So I have made the decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery. I also have decided to be very selective on who I share my journey with. A couple of reasons why I decided to keep my sleeve somewhat secret is mainly because I don't want to deal with other peoples opinions on what I have decided to do with my life during the most emotional time in my life. Some people think that losing weight is as easy as just pushing away from the table and have no idea what it means it means to live a life being overweight and unhappy. I'm not saying that I will never tell anyone what I have done to lose such a massive amount of weight in a short period of time. I am just saying that I want to decide when I want to tell people or share my story when I feel that I am emotionally ready and strong enough to do so. People will judge you no matter what you decide to do in your life. That is a true statement. I just choose to have more control over the negativity that I may be subjected to because of people's lack of understanding. I am not ashamed of my decision and I am only doing this because I feel is best for me and my future. I am already a sensitive person by nature and I feel that after surgery, knowing that my hormones will be all over the place, is a time I want to deal with me and my feelings and whatever buyers remorse I may be feeling at that moment without others people input. I may get to a point to where I do want to share my story and perhaps help someone else, but at this point my focus is on making sure that I am healthy physically and mentally. Please share your thoughts with me.

Edited July 15, 201511 yr by Nikki Monroe

DIDN'T TELL ANYONE EXCEPT FIANCEE WHO TOOK CARE OF ME, AS OF RIGHT NOW I WILL PROBABLY NEVER TELL ANOTHER LIVING SOUL. MUCH SIMPLER THAT WAY.

how are you responding to questions about your weight loss?

I am keeping my surgery a secret because of my career, and a few other reasons. I did previously tell one person who told two people, even after I told them I didn't want anyone to know. This was all during pre-op time, so I told them I decided not to have the surgery. I don't see them often so it shouldn't be an issue.

You can't tell people and expect to keep it a secret, so if you really want it to be a secret don't tell anyone.

I have only told my immediate family and two work colleagues. I don't think it is anyone's business either. I know some people are curious and have asked me how I am losing weight. I just tell them healthy eating and exercise

Well at least your not lying...

I told my husband and my immediate family, and his immediate family. I also told my five best friends. I did tell all of them that I wasn't broadcasting it, as I wanted to tell only people I knew would be supportive. The week after surgery, my mother-in-law's friend asked me how I was feeling after surgery. Lol. So I just assume everyone tells at least one person. And I wanted to have control over who knew, not because I was ashamed but because it was private.

When anyone asks me how I'm losing weight, I tell them eating small meals, eliminating sugar and alcohol, and lots of Protein. The only issue I have is when someone who is also extremely obese asks me (like a coworker and a neighbor did) and I don't tell them because I do feel like this surgery saved my life. However, I'm guessing they both know about weight loss surgery and either they don't want it or can't afford it. But I feel bad nonetheless that I don't tell them how much the surgery benefited me.

I also decided not to tell many people. Immediate family and a few friends. Now that I have lost so much weight it is getting more difficult as many are asking. I have told a few more than I did originally but I am like most by telling them I have changed my Diet and Exercise.

Only my family and our friends know about my husband and I having the sleeve. We haven't shared with his family at all. He doesn't want his mom to know for at least 6 months. She's the type who if he lost 200 lbs would say, why not 250. Not very supportive. Would do nothing but worry and second guess everything we do. So we have our reasons. We have all the support and encouragement from my family and our church family that we need. We don't need the negativity right now.

My family and a few co workers know. His family if I told his mom I am sure one of you would have have are about it! Lol. She calls every single person she knows when she has "news" to share and then they call all of their friends who in turn call all of their friends.....you know how it goes. My husband wanted me to tell her I said absolutely NOT!

I started down this road last year and told two very close friends. And I immediately regretted it. I don't want to be compared to anyone they know who has had WLS and their 2nd hand details and judgements. WLS is a medical treatment for a condition that we all have. To me, keeping it private is no different than not telling people all about your daily meds or discussions with your doctors any other time in your life.

I wasn't released to have my surgery last fall after meeting ALL of my insurance requirements, because my lupus was out of control. One of the two friends, wls never came up in convo between us again. And the other friend, I told her that I don't even know about WLS anymore since "I'll have to jump through all of those insurance hoops again and that'll take 3-4 months" which I did. She just doesn't know that I already have. I told her that I strongly suspect that I have a hiatal (sp?)hernia. And that when I got time, I'd need to get into the pcp and talk to him about that. (we share the same pcp). My surgery date is Aug 24th. As it gets closer to that date (like a couple of weeks from now) I'll play that out. My VSG would be scheduled this far in advance. Having such a problematic hernia that required surgical repair, would be scheduled nearly right away. It's the exact same incisions, same re-coup time in hospital and almost the same post of care/diet afterwards. I actually do wonder if I actually have this hernia. lol. But, my surgeon will take care of it if need be. My friend and I both had our gallbladders out years ago. I also had a complete hysterectomy (incisions are not even close to the same, but regardless.... it'd explain the hospital stay and down time), so that isn't viable. The friend and I are pretty close. She can be VERY nasty when she gets jealous. I don't want her to EVER look at me that way. Wow. Sounds absurd when I read that back to myself. But, she really is a great friend. A great friend who lost her BFF after the BFF lost 250lbs after gastric bypass.

I'm the opposite, I told most of my coworkers. I got positive responses from all.

