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Usually, I'm pretty even keeled, even on the Internet, but some questions...



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Maybe a little off topic but I am very aware that my drinking has increased since I've been banded...and I know why.

I wasn't able to drink wine when I was heavy because it gave me awful heartburn. Now that my hernia has been repaired and I've lost 150+ pounds, I can drink white or red with no issues. I also know that folks can replace one addiction with another and while I don't have an alcohol problem, I am aware that it's a possibility so I make sure to keep my wine consumption to no more than two glasses while out to dinner and only an occasional glass at home.

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I am anxiously waiting to have my first drink, I drank massive amounts and got into 2 or 3 day stupors in college 30 yrs ago, I decided to stop on my own and combined with getting older I became a very light but discriminating drinker, maybe once every two or three months and even then very specific about what I want, I prefer beer or fun wines, and if it is beer I limit myself to one or two and stop, but this 4th of July was tough, I was BBQing for family and craving my favorite beer, a chilled Dos XX dressed up, I still researching on the use of alcohol after gastric, so far the studies of pros and cons seem to be about even 50/50, so if I do I will try to be smart about it and if I see any negatives from it it will be the last time, interestingly no one seems to know exactly why, theories range from sugars in the body to fast alcohol absorption and intoxication, so we will see.......

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My head has exploded a few times already. I've been a member here almost a year now. I have little patience for ignorance. I also don't really give one care or thought to people who don't like me, or my bluntness. I like me. I have a good sense of self, and my existence doesn't depend on who likes me. I think if I were even more honest, I'd probably get the boot from this place.

I think, and this is just my opinion.....as I have stated many times in this forum, that in order to get this surgery everyone should at least see a therapist as much as we have to see a nutritionist. I have for the past year been in therapy dealing with my food addiction issues, and I'll keep saying it....because I believe it's so important to being successful in losing and keeping this weight off. I'm no different than a heroin addict. Seriously. Only my drugs are readily available, affordable, and legal. Yeah...talk about a junkies dream!

This is why so many people struggle. They did not deal with their food addiction issues. That's why they are so hungry. But they need to get up, and make a call, and get into therapy and work it out. Stop talking about how hungry they are, and start finding out why. We all have a story, reasons....we didn't become fat for fun.

I also think people should be tested on what they know with an actual written test. Before surgery. To make sure they know what they can and cannot do, what they are supposed to do, eat, drink, and when to call the Dr. The amount of questions people ask NON PROFESSIONALS here about is astounding to me. CALL YOUR BARIATRIC CENTER!

Lastly, I think there has to be a more uniform across the board system that all Bariatric centers use. I'm told to get 50-60 grams of Protein daily. Others are told 100 grams daily. I'm unsure what that's about unless it's a height issue. I'm short, so maybe I don't need as much. Some people are eating regular food by 6 weeks out, I'm on soft diet for at least 2 more weeks. They don't want me on Protein shakes anymore, and if I need more Protein only unflavored powdered protein is to be used. Some people are still drinking Protein Shakes almost a year out! I don't care, I just don't understand why things are so different for so many people. Some have no pre-op liquid diets, while others have 10 days or more. I mean why can't the surgeons even get together and agree?

Oh, and a side note. There are some really great members here who are selfless and help everyone, and I thank them for having the patience. You make things so much better for people who need answers, comfort, and care. Thank you!

End rant.

I had to take a test for both the surgeon and the nutritionist before I could have surgery. And there was still sooo much additional information that I didn't know!

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I was required to take several tests at different phases, I guess I'm dumb for assuming it was standard fare, and as for psych I totally in agreement since I broke down in front of my therapist friend at work( I work in psych so I had lots of free helpers) when I had to admit that a lot of my bad habits started at home, but since my mom was my last family member to pass away in December 2013, and I have no more family except my wife and kids, it was very emotional but in the long run made me stronger

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There but for the grace of life and a lot of hard work go I........

It's so easy to judge and be righteous and push some else to the bottom of the heap. The harder way is to try to understand and relate.

Maybe we can choose to remember that we all reached a point where we would do ANYTHING not to feel the pain of being obese. And my guess is that for all of us we tried many times and many ways to lose weight before we were successful. Even with success, every day I know that I can fall off the wagon and once more be humbled, pick my self up and try again.

For me food obsession and addiction is always waiting for me. My mind can always try to fool me into taking that bite of something that starts the downward spiral.

This blog is a way for us to remember that we were once there too. Let's be honest.....we could be there again!

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wow reading some of these post actually make me not want to post here. If you find a question to be stupid simply don't answer it. Some people actually don't know or they have a very crappy NUT that isn't really helping them be realistic. Others haven't come to the conclusion that weight loss surgery isn't magic yet. oh and BTW 20 year olds arent all immature. If you consider yourself a "veteran" try actually helping instead of belittling people. try to remember how people were towards you when you were first starting

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...however, these types of threads make me really nervous about posting anything on this site in the future. I'm still pretty new, both to this site and to WLS (I was sleeved 3 weeks ago). I posted a thread a while back with that I thought was a reasonable question.

Lauraellen80- keep posting. We all need this site to support our success and we need it even more when we stumble. We will all have moments when we titter into our disease of obesity, no matter what we weight.

We need to be supportive of everyone, wherever they are in their journey. This is a lifetime challenge for all of us. And like life, there are all kinds of people with their own opinions. Makes it all that much more interesting. ;-)

Best to you You can do this!

