I am being sleeved on 12/21/2015 – would it be a BAD idea to go the family Christmas get together? (They don’t know I am getting sleeved)

[Scottyd1264 73]

I am not sure how I am going to feel

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

[dlappjr 467]

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

Not always true. I have kept it under wraps pretty good. Only because I didn't care to hear everyone sudden expertise on the subject. I don't give 2 sh!ts what someones sisters, neighbors, cousins uncle had and failed at.

Oh, and I would say probably best to skip it. you will only have been home for a couple days and not really be ready to interact. I remember needing the bathroom a few times in a pinch and I wouldn't want to do that around everyone.

Edited December 11, 2015 by dlappjr

[Rachel Pittsburgh 29]

I agree that you should not go! I would call the family in the morning of the get-together and say you are not feeling well. Honestly, you will need your rest and if someone bumps you, hugs you or the dog jumps on you...you will be in pain and then you would have to share your story.

I'm sorry that you don't feel comfortable to share with your family your new journey. You will need support and i hope you have a support or great friends to help you.

Take care,

Rachel

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

Not every female feels this way but given the fact that women are more likely to be fat shamed than men, it's understandable.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I am not sure how I am going to feel

It really depends on how you are feeling and if you thing you can handle not eating. At 4 days post-op I would have been okay going but I barely wanted to sip my Protein Shakes. Not because I didn't like them, but because I honestly wasn't interested in food at that point. So if seeing others eating & drinking won't trigger bad feelings, then go and enjoy your family.

[KarenLoh 128]

Physically, I would have felt fine getting out and going for a short time - but it would be impossible for me to not explain why I was sipping Water and Protein shakes instead of eating. I guess you could say your stomach is upset and you don't feel like eating anything...

And personally, I told everyone. Don't care about comments and didn't get hardly any anyway. Good luck.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

not sure how I am going to feel

@@Scottyd1264

if you feel good in the morning of the party - go for it

remember - after a while of standing around at a party you MIGHT start to feel weak

i agree with @@Rachel Pittsburgh - i would give your apologies, say you just aren't feeling up to a party (might be catching a cold - exhausted in general from work etc)

you've chosen not to tell others (many many people on the board are with you in the same boat, no one has sank yet LOLOLOL)

good luck with surgery

speedy recovery

don't understand female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

@@Proud2BMe

hey dude

kudos on loosing 170 lbs!!!

that's great

very popular subject on the board - to tell or not to tell, did you tell others...etc

many more ways to say the same subject

some men and women lllllove to tell everyone they are having WLS

very excited/happy about their future

some want to keep their surgery a secret (worried about what others might say or think etc)

don't know if there is a poll on who keeps surgery a secret more often

men or women

might be interesting

kathy

[M!@ 320]

I would second what others have said. Go if you feel up to it. I was back at work at day 4, but it is to each his or her own. No one asked why I was not eating when I went to a family gather the at 7 days out. I did carry my Water but not the Protein. In fact I help to serve the food to stay busy.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

Don't go but don't lie, just say you have an upset tummy

[KeepCalm 223]

You're getting sleeved on my birthday!

I agree with the other comments though - you might be to tired and sore to go.

Maybe wait to see how you feel on the day of, but like grammy said - you might start to feel tired after standing around for awhile...

[Sophie74656 1,572]

at 4 days post op the way I felt I would NOT go. I was not feeling terrible, but I was feeling like I just had major surgery 4 days ago.

Don't forget that you are having major surgery, your body is going to be healing, you are going to be very tired.Just about everyone here can tell you, that you will be VERY weak for a while.

If it was me I would say I was not feeling well and skip it

[Miss Mac 6,262]

I was sleeved on 12/23/2013 and came home on Christmas Day. My family knew I was having the surgery so we just pushed it on to Saturday, January 5th. By then, all the main celebrating was done and I presented my gifts to my grandchildren and then came back home. Had I been in your shoes with the crowd not knowing, I would have begged off with the excuse that I was having tummy troubles and need to stay close to my own toilet. I really did not have any kind of energy until I started regular foods at one month.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

@ProudGranny

I haven't quite got to 170 lbs loss yet. So far I've lost 142 lbs. I will eventually though!

Yeah it would be interesting to study the different attitudes toward weight loss surgery among the sexes.

I know for myself I've never viewed weight loss surgery as shameful or something to hide. I think what is shameful is the lengths we all went with regard to binging and hiding our eating disorders from people. Eating a whole box of twinkies or an entire birthday cake is shameful. Taking steps to become healthy is not shameful in my book. And I don't want to send the wrong message to other obese people who are struggling. But to each their own.

[psychprof 141]

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

That's kind of a privilege of being a male. Overweight women are pariahs--we are assumed to be lazy, have weak character, etc. I'm not telling anyone (not a single person) because people are nasty, judgmental, rude... I don't need anyone telling me how to eat, or what I should or shouldn't do about my body. For some reason though it happens all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" "Have you ever bought a slow cooker? You can just fill it up with lean Proteins and vegetables in the morning and have a healthy meal at the end of the day!" "I can show you some easy workout routines." These things are always UNSOLICITED.

Most recently, a blonde haired plastic Barbie approached me at target to give me her husband's business card. It was very strange but I took it and gave an awkward "thanks..." And as she walked away, I looked down to see that her husband is a Bariatric surgeon. It was this moment that did in fact inspire me to look into WLS, but not because of her recommendation (I am certainly not seeing that surgeon). But because I'm so tired of being judged by other women.

I'm only 90 lbs overweight. I can't imagine how other heavier women manage.

I don't want my identity to be defined by my WLS or my weight period. It is for this reason that I refuse to tell anyone.