Why Getting Sleeved was the Biggest Mistake of My Life

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

You can say whatever you want and copy my post so it's kept on here as many times as you'd like. And oh, don't forget the short posts where you personally attack me and contribute nothing to the original post, so you can inflate your post count. Truth is... You don't know my identity and reading your negative remarks, I don't think I ever would want to associate with you.

I realize how pointless it was to post on here after receiving such feedback, except for those of you who were positive and encouraging - thank you!!! I've reported several posts hoping that this website is monitored somehow and that my account is deleted.

This doesn't need to turn into a go-back-and-forth thread... I don't know about your life noticing how much you post on here, but I lead a very busy professional life and would never stoop down to the level of your trivial arguments - that have little to do with the original post/point. So, I'm only going to say one last thing and will ignore all future responses: You became obese and I became obese because of our eating habits - for example, "emotional eating"... You were abused as a child, you weren't loved enough or the way you wanted, you eat out of depression/boredom - whatever the cause may be. Something went wrong - could be psychological or physical (disease, disability, etc.) Now, did you become obese because of the size of your stomach? Uh, probably not, because it wasn't initially huge. I think you're looking at the end of the thread here - which is not very intelligent. Our sleeves target our obesity by altering our stomachs, not the original cause of the problem, and I think that's were surgical approaches are flawed. And if you've really had time to develop good nutritional habits and a workout plan (like some people mentioned they have and I didn't), then you seriously don't need surgery, especially since as mentioned in my original post, there is no way losing 18 lbs in 1 month off of a 198 body is all fat. If you believe that, then I really don't know what can help you. All I'm saying is that we should be targeting the issue by looking at its cause - help people have a mental shift to develop good habits. Am I a nutritional expert, obviously not - I'm a sleeved failure as you've indirectly mentioned and it's a good and serious question why I'm still overweight... What you don't know is that I have a history of self abuse and lately due to certain circumstances in my life mimicking a dark past that the self abuse originated from, it all has gotten worse. So I have been pretty much eating extremely poorly - starving myself and then having all junk and forcing my body to have DS because I know how to trigger it - pathetic, right? I don't need you to make fun or feel sorry for me. All I want out of that post - which I now regret because of the hurtful comments and how you said I victimize myself, is for people to think about the root cause before doing something that may make them hate themselves more - having complications, losing so much muscle and having bad/loose skin/poor body composition, low energy, becoming anemic, needing Iron transfusions (which I have gone through) etc... I am now seeking pscothepray and a personal weight trainer who has been kind enough to listen to my story and is touched to help me on a personal and a fitness level. I am an all or none person in everything I do so I've been tracking my calories for the past week - meticulously (macros and all) and reporting to my coach and eating super clean. Walking 8,000 steps during my 3 work breaks and feeling much better - psychologically if not anything else!

I just hope you realize that there is no need to personally attack me. Maybe my journey was a little more complicated than most people's on here and like you said, it's all subjective/opinion and there is not one reason why you should heed my advice. I am an INFJ personality so I kind of expected for most people to not relate, but I thought maybe if one person did and gave it a second thought, I would be helping someone like me out there. End of story.

Well, that's a whole lotta new info.

Once again, you experienced your experience. And you understand things from your perspective (based on what you think you know). But there's a lot you misunderstand and don't know.

As others have noted, your lack of knowledge revealed in your OP about how WLS patients can retain most of their muscle mass (or even increase their muscle mass) while losing weight is unfortunate -- not just because it's wrong and sad, but because you're using it to rationalize your own experience. And that and your other rationalizations will block your future progress.

Before I had WLS surgery, I did learn about the nutritional and exercise best practices for post-op WLS patients. I learned that post-op while losing weight I should eat a lot of Protein and exercise regularly to avoid losing a lot of muscle mass.

And it turns out, because I followed my bariatric center's instructions, that's exactly what happened. Of the 90+ pounds I've lost after WLS only 12 pounds of it was muscle. I'm not guessing or assuming this. I've had pre- and post-WLS body mass measurements taken. As a result, my lean body mass has increased 15%.

BTW, all of the things you started doing 1 week ago (3 years after your WLS) -- tracking your calories and other macronutrients and tracking your steps -- I started doing 2.5 months before my WLS. In other words, I never considered that WLS alone was going to fix me without me also changing my own behaviors / lifestyle.

I'm sorry that WLS didn't work out for you. For that, you have only your own impulsiveness and your continuing lack of education about WLS to blame. But that's in the past. Looking forward, you'll be well served by not continuing to remain ignorant. More importantly, your rationalizations about WLS won't serve you well either. If you really want to debug your weight challenges, you'll need to keep trying to understand accurately what caused your post-op weight gain.

