I'm 21 and freaking out!

[chasingpolaris321 214]

Even though I think everyone here has some very valid points about long term consequences and potentially setting yourself up for trouble by drinking, I must say that I really empathize with your predicament and know that there is a different kind of stress and shame socially when you don't partake in your usual eating and drinking routines while out with friends at our age (I'm in my mid 20's so slightly older)

I was still finishing grad school when I had my surgery, and even though my social group is less intense party wise than yours is, people in their 20's are under much greater pressure and scrutiny than when you get older and your friends start to settle down and the pack mentality lessens. I've been put on the spot in front of large groups of friends (not maliciously) and it is hard to explain a sudden huge shift in behavior to people who you aren't close enough with to tell, especially since partying at our age is a frequent occurrence and we don't have careers (I do now, but not until recently) and families to lessen our social activities.

I'm a year out now and started having a glass or two of wine from time to time. I now find drinking to be somewhat physically uncomfortable so it's easy for me to self limit, but I'm sure that will eventually change. It sounds like you will be out of the college atmosphere soon, so consider the first several months to be a time to set better habits without feeling like you can never drink again. The way I think about it is I have a choice between being the biggest party pooper in the room or the biggest girl in the room. It's hard to practice in reality but my guess is that you'd rather forgo the partying for the weight loss when you look back five years from now.

I also want to say that I respect everyone who is older and who has been through this' opinions, but to remember that you can't save people from making your mistakes. If I could go back in time I would tell middle school me to have more confidence, more compassion towards my peers, and more respect for my parents. But that's not how life works. Hindsight is 20/20, and we learn from our mistakes as we mature. Weight loss surgery is hard for people in their 20's just like it would be hard for someone in their 40's getting divorced and dealing with teenage kids. Wherever we are in life weight loss surgery is a deeply personal decision with individual challenges, and I have compassion for all of us who want better, healthier lives for ourselves.