Hi Everyone,

I am really scared to write this because I feel like a total failure. I won't go into too much detail here but wonder if anyone has had their band removed, has considered it, or has known anyone who has had their band removed.

My band is not working for me, and I am not letting it work I suppose. I am most definitely an emotional eater and the band hasn't helped with that at all. I am actually very bitter over the whole thing.

I have had my band since April 2003. I lost 40lbs. originally, very successfully, thought my band was still too loose and got it tightened to 2.7 cc from 2.3cc and have had problems ever since. I have had all the Fluid taken out for a while- maybe 3 months for my stomach and esophagus to heal. Went on liquids for maybe a week. I am currently at 1cc. It wasn't very tight when I first got 1cc this last time, but 1.5 cc was way too tight. Now over the last two weeks, I have bad heart burn and can't eat more than a very little amount.

I have been banded long enough to know the basics. I know I don't follow all teh rules very well. I have been trying to take very small bites- but why do I feel so tight at 1cc when before I was at 2.2cc and was perfect?

Why is it that I still make bad choices with the band. My band can be fairly tight and I can still gain weight because when the chicken is hard to eat, the cheetos aren't. What is so wrong with me that I can't do this... yet everyone else seems to be doing well? Why can't I overcome the emotional aspects of the eating to let me band work?

I suppose I am at my breaking point and have no idea what to do from this point. My husband is stand here telling me, "Honey, I love you. It really doesn't matter how heavy you are." But it does matter! I HATE ME! I always have and feel like I am losing a lifelong battle and I guess I just want to know how others have overcome it. Because I feel like I have been defeted.

Sorry... this is way too long... but like I said... I am at the breaking point! Please offer any suggestions you can.

Thanks!

Hi there...I'm so sorry you're having such problems. It sounds like you are really struggling with both the physical and the emotional aspects of having weightloss surgery. If you really feel totally out of control, I'd suggest you get yourself to a therapist ASAP. If you know the rules and are self-sabotaging yourself anyway...there is probably a lot more going on than anyone on this board can help you with at this point. Please know that you aren't alone, and that others have had to get help to deal with exactly the issues you are discribing.

My hunch is that if you got the band removed, you'd gain back all the weight you have lost plus much, much more. Having the band removed isn't going to solve anything if you're emotionally unhealthy. In fact it's probably keeping you from gaining a significant amount of weight as we speak. Maybe that is what your band is designed to do for *you*- keep you from gaining while you work out the issues in your emotional life. If you look at it that way, you are a success.

It's not your fault...you aren't a bad person or a failure. You just have some different challenges and your strong enough to work through them. But I'd say again- find a therapist who deals with eating disorders and compulsive behavior **tomorrow** You deserve to feel good about yourself!

Keep us posted...

Megan

Please be kind to yourself! You've lost 40 pounds! Have you looked at something that weighs that much? That is a lot of weight! I agree with Megan, please check into seeing a therapist. If you can find out what's going on, I bet you'll be a successful bandster. I think the head hunger is the hardest part to work on. I'm continually working on it. Try to have good band foods available so you'll grab them instead of the cheetos. It's o.k. to have them occasionally. You sound like you have a wonderful, supportive husband. Can you get him to walk or ride bikes with you regularly? Does he try to eat healthy foods when he's around you? Have you been checked to see that your band is properly positioned, no slippage or pouch stuffing? If your band is fine and you can get the emotional part answered, I bet you'll start losing again. Best of luck to you!

Hello,

Sorry it has been so difficult for you. I have noticed how easily junk type foods go down as well but I have learned to replace them with healthier versions. There are some REALLY good baked cheese puffs that have much fewer calories and less fat that taste wonderful. I think one serving was something like 2 cups. If you like candy try some of the smaller weight watcher candy bars and limit it to one. Healthy choice makes wonderful ice cream. However most importantly you MUST get Protein down as your staple. chicken can be hard for any of us if we choose pieces that are too dry. I find legs work best for me. Also try chicken roasted in sauces or with a can of Soup. You must get creative! I enjoy stews too. I agree with marie and megan though that it would be pointless to have it removed. Who knows... maybe at some time down the road the rules will be easier for you to follow. Best wishes to you, Teresa

Hi,

I am sorry that you are having trouble. I know exactly how you are feeling because I feel like that a lot myself. The band is a wonderful tool that aides with the 'mechanics" of this disease, but its not an easy solution ( physically or mentally). You are not a failure. You have lost 40 lb.

> I have had all the Fluid taken out for a while- maybe 3 months for my stomach and esophagus to heal. Went on liquids for maybe a week. I am currently at 1cc. It wasn't very tight when I first got 1cc this last time, but 1.5 cc was way too tight. Now over the last two weeks, I have bad heart burn and can't eat more than a very little amount.<

That sounds very familiar to me. A few months back I started having bad reflux, and couldnt eat much. Had all the liquid taken out for a while, then a little liquid gave me total restriction, killer reflux, and tiny portions. Well, my band had moved ( pls see your doctor and have an x ray). Had surgery to fix it, feeling just like you sound! hoping the doctor would decide to remove it so I didnt have to worry about it not working or all the habits I cant break and all the things I have done ( and keep doing) not quite the right way.