For others reading this, the OP's posts here illustrate some important truths about WLS:

(1) WLS should not be undertaken lightly.

(2) WLS patients MUST take responsibility for understanding nutritional, exercise and other behavioral requirements for post-op self-care.

(3) WLS can be a wonderful aid to losing and maintaining one's weight loss long-term IF patients don't suffer the delusion that surgery is all they need to achieve success.

Best wishes to everyone out there who's considering WLS. Educate yourself as much as you possibly can. Seek therapy if you need it. As the saying around here goes, "They operate on your stomach, not your head."

[JamieLogical 8,684]

What does getting WLS have to do with losing muscle mass? Everyone I've ever seen/talked to has been instructed by their surgeon and medical team to increase exercise post-op. As long as you are exercising and not JUST relying on the eating restriction to lose weight, you will retain muscle while losing fat. My body fat percentage went from almost 50% to under 25% and I still weigh over 170 pounds (I'm 5'6").

[tomi71 581]

Troll

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am genuinely sorry you haven't experienced lasting success post WLS. I went through that - I lost about 70 pounds with the band, regained it all plus a whole crap load more. Most on this forum know the emotional pain of losing and regaining huge amounts of weight (I had ton it before too) but somehow having it post WLS is even more... devastating. I was in my 30s when I had the lapband, I made a genuine effort to educate myself pre surgery, I tried very hard post surgery and yet I failed. In hindsight, a big part of the problem is that tool never worked well for me and the side effects made my life hell (talk about reflux - I had to sleep upright if I had ANY fill!) but also that I just didn't have all the pieces together myself either.

While i am in the minority, I actually agree with much of your sentiment. WLS is not a miracle cure and even though we all say we know it's "just a tool" in reality many don't understand that the tool doesn't work very well over time. It works great at first, and then one day you realize... holy crap... this REALLY IS just a tool and I can regain weight even with my tiny tummy.

I am always in the minority opinion on this one - but I also am "uncomfortable" with younger/not as heavy people diving into weight loss surgery. Especially if they really haven't seriously tried lifestyle/behavioral programs. In fact, when I was revised to the sleeve, I was looking for a long term behavior program. I had the good luck to be screened by the director of a 2 year program who told me that my disease of obesity was far too advanced and she felt I would not be successful in her program (I was late 40s and at least 150# overweight and had been obese or overweight many many years).

However, much of your other information shared is not correct and is misleading and while I don't intend this as a criticism, I don't want newbies to read it and not comprehend the misstatements of fact. (Everyone is entitled to their opnions - but not their own version of the facts!!!)

Muscle loss is an important topic no matter HOW you lose weight. strength and muscle building (and aerobic) exercise is more about MAINTENANCE than it is about weight loss. why is that? If you don't maintain (or regain after losing) muscle mass your metabolism drops and it is really much harder to maintain.

I lost a crudload of weight post sleeve and I think I look GREAT. People who didn't know me before are always shocked that I lost so much because I look healthy and athletic (thats a joke!) like I have been trim and active my whole life. That "looking old and unhealthy" is a complete myth. I have had people look at my before (age 48) and after (50) photos tell me that I now look like my "before" pictures daughter. That is how much younger I look post weight loss.

I think many people who are dissatisfied with their looks, dissatisfied with having a smaller tummy (for me a blessing!) are in truth struggling with other, underlying issues such as dismorphia etc. Don't get me wrong, I have "issues" - ha! As a wise woman once said on these forums "you don't get to 300# and not have SOMETHING going on contributing to this". The physical disease process of obesity is the rollercoaster i couldn't get off without surgery, but the "issues" contributed to me getting there in the first place. The difference is i am now mature enough to seriously face that emotional stuff. Not perfect, but getting better and better.

Good luck in your future and know that you can regain good health quite readily by going back to basics as far as eating (sleever rules!) AND by exercising and becoming active. Perhaps focus less on the scale and focus more on good health.

[MarceMonster 161]

You can say whatever you want and copy my post so it's kept on here as many times as you'd like. And oh, don't forget the short posts where you personally attack me and contribute nothing to the original post, so you can inflate your post count. Truth is... You don't know my identity and reading your negative remarks, I don't think I ever would want to associate with you.

I realize how pointless it was to post on here after receiving such feedback, except for those of you who were positive and encouraging - thank you!!! I've reported several posts hoping that this website is monitored somehow and that my account is deleted.

