So far only my husband and 18year old daughter know about my surgery. My 2 little boys are too young to tell. Not telling anyone else. I feel that I don't want to explain myself 100 plus times to anyone as to why I'm losing weight and why my drastic decision of wls. Plus I have very judgemental coworkers. Still undecided? Has anyone told close friends and family to only regret doing it!!?

I am also trying to look at the other side as well. I can handle if someone doesn't like it or is snarky but what if being honest about it causes even one person to go through with as well and save their health. Sometimes all it takes is to see one person not ashamed and then others will join in! if I can change one persons life then the shade from haters is SO worth it!

I am also trying to look at the other side as well. I can handle if someone doesn't like it or is snarky but what if being honest about it causes even one person to go through with as well and save their health. Sometimes all it takes is to see one person not ashamed and then others will join in! if I can change one persons life then the shade from haters is SO worth it!

Yep! I have two people that are watching and may do the surgery in the future. Very good point about not being ashamed, I have had that happen to me and their not being ashamed help me find some help I needed.

I opted to only tell my immediate family and only a couple of close friends. I knew I would need their support, and so far they have been very supportive. As far as work, they all know I have a hernia that needs repaired after my oophorectomy / pelvic mass removal so they already expect me to be out for that. I gradually put on my last 100 pounds over the course of 10 years and never threw away any of my clothes so luckily with the exception of pants, I have tops and blouses to get me through my 1st 100 pound loss. A few people at my job have already had WLS and honestly they were my inspiration so I agree that maybe it would be a decision I make to let work know eventually know so I can inspire someone else.

5 years ago my sis didn't tell many people. She told our dad, her husband and myself. She told our mom the day of surgery by voicemail. Of course mom told grandma and by the time my sister came home everyone knew. So I learned not to say much and Please keep It Private is something I am serious about.

I just told my husband that the Dr. Told me to consider surgery. I asked him to not tell anyone, that it might upset my daughter (age 13) . She worries too much, but it may be because I am a little embarassed. My husband's family is very judgmental. His mom doesn't even want to be seen with me in public.

I hope after you reach goal that you still don't go in public with her and she finds out it's because you're too ashamed to be seen with someone like her.

I've just started the journey towards WLS, and have had my first couple of appointments.

Right now I feel I don't want to tell anybody at all! Except my mother who is supportive, and my husband who is not, but will come around. That's for another post

Because frankly, I don't want to be DEFINED by this surgery. I've seen it firsthand that once you're the "oh she lost all that weight because she had the gastric bypass" girl that's the first thing people see, and the first line of any description of you.

It's almost as though the achievement of weight loss is diminished... I mean, we don't go around saying "she lost all that weight on a raw diet" or "he looks good because of paleo", and if we DO say that, it's with pride and respect! Yet when someone tells me so-and-so had WLS, it's done with a sort of "oh well, if that's the only way she could do it" kind of shrug. As though the act of losing the weight post-surgery wasn't the hard work we here know it is.

So all this being said, I guess I'm still worried about being judged and found wanting. I guess I do still care what other people think.

I prefer to be defined by the whole life I have lived this far, not one choice. After all, I'm not merely a before and after weight loss story, I'm a whole collection of experiences, including a wide mix of decisions that have brought me to this place in life.

I think one thing that we all have to remember is that we are educated now on how this works because we have done the research, we will do the work so we alone know how hard this will be. I have to admit before I myself did the research and decided on it, I also had the opinion that WLS was the easy way out. I think as long as we remember that and remember that that others people's opinions dont matter because we all know for ourselves what we will or have done to be successful at this, we can all get through this. I'm also a little sassy and won't hesitate to tell anyone who tells me I took the easy way out that they are dead wrong and until they've walked in my shoes they can keep their judgemental comments to themselves .Lol.

Thank you Paula'sVSGLife. I can't be too mad, she is 72 in bad health and my husband's mom. I just try not to think about it.

@@scubagirlblues That's a great way to put it. You are you because of your choices. Thank you for that.

I've been fat pretty much all 27 years I've been on this earth. I've been considering this surgery for almost 5 years and I'm lucky the people I have told are supportive. Now that I'm making decisions on the surgery and moving forward I've decided to tell a handful of people but post surgery I will not lie to anyone that asks. In general I'm a private person but also I'm also the kind of person people don't openly share negative opinions to. I don't expect someone to tell me they disapprove but if they do I honestly don't care. This is about me and my health - I asked the people that really matter in my life and their support is overwhelming. For those of you who have people who are negative about your decision I think you're right not have the conversation with them. This is a decision that should be exciting and it will be difficult enough without others' negativity.

I totally agree with you!!