling went on for about a month and a half. But then one day I snapped out of it I started to regain my energy. I began being able to tolerate food and liquids and I just got my life back and I haven't looked back ever since. I know it's hard now but you will get through this. Trust me I thought I was a helpless case but I made it and you will too!!!!

[marroyo 30]

I so appreciate all the support. Last couple of days has been really hard. Still dealing with depression not sure why. I want to be happy with my changes but I can't help how I feel. This has been such an emotionally journey for me. I just want to feel happy again

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[meatpie 25]

I think sometimes pre op we blame how we feel and why we are not where we want to be in life on our weight eg "i would be happy if I wasn't fat; I'd be confident to travel/swim/whatever if I wasn't fat". I'm coming to realize that for most people the fatness really wasn't the problem, it's just the excuse... So when the fatness is going and the feelings remain the same I think it can be easy to emotionally spiral.

The small things are imperative with depression/anxiety- create a routine, eat regularly balanced meals, sleep hygiene, excersise and see the sun daily, talk to a qualified therapist- learn to identify and challenge negative thoughts and behaviors.

Be proud of yourself, you have chosen to give yourself the gift of health, keep choosing yourself and speak to yourself kindly.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

my PCP said to get Protein on everything. she recommended adding powdered milk on to non Protein foods. She has had several patients, and her sister come through without loosing their hair after sleeve with this plan. 1. I am thankful she has been so supportive and 2. I am going to give it a try.

[jmg79 10]

My highest weight was about 220 my sw was 207 cw 175. As far as my worry I worry about the unknown like how will I be with the sleeve 20 years from now? Will u have complications then. A few of my family members have also had this surgery and are doing great but emotionally this has been so hard for me. I just want to feel better/happier.

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My depression/anxiety was well controlled before my surgery and now it's back, so I can understand. I have the same thoughts you do about the future. My husband had gastric bypass 2 weeks before me and he is doing SO good and feeling great. My nurse told me this week that generally the sleeve is harder for the 1st 3 months than the bypass (and I originally wanted the bypass but my surgeon suggested sleeve). Would have been nice to know before surgery. I have hopes that it will get better- not feeling yourself mentally or physically can be miserable.

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[marroyo 30]

My highest weight was about 220 my sw was 207 cw 175. As far as my worry I worry about the unknown like how will I be with the sleeve 20 years from now? Will u have complications then. A few of my family members have also had this surgery and are doing great but emotionally this has been so hard for me. I just want to feel better/happier.

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My depression/anxiety was well controlled before my surgery and now it's back, so I can understand. I have the same thoughts you do about the future. My husband had gastric bypass 2 weeks before me and he is doing SO good and feeling great. My nurse told me this week that generally the sleeve is harder for the 1st 3 months than the bypass (and I originally wanted the bypass but my surgeon suggested sleeve). Would have been nice to know before surgery. I have hopes that it will get better- not feeling yourself mentally or physically can be miserable.

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I totally agree

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