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Usually, I'm pretty even keeled, even on the Internet, but some questions...



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Given the state of WLS today -- if you can afford it, you can find a surgeon to perform the surgery -- those who do more research online prior to surgery (by lurking on WLS message boards, reading medical research study reports, studying various surgeons' Web sites, reading the www.asmbs.com site, etc.) are going to be better prepared for what's required to be successful with WLS than those who aren't research hounds.

As a research hound myself, I'm always a bit surprised that some people go into WLS apparently knowing so little about it -- based on the questions they ask and the comments they make post-op.

I also think that many WLS surgical practices fail abysmally in preparing their patients for WLS and what they must do to avoid future problems and be successful.

Finally, and this is seldom said out loud, I think some people are ill-equipped intellectually and/or emotionally for this journey and are badly served for not having been screened better pre-op. Some folks who don't or can't make the necessary behavior changes post-op (due to lack of education, lack of initiative, or their inability to understand and undertake those changes) may wind up even worse off physically and psychologically post-op than they were pre-op.

Recovery from obesity is a tough slog, and WLS as a treatment for obesity (generally speaking) has a long way to progress.

I think that has something to do with the way a lot of people see doctors and surgeons. They are put on the highest pedestals and held up as if they were deities .

Not many people question their authority and believe that they'll always provide a total comprehensive and definitive medical advice/instructions on their health problems, failing to realise that incompetence and complacency exists in the medical profession too. Personally, I don't trust doctors so I'll always do my own research in addition to listening to Dr's medical advice. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to burn to learn and most folks will never be burnt by doctors/surgeons to know that better informed you are about your medical situation, the better your health outcomes. will probably be.

BIB: You're right but doesn't that provide an even stronger reasoning for why people need to be less hostile in approaching these situations? If someone is lacking in education, initiative or inability to really understand the changes that need to be made in order to succeed, i don't think a Maury Povich styled tough love boot camp approach (especially from a random stranger) or a roasting will help them to achieve that understanding, it might just push them further away from the right path If advice is presented in a sour or chatty tone or style then the person might not take it seriously and think the individual offering the advice is being nasty for the sake of being nasty.

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wow reading some of these post actually make me not want to post here. If you find a question to be stupid simply don't answer it. Some people actually don't know or they have a very crappy NUT that isn't really helping them be realistic. Others haven't come to the conclusion that weight loss surgery isn't magic yet. oh and BTW 20 year olds arent all immature. If you consider yourself a "veteran" try actually helping instead of belittling people. try to remember how people were towards you when you were first starting

Exactly. I don't think a lot of times these forum veterans and other judgmental posters realise that their hostile approaches to questions deemed as 'stupid' may be putting off others members from seeking needed advice for very valid and pertinent questions.

I find it slightly odd that some forum members are yet to figure out that not all things are created equally especially in terms of the realm of surgery/ medicine and medical programmes. Some folks are berating others for knowing about guidelines about alcohol post surgery but just to illustrate my point about all clinics not being made equal or to the same standards, my bariatric programme/clinicians haven't stated much about alcohol post op apart from a nurse saying that i should bear in mind that if I drink, I would now be intoxicated faster and from smaller amounts'. Nothing about damage to the pouch, empty calories or cross addiction.

I think its more of the posts that say stuff like, "I know I'm not supposed to drink, but I'm doing it anyway at 2 weeks post op.. " and there are quite a few like that..

But I agree..

I agree with you too, those kinds of threads are understandably annoying and I don't think the OPs realise they are kicking a hornets' nest when posting them. But there has to be something said for people who continued to engage them despite being extremely irritated by these questions.

In my subjective view, I feel some posters secretly relish having an opportunity to go at the Ops of these kinds of questions but that's just my opinion

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I am 51 years old and I have also seen some hostility here, but I am a firm believer in paying it forward and try to be helpful to ANYONE, I think a lot of veterans forget where they came from and the ridicule that comes along with being obese, I've seen some pretty crappy comments, I became involved in one because the poster was only asking how much weight people had lost their first month, and someone went on a rant with it never even touching on the question, you would have thought they asked who died, lol, I think if there is legitimate concern over a fellow members actions or posting, there is a tactful way to approach them without making them feel like crap, don't leave this forum because of a few soured peeps, your still gonna encounter them everywhere, I deal with them on Facebook, and at work, this a great forum and there are a lot of us willing to help any way we can

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BTW it shouldn't matter if your sleeved at 15yo or 70yo, everyone who has been sleeved knows all the negative stuff that came before, the ridicule, name calling and stereotypical associations, so we all deserve a great amount of respect!!!!!!!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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