This doesn't need to turn into a go-back-and-forth thread... I don't know about your life noticing how much you post on here, but I lead a very busy professional life and would never stoop down to the level of your trivial arguments - that have little to do with the original post/point. So, I'm only going to say one last thing and will ignore all future responses: You became obese and I became obese because of our eating habits - for example, "emotional eating"... You were abused as a child, you weren't loved enough or the way you wanted, you eat out of depression/boredom - whatever the cause may be. Something went wrong - could be psychological or physical (disease, disability, etc.) Now, did you become obese because of the size of your stomach? Uh, probably not, because it wasn't initially huge. I think you're looking at the end of the thread here - which is not very intelligent. Our sleeves target our obesity by altering our stomachs, not the original cause of the problem, and I think that's were surgical approaches are flawed. And if you've really had time to develop good nutritional habits and a workout plan (like some people mentioned they have and I didn't), then you seriously don't need surgery, especially since as mentioned in my original post, there is no way losing 18 lbs in 1 month off of a 198 body is all fat. If you believe that, then I really don't know what can help you. All I'm saying is that we should be targeting the issue by looking at its cause - help people have a mental shift to develop good habits. Am I a nutritional expert, obviously not - I'm a sleeved failure as you've indirectly mentioned and it's a good and serious question why I'm still overweight... What you don't know is that I have a history of self abuse and lately due to certain circumstances in my life mimicking a dark past that the self abuse originated from, it all has gotten worse. So I have been pretty much eating extremely poorly - starving myself and then having all junk and forcing my body to have DS because I know how to trigger it - pathetic, right? I don't need you to make fun or feel sorry for me. All I want out of that post - which I now regret because of the hurtful comments and how you said I victimize myself, is for people to think about the root cause before doing something that may make them hate themselves more - having complications, losing so much muscle and having bad/loose skin/poor body composition, low energy, becoming anemic, needing Iron transfusions (which I have gone through) etc... I am now seeking pscothepray and a personal weight trainer who has been kind enough to listen to my story and is touched to help me on a personal and a fitness level. I am an all or none person in everything I do so I've been tracking my calories for the past week - meticulously (macros and all) and reporting to my coach and eating super clean. Walking 8,000 steps during my 3 work breaks and feeling much better - psychologically if not anything else!

I just hope you realize that there is no need to personally attack me. Maybe my journey was a little more complicated than most people's on here and like you said, it's all subjective/opinion and there is not one reason why you should heed my advice. I am an INFJ personality so I kind of expected for most people to not relate, but I thought maybe if one person did and gave it a second thought, I would be helping someone like me out there. End of story.

The problem here is in your original post you "spoke" as if your experience was factual. Most people do not have surgery two weeks after deciding they want to. For instance it took me close to a year before I was approved for surgery. I had to see a nutritionist for 6 months to learn proper eating habits, I saw a psychologist for 7 months before surgery, and I started at the gym 3 months before surgery, also I did a ton of research on my own. I don't think people mean to attack you personally, but you could be causing damage to some other vulnerable person by creating a post riddled with factual errors. Yes as you said earlier so far you have failed your sleeve, your sleeve did not fail you. So once again, any newbies thinking about surgery realize it's a hard road, and that some people just aren't up for it, but that overall most people are successful, healthier, happy people. I am happy than I have ever been, I am down almost 40 lbs, a exercise more, have more energy, MORE MUSCLE, and actually my marriage has even improved because my husband has taken the time to learn everything with me and support me all the way. Please, please, don't trust this women's ideas of WLS.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I believe I understand your intention with this remark, but I can't help but mention that those in the first 2 years post op have very little understanding of the experience at the longer term mark. I will be 4 years post op in December and this year has been much tougher maintaining then the first 2-3 years were. I keep asking myself, have I slipped back to old bad habits? Maybe a little, but i think it is more that I am living like a "normal" middle aged American woman and look around, alot of them could stand to lose 20 or 50.

I am bouncing around 5-10 over goal and not happy about it, but my efforts to knock them back off haven't been very successful...

I am very very happy that I still wear single digit clothing and look like a normal, not obese person though... and I am continuing to work it - with the first goal being to NOT regain any more...

I am sorry, but there is one more thing I need to add: if you are so sure about the right way to lose weight, why aren't you losing weight? You are three years out, if you followed those simple rules you laid out, why have you gained 25 lbs?

[jess9395 5,448]

Yeah re the loss of lean body mass--

At 271 I was almost 70% fat and 30% lean body mass. That's 189lbs of fat and 81lbs lean body mass.

Over 18 months out I am now 135 and 18% body fat which is 24lbs fat and 110lbs lean body mass. So I have actually GAINED muscle by keeping my Protein up, running and yoga.

And I get the people surprised I haven't always been slim when they meet me.