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wow reading some of these post actually make me not want to post here. If you find a question to be stupid simply don't answer it.

Keep posting-we all need to support each other no matter where we are. Best to you!

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wow reading some of these post actually make me not want to post here. If you find a question to be stupid simply don't answer it. Some people actually don't know or they have a very crappy NUT that isn't really helping them be realistic. Others haven't come to the conclusion that weight loss surgery isn't magic yet. oh and BTW 20 year olds arent all immature. If you consider yourself a "veteran" try actually helping instead of belittling people. try to remember how people were towards you when you were first starting

Exactly. I don't think a lot of times these forum veterans and other judgmental posters realise that their hostile approaches to questions deemed as 'stupid' may be putting off others members from seeking needed advice for very valid and pertinent questions.

I find it slightly odd that some forum members are yet to figure out that not all things are created equally especially in terms of the realm of surgery/ medicine and medical programmes. Some folks are berating others for knowing about guidelines about alcohol post surgery but just to illustrate my point about all clinics not being made equal or to the same standards, my bariatric programme/clinicians haven't stated much about alcohol post op apart from a nurse saying that i should bear in mind that if I drink, I would now be intoxicated faster and from smaller amounts'. Nothing about damage to the pouch, empty calories or cross addiction.

Edited by SoulGlo

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Given the state of WLS today -- if you can afford it, you can find a surgeon to perform the surgery -- those who do more research online prior to surgery (by lurking on WLS message boards, reading medical research study reports, studying various surgeons' Web sites, reading the www.asmbs.com site, etc.) are going to be better prepared for what's required to be successful with WLS than those who aren't research hounds.

As a research hound myself, I'm always a bit surprised that some people go into WLS apparently knowing so little about it -- based on the questions they ask and the comments they make post-op.

I also think that many WLS surgical practices fail abysmally in preparing their patients for WLS and what they must do to avoid future problems and be successful.

Finally, and this is seldom said out loud, I think some people are ill-equipped intellectually and/or emotionally for this journey and are badly served for not having been screened better pre-op. Some folks who don't or can't make the necessary behavior changes post-op (due to lack of education, lack of initiative, or their inability to understand and undertake those changes) may wind up even worse off physically and psychologically post-op than they were pre-op.

Recovery from obesity is a tough slog, and WLS as a treatment for obesity (generally speaking) has a long way to progress.

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Let's just say that 20 year old read this post, I would bet she will not be back to this forum. There goes her opportunity to read and learn valuable information from this site. I saw her post, as I saw this one. This is why people stop participating. If you see something that irritates don't respond. I bet there will be others that may take a moment to express their concerns and what they have learned along the way.

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wow reading some of these post actually make me not want to post here. If you find a question to be stupid simply don't answer it. Some people actually don't know or they have a very crappy NUT that isn't really helping them be realistic. Others haven't come to the conclusion that weight loss surgery isn't magic yet. oh and BTW 20 year olds arent all immature. If you consider yourself a "veteran" try actually helping instead of belittling people. try to remember how people were towards you when you were first starting

Exactly. I don't think a lot of times these forum veterans and other judgmental posters realise that their hostile approaches to questions deemed as 'stupid' may be putting off others members from seeking needed advice for very valid and pertinent questions.

I find it slightly odd that some forum members are yet to figure out that not all things are created equally especially in terms of the realm of surgery/ medicine and medical programmes. Some folks are berating others for knowing about guidelines about alcohol post surgery but just to illustrate my point about all clinics not being made equal or to the same standards, my bariatric programme/clinicians haven't stated much about alcohol post op apart from a nurse saying that i should bear in mind that if I drink, I would now be intoxicated faster and from smaller amounts'. Nothing about damage to the pouch, empty calories or cross addiction.

I think its more of the posts that say stuff like, "I know I'm not supposed to drink, but I'm doing it anyway at 2 weeks post op.. " and there are quite a few like that..

But I agree..

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Given the state of WLS today -- if you can afford it, you can find a surgeon to perform the surgery -- those who do more research online prior to surgery (by lurking on WLS message boards, reading medical research study reports, studying various surgeons' Web sites, reading the www.asmbs.com site, etc.) are going to be better prepared for what's required to be successful with WLS than those who aren't research hounds.

As a research hound myself, I'm always a bit surprised that some people go into WLS apparently knowing so little about it -- based on the questions they ask and the comments they make post-op.

I also think that many WLS surgical practices fail abysmally in preparing their patients for WLS and what they must do to avoid future problems and be successful.

Finally, and this is seldom said out loud, I think some people are ill-equipped intellectually and/or emotionally for this journey and are badly served for not having been screened better pre-op. Some folks who don't or can't make the necessary behavior changes post-op (due to lack of education, lack of initiative, or their inability to understand and undertake those changes) may wind up even worse off physically and psychologically post-op than they were pre-op.

Recovery from obesity is a tough slog, and WLS as a treatment for obesity (generally speaking) has a long way to progress.

Agree 100% with you on this. After more than two years on this site, I am also horrified by some of the ignorance I see. I blame the surgeons mostly for allowing their patients to undergo a WLS without truly understanding what it entails.

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I agree that some docs don't have a comprehensive program that some of us have experienced. As a result, it appears that many people simply don't know what they can or cannot do at various stages. This is a good place to ask questions. However, in some cases it seems as though the patients simply have limited info from their WLS team. That's very unfortunate.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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