I want my families support in me doing the surgery. What do you say if people ask "why can't you just eat less?" "Just exercise more" blah blah blah. I want to give them a real answer. How do I explain obesity is a real medical condition that needs treatment? I can't just over come it with positive thoughts. They also think my depression isn't real and I need to cheer up, look on the brightside, appreciate what I have etc..

I wouldn't even tell people like that.

Why do you have to tell them if you're concerned about their reactions? I only told my mom, sister and husband. I haven't shared this with everyone else because I don't need their approval, or unwanted advice. If you feel like you have to tell them, then let them know ahead of time that if they don't have anything nice to say, they shouldn't say anything at all.

It's only my mom and dad. We are super close, ita complicated. I wouldn't want to hurt them by not telling them. They think they are looking out for my best interest because the risk of surgery scares them. Plus they helped me buy my house and car etc so I think I owe it to them to listen to their opinion. I just wish I could get them to understand the medical side. They are both really thin so they don't get it.

People who think depression can be cured with happy thoughts don't deserve and won't even understand your explanation of why you need surgery. Don't even try.

It's only my mom and dad. We are super close, ita complicated. I wouldn't want to hurt them by not telling them. They think they are looking out for my best interest because the risk of surgery scares them. Plus they helped me buy my house and car etc so I think I owe it to them to listen to their opinion. I just wish I could get them to understand the medical side. They are both really thin so they don't get it.

Do they live near you?

If so, one thing you can do is to invite one or both of them to attend some of your appointments or nutrition classes with you.

Ask them how many obese people they see walking around at 80 or even 75.

Show them the statistics. 1% of obese people lose weight on their own 99% DIE after complications beyond 50 years of age.

Tell them how much you've already done and tried on your own.

Cry and plead for their support.

You'll get it...

They think they are looking out for my best interest because the risk of surgery scares them. Plus they helped me buy my house and car etc so I think I owe it to them to listen to their opinion. I just wish I could get them to understand the medical side. They are both really thin so they don't get it.

It's wonderful that you and your parents have such a close relationship, but you probably owe them money for the house and car. You don't owe your soul or your health.

I'll make a wild guess that, because they are thin, they've been after you to lose weight and have watched you make efforts with no lasting result. All they need to "get" -- and not really, as it's your body and your life, not theirs -- is that you want surgery. If you needed a kidney transplant, would they try to talk you out of it for fear of surgery? Weight loss surgery is about all facets of your well-being.

If so, one thing you can do is to invite one or both of them to attend some of your appointments or nutrition classes with you.

That's an excellent idea. Also ask them to accompany you to a couple of support group meetings given by your chosen surgery practice or another in your area. They'll have a chance to listen and talk with people who have had surgery or are in the decision-making process.

I am less concerned with them understanding...it's important that YOU understand. It puzzled me for decades how I could succeed in so many ways, but not manage my own weight and eating! It was very...cathartic to understand the obesity disease process. Do some research on this..it helps explain much of that irrational"drive to eat"...

My surgeon told me that most patients that do or are able to lose weight on their own, with therapy, or with medications do gain the weight back plus some within 5 years of losing. It is also harder for obese people to lose weight on their own compared to those who are simply overweight. This surgery is a last option for most of us, and im sure you already have tried it on your own and gained weight back.