I started down this road last year and told two very close friends. And I immediately regretted it. I don't want to be compared to anyone they know who has had WLS and their 2nd hand details and judgements. WLS is a medical treatment for a condition that we all have. To me, keeping it private is no different than not telling people all about your daily meds or discussions with your doctors any other time in your life.

I wasn't released to have my surgery last fall after meeting ALL of my insurance requirements, because my lupus was out of control. One of the two friends, wls never came up in convo between us again. And the other friend, I told her that I don't even know about WLS anymore since "I'll have to jump through all of those insurance hoops again and that'll take 3-4 months" which I did. She just doesn't know that I already have. I told her that I strongly suspect that I have a hiatal (sp?)hernia. And that when I got time, I'd need to get into the pcp and talk to him about that. (we share the same pcp). My surgery date is Aug 24th. As it gets closer to that date (like a couple of weeks from now) I'll play that out. My VSG would be scheduled this far in advance. Having such a problematic hernia that required surgical repair, would be scheduled nearly right away. It's the exact same incisions, same re-coup time in hospital and almost the same post of care/diet afterwards. I actually do wonder if I actually have this hernia. lol. But, my surgeon will take care of it if need be. My friend and I both had our gallbladders out years ago. I also had a complete hysterectomy (incisions are not even close to the same, but regardless.... it'd explain the hospital stay and down time), so that isn't viable. The friend and I are pretty close. She can be VERY nasty when she gets jealous. I don't want her to EVER look at me that way. Wow. Sounds absurd when I read that back to myself. But, she really is a great friend. A great friend who lost her BFF after the BFF lost 250lbs after gastric bypass.

I think, that she must have some good qualities to have a loyal friend like you,but if she were a good friend to you,then you wouldn't have to worry about jealousy making her nasty towards you and you wouldn't be afraid to share such an important piece of yourself.

I told my significant other and that's it. My friends and family think the near 40lb weight loss is due to a strict diet and exercise....which is technically the truth

I'm the opposite, I told most of my coworkers. I got positive responses from all.

. Glad to hear you had a positive experience! Different strokes for different folks.????

I started down this road last year and told two very close friends. And I immediately regretted it. I don't want to be compared to anyone they know who has had WLS and their 2nd hand details and judgements. WLS is a medical treatment for a condition that we all have. To me, keeping it private is no different than not telling people all about your daily meds or discussions with your doctors any other time in your life.

I wasn't released to have my surgery last fall after meeting ALL of my insurance requirements, because my lupus was out of control. One of the two friends, wls never came up in convo between us again. And the other friend, I told her that I don't even know about WLS anymore since "I'll have to jump through all of those insurance hoops again and that'll take 3-4 months" which I did. She just doesn't know that I already have. I told her that I strongly suspect that I have a hiatal (sp?)hernia. And that when I got time, I'd need to get into the pcp and talk to him about that. (we share the same pcp). My surgery date is Aug 24th. As it gets closer to that date (like a couple of weeks from now) I'll play that out. My VSG would be scheduled this far in advance. Having such a problematic hernia that required surgical repair, would be scheduled nearly right away. It's the exact same incisions, same re-coup time in hospital and almost the same post of care/diet afterwards. I actually do wonder if I actually have this hernia. lol. But, my surgeon will take care of it if need be. My friend and I both had our gallbladders out years ago. I also had a complete hysterectomy (incisions are not even close to the same, but regardless.... it'd explain the hospital stay and down time), so that isn't viable. The friend and I are pretty close. She can be VERY nasty when she gets jealous. I don't want her to EVER look at me that way. Wow. Sounds absurd when I read that back to myself. But, she really is a great friend. A great friend who lost her BFF after the BFF lost 250lbs after gastric bypass.

I think, that she must have some good qualities to have a loyal friend like you,but if she were a good friend to you,then you wouldn't have to worry about jealousy making her nasty towards you and you wouldn't be afraid to share such an important piece of yourself.

Yes, that's true. She is an excellent friend. I think everyone has that one thing that they can't deal with due to a bad past experience. For some it's a bad shopping or restaurant experience. For some, it's being bullied. For some it's getting your hair done or something at a certain place. For many, it's a bad relationship. There are many people who won't touch a drop of alcohol due to watching the downward spiral of an alcoholic. And there are many even smaller things. I won't touch tuna with a 10 foot pole after vomiting it when pregnant over 10 years ago. There are people (I am one of them) who never realized how many people they have had bad experiences or associations with until it's time to name your baby. LOL Point being that everyone (E V E R Y O N E) has an avoidance subject/issue that they can't deal with based on their association with a horrid past experience. This just happens to be hers. I don't judge her for it. I just don't want to put her, myself, and our friendship through the anxiety triggered words and actions that I know would result. I have to do what's necessary for myself.

I've told mostly everyone I know and even started a Facebook page about my weight loss journey. I'm still in the pre-op stage. My family, friends and colleagues have been more supported than I could've imagined. The texts, Facebook comments and private messages have been beyond my wildest expectations. I'm humbled by all the support they've shown me. Even people whom I thought were close minded to this kind of thing have shown tremendous support for me.

Good luck to you all!!

I told everyone and still continue to do so. I am excited about the changes and I too feel beyond blessed at the support I have received. For the couple that don't, I just ignore them. The thought of keeping this secret after hiding in silence about my food addiction all these years was just too much.