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Well, no surprise. Mr. Wonderful pulled a stunt, refused to sign, made a new list of demands, and there is no agreement as we go into court tomorrow morning. It's in the judge's hands now.

I'm amazingly calm. Did all the preparation I could. Thank you all for your support. I'll carry it with me tomorrow.

JustWatchMe

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done.

You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too.

Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through.

Liz

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Thanks, Liz. ❤️

JustWatchMe

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OMG , I am so sorry. hope you have a good judge who will see Mr. Wonderful for who and what he is.

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We are all standing silently behind you as you calmly and maturely proceed through HIS issues. On the bright side, so glad you are away from such a manipulating man...soon I hope this is in your rear view mirror . There is a lot ahead .

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The WOO HOO heard round the world!!! It's done. I'm an ex!!

I spent four hours in a conference room before the trial negotiating with, for lack of a better word, the terrorist. We settled at 3pm and signed at 3:30pm. We avoided trial. The judge accepted our settlement and declared us divorced.

I fought for, and got, all of the provisions I wanted in the agreement, including taxes, tuition, insurance for the girls, and more. He didn't wear me down and I didn't give in on points my lawyer thought were tradable but I did not.

I have not felt this powerful in years. My new life has truly begun.

Thank you all for your support. I felt you with me today.

JustWatchMe

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so happy for you. Also so very proud of you for staying strong. it's very difficult no matter what the circumstances to get divorced . You now can concentrate on your future.

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@@JustWatchMe You are FREE!!!!! What great news! You have been through the ringer for sure!

You did great!

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I for one am soooo excited for you to start your new life. I expect it will be wonderful!!

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I am just publicly declaring to you guys that I will NOT buy Halloween candy until the actual day; I shall buy what I DONT like, and I shall get rid of it shortly thereafter. BOO... not. Boo hoo.. just my coping strategy after many years of trial and error. Good luck to us all ![emoji260][emoji316][emoji316]

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Omg omg omg I just put an offer on a house. I'm so scared and excited!!!

JustWatchMe

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@@JustWatchMe so exciting! Good luck!

@@Julie norton right there with you. I am one of those mean house that give out candy from the big bag of junk food that's all sugar and suckers and nothing I want to eat. I put it all in a big cauldron and leave it out front for the kids to take. Most of the time it's still pretty full by the end of the day, and I bag it up and send it out to the troops.

After all my health issues over the last 6 months. I am going for a barium swallow tomorrow and hopefully will get a small fill in my band and see if we can start this thing again. I haven't been "sick" for over a month now so I think I'm in the clear. Need to start setting goals and focusing on my health...spend so much time taking care of everyone and everything else I have lost sight of me.

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I got the house! I move in three weeks! My head is spinning.

JustWatchMe

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Wow, am I ever glad I dropped by today -- what a boatload of great news! So happy for you @@JustWatchMe -- yippee!

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JWM. What a life changing decision! Congratulations on moving forward. Hope it is all you want it to be.

It is lots of fun thinking about furniture placement, Wall color etc.

it is NOT food focused , which helps in the big picture of maintenance ...

(However moving can be a big pain in the as*)

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After more than two years of my life being on hold, financially being held hostage, it is incredible how life has changed in only two weeks. Before, things moved too slowly. Now, things are moving incredibly fast! But it's all good. It feels good to feel good again.

JustWatchMe

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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