Knowing the basics doesnt mean its easy to do it! TRUST ME! If we could control ourselves and overcome the emotional things that make us overeat, we wouldn't need a band Dont beat yourself up! There is nothing wrong with you. Just do your best with your food choices. Think of those 40 lbs! set your next goal and instead of cheetos open a tin of tuna or drink a Protein shake.

Please see your doctor as soon as possible, and try to avoid foods you have trouble with. After the doctor realised my band had moved, and until my surgery, I was told to stick to a liquid to mushy diet to avoid more damage.

Hope all is well. Chin up and good luck in your journey.

Tellie

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your words of encouragement! I need it now more than ever! I am going to go see my Dr. on Tuesday and talk things over with him and make sure everything is functioning properly.

Not to sound like a pessimist again (which I am) but I have gained about about 35 of the 40 lbs. I have lost!

But, I just need to get motivated again and I guess feeling like I CAN do this!

Thanks for your kind words!!!!!

Shannon

Good luck Shannon!! Remember, we all felt like lost cases at one point or another. I still don't talk much about my weight loss as somewhere deep inside, I'm afraid I'll jinx it. It's already slow enough.. lol.

Hi Shmeier,

"I am really scared to write this because I feel like a total failure." WRONG!!!

I DID notice something in what you wrote....and I hope you won't be offended if I give you my opinion....

You wrote:

"My band is not working for me, and I am not letting it work I suppose. I am most definitely an emotional eater and the band hasn't helped with that at all."

When I first had my consult for the surgery, the surgeon asked me what were my expectations...going on to say that the lap band is not a "Miracle Cure"....not a "magic wand"....that will automatically make you thin! He said that if that was my perception, then I am not having it done for the right reasons! He said, and you will read it everywhere, that the lap band is a "tool" to help you lose weight and keep it off. But ULTIMATELY, it's up to us to make it work, make it a success. The band should not have to "work for" us....and it's not up to the band to "help us" overcome emotional eating....WE are what makes the band work!!! The band is our TOOL; but we still need to change our behavior, change our habits. We still need behavior modification, as with ANY diet or weight loss surgery. The band will not "work for" us unless we are willing to give it a chance! It's all in the attitude! WE are the one who controls what we eat...and if it's emotional...then we need to find help to control our emotions so that we can eventually control what we eat!!!

I found that I had my surgery EXACTLY when I should have had it. I waited months and months for approval from the insurance company. But I always say, everything happens for a reason. And if I had my surgery a day, week, or month sooner I would not have been ready, emotionally, psychologically, physically...and my attitude would have been way different than it is now. And I say things worked out exactly as they should have...

What I am trying to say is this....You have been given this great "tool" to help you lose weight, feel better about yourself, be healthier, etc. etc. You've gone through the surgery, you showed that you can actually lose weight, so it's not a complete failure!!! And Neither are you!!! This will help you KEEP the weight off. And nobody said you have to do it in 1 yr, 2 yrs, etc. There is no deadline....it's a lifelong thing. It didn't take you a few months to gain it....so don't expect miracles. Find someone, ask the doctor for someone; talk to the Dietitian at his office and find some way to get yourself back in the frame of mind you were in when you decided to have the surgery in the first place. It's a LIFETIME COMMITTMENT!!!

No matter what you decide to do it will be the same!

You've come this far and have shown you can do this!!! Maybe you just need a little encouragement for your emotions. Start a new hobby or new exercise...when you are happier, you will be amazed at how fast it will work!!!

Don't wait for the lap band to "work for" you....you need to work for and with the band so that you will be happier and healthier.....and WE are all here to help you!!!......Give it a try....and honest try...and see what happens!!! You will be amazed.....you will see what a precious gift you've been given....another chance at LIFE!!! And how many people get that???

You've got the TOOL.....now use it!!!

Nancy*

I agree- life is not easy ans tho it was easy to gain this weight -change is never so-it will take time a patience and well encouragement -i just got banded myself like nancy (hi nancy) and i guess you need to get in track with your body and your mind and get involved with maybe a support group there to help more one on one and face to face-get a walking buddy who has had the same thing done, talking to us is fine but you may need more personal "love and attention". Talk to a therapist too- i'm with you on that!--good luck

I don't know if this will help, but I feel your pain. I am contacting my surgeon tomorrow to see how to get my band removed, if that is even possible at this point. I feel almost exactly as you do. I feel defeated. I don't know if it helps to hear that you are not alone, but you are truly not alone on this.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? It might provide an opportunity to consider and think about the emotional issues.

Best wishes,