[LisaPunkinHead 187]

It is unfortunate that you did not have the results you wanted from your surgery, whatever those desired results were. Many of us want health and energy and for our knees to no longer ache. When I was 24 (and still a size 6) all I wanted was a husband and my bachelor's degree. So I know that, had I been a candidate by virtue of my BMI, I would not have been nearly in the mindset that would have led to success with bariatric surgery. I think it's unfortunate that you were able to go do it in 2 weeks -- obviously the surgeon did not require a psych evaluation.

I also find it amusing that the link you posted was to a diet page. With the headline "diets don't work." And then it goes down to give a diet. If you desire to believe the rubbish on that page, then it's okay. But if what you believed were not true, wouldn't you want to know?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

While I have made it clear that I think many of the "facts" presented aren't really facts but opinion. Another example - calorie math that 1pound = 3500 cals for example has a lot of flaws. I should weight about zero by now if it were true.

I also think that many of the responses were unkind, unnecarily harsh and missed the main point. The original poster regrets the sleeve, hasn't had long term success and is suggesting another way especially for younger/less obese people. You may not agree with that opinion, may not like the way it was expressed, but I think people do a dis service by "poo pooing" negative experiences.

I know of longer term sleevers who no longer actively post who struggle with weight regain and are disappointed too. Why don't you hear from them - they don't need the judgement and crap thrown back at them by people who are currently experiencing success.

I would not want a newbie to be turned off to considering WLS based on one persons experience, however, I do think the heartfelt message shared should give ANYBODY a bit of "food for thought" about the long term consequences of the sleeve or any other WLS.

You know, our attitude is often shaped by our results. I sometimes have minor digestive problems post sleeve - I don't even think about it, consider it a negative or complication because my overall quality of life has moved up the scale about a million points. If I didn't feel so positively about my results - i might view those "side effects" very negatively too. I also think that we have different experiences. I don't gurlge, burb, whistel or anything like that although when I am hungry my tummy is prone to rumble. Most new friends don't even know I have WLS surgery. I am just a light eater who goes easy on the carbs to maintain my "figure".

Anyway, the OP is gonna do what she is gonna do and I think deep down we all want the very best for her. Don't be so defensive about the rest. We all have to find our own path and the process ain't always pretty is it?

[BigViffer 3,544]

Jesus, it looks like Charles Dickens is posting on BariatricPal nowadays. People are writing books.

Don't get me wrong, I like reading. Just not when it is a bunch of worthless pulp. So for newcomers to this thread, let me summarize it for you:

Original Poster:

I had gastric surgery long before I was mature enough for it.

I didn't do what I was supposed to do post surgery.

I never lost as much as I wanted.

If I can find one person to agree with me, then it's not really my fault.

Everyone Else:

You weren't ready for the surgery.

You didn't do what you should have post surgery.

You would have if you followed directions.

Most of us don't agree with you.

Go back to basics, find some friends who can give you the support you must need.

[Babbs 14,680]

Everyone Else:

You weren't ready for the surgery.

You didn't do what you should have post surgery.

You would have if you followed directions.

Most of us don't agree with you

Yeah, no. If that's what you got out of some of the responses, then you really didn't read them.

[hockeyfan7 249]

Permanent? Well duh! I don't think anyone who had a sleeve went into it not knowing they were having anywhere from 75% to 85% of their stomach removed. It's not like it can be glued back on.

You asked "You want to live with only 15-20% of your stomach and eat 4-6 ounces of food at a time? Forever?" Well yes, actually I do. That's what I signed up for. But I can eat more than 6 oz of food at a time. I can eat 6 oz of Protein and a serving of vegetables like a salad or some zucchini or green Beans.

I don't need to eat a whole large pizza and a bag of potato chips like I used to. I don't need to eat ice cream and Cookies and candy bars. I feel so much better eating steak and salad.

And I'm not in the least bit deprived. Yesterday for lunch I had a broiled lobster tail with a small salad.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but that doesn't mean the rest of us feel that way. And it doesn't mean someone going into the surgery will feel the same way. Actually I'd rather have most of my stomach missing than be dead which is where I was headed. And a lot of other people have that same situation.

I only wish I had done this in my 20s. I missed a lot of my life being morbidly obese.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

The moral of the story is THINK before you leap. I'm not gonna waste the battery life of my phone to go any further.

Oh yeah, I have zero acid reflux.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't understand why the response to the original post is so vitriolic. I for one can't agree or disagree with much of the post because it's her personal experience. She thinks she rushed into this? Maybe she did. That's for her to decide and own and seems like she is.

I have no problem with her opinion or her expression of her experience. I *DO* have a problem when opinion is presented as FACT.

[ylluz 151]

PREACH